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How would you feel about this...

#121
TWolf said:
We are in our 40's. And yes, I agree. That is a big issue... I had to read about it on fb.
I was a part of this "project" 6 months ago. Then the guy (Rick) quits and the project dissolves. Then a few months later Rick is back with my bandmates and his bestie bass player and the project is back on. And Not a word to me about it. It's just not sitting well.
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Bail. If this is a professional outfit, you need co-workers who can be trusted. If it's a hobby, why waste time on something you aren't enjoying?
 
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#124
August gig.
TWolf said:
So here's the resolution:
I shook his hand. Got in the truck and drove off.

Mind blowing. A guy I considered my friend. One of those guys you think you will be playing with for 10 years and then out out of the blue...a kick in the teeth.
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Some people just don't get it. You are clearly operating at a higher ethical level than this guy. The fact that he quoted his preparedness for rehearsal and his commitment to the band as a response to your "you should have told me" is evidence. His unapologetic attitude is also completely unacceptable for any kind of long-term relationship. The "I don't owe anyone anything" comment shows how egocentric he is.

Glad you nipped it now rather than after a few more months of rehearsal.

Now it's time to regroup, and be successful in your own pursuits. Now you know why he could be so disloyal with that other band -- he has no ethical compass when it comes to interpersonal relationships.
 
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#125
We went through drummers like water for several years. One day our bandleader was all excited about a drummer he'd played with in the past. So Matt comes in and tried to run the band for three weeks. My mother in law just died and my childcare situation changed drastically. New drummer demanded I change rehearsal night to accommodate his wedding rehearsal. He was a major Richard. long story short, the band leader and I had a long discussion and we came to the conclusion that I was no longer a candidate for a full-time band because due to my dead mother-in-law and my child care situation I no longer have the ability to show up for a weekly rehearsal or play on any given Friday night ever again. The new drummer absconded with our longtime rhythm guitarist and started a disco band and me and the band leader are now floating different trios. I hold a resentment but I'll never tell him so and I even came out to see their new band last weekend because I still like my rhythm guitarist, he's my friend.
 
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#126
Lance Bunyon said:
We went through drummers like water for several years. One day our bandleader was all excited about a drummer he'd played with in the past. So Matt comes in and tried to run the band for three weeks. My mother in law just died and my childcare situation changed drastically. New drummer demanded I change rehearsal night to accommodate his wedding rehearsal. He was a major Richard. long story short, the band leader and I had a long discussion and we came to the conclusion that I was no longer a candidate for a full-time band because due to my dead mother-in-law and my child care situation I no longer have the ability to show up for a weekly rehearsal or play on any given Friday night ever again. The new drummer absconded with our longtime rhythm guitarist and started a disco band and me and the band leader are now floating different trios. I hold a resentment but I'll never tell him so and I even came out to see their new band last weekend because I still like my rhythm guitarist, he's my friend.
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The BL decided you are not a candidate for a full-time band but somehow you are still with the BL. And with no band??
 
#128
I'll try to make this as short as possible.

EDIT. I bailed from these dorks, see page 7.

About six months ago yadda yadda...
TWolf said:
I'll try to make this as short and to the point as possible.

About 6 months ago, I was in a start up project - 4 piece rock covers. The sub-genre was actually quite specific and the name and logo were unique. We rehearsed a couple of months but it never got off the ground as the guitar player, "Rick" suddenly bailed, out of the blue saying he had no time for the commitment. I will also mention that Rick's good friend, "John" plays bass and they were in a former project together.
The vocalist "Bob", drummer "Stu", and I recruited another guitar player and retooled to go in another direction. Changed up the sub-genre, new songs, new name, and basically started over. We're still trying to get off the ground with this project too. We've had one gig and one more scheduled for next month, after a couple months of rehearsing. Things seem to be on track and going ok.

Today I learned that "Bob" and "Stu" have rejoined with Rick and John and are promoting their "new" band. The band is the same project we had originally started 6 months ago with Rick. Same sub-genre, same name, same logo. So, in other words, they re-started the same project only with "John on bass and not me. And I might add, never mentioning anything to me, despite the fact that I'm still in a band with "Bob" and "Stu."

We're all adults and good players. I can hold my own and always show up as the most prepared at each rehearsal. So it's not a case of being the weak link or anything.

How should I feel about this? I know guys play in multiple bands and I'm totally fine with that, but not the same name, genre, and logo of the project I helped start? A project in which I invested a lot of time learning the material I might add.

From where I stand, Rick walked away from a promising project, so he could play with his buddy John and then recruited Bob and Stu to restart the project without me. I'm not sure I can accept that. Seems pretty underhanded.

Is this normal behavior or am I over reacting? My impulse is to say screw this and walk away from the current band.
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#133
1. it's not normal, but it's common behavior. and its cowardly.
2. You can't trust musicians. I guarantee this won't be the last time you're screwed over. that's the music biz.
3. Another example of why I don't like wasting time on start-ups
4. Yes, you are totally being disrespected and dissed. they are douches. run, don't walk, to the nearest exit and never deal with them again. They cannot be trusted
 
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