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How would you handle this?

#21
I would let the BL handle the whole thing. That's why he's the BL, to take care of these issues. And, it sounds like he is pretty good at it.

Only give your opinion if asked, otherwise, just show up and play with whoever the BL hired to do the gig.
 
#23
RustyAxe said:
I bet you play alone ... a lot. Stuff happens. People have lives outside the band. Any good BL will see that there are capable subs available to cover such situations when the arise. To not do so is to be a poor band leader and an unreasonable task master.
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Depends upon how serious you are about the band. My current band is my job. Before I left my day job, I the last 5 years I worked I only missed one day. Now, I was lucky, didn't really get sick, but there was an expectation that I be at work unless I was sick, or something just as serious. In my band, we take the same attitude. None of us have needed a sub in two years, and we play 2 to 4 times per week. Now if the band is a hobby, and you all have day jobs, etc. then yeah, no big deal. I think it depends a lot on the situation.
 
#25
headband said:
Depends upon how serious you are about the band. My current band is my job. Before I left my day job, I the last 5 years I worked I only missed one day. Now, I was lucky, didn't really get sick, but there was an expectation that I be at work unless I was sick, or something just as serious. In my band, we take the same attitude. None of us have needed a sub in two years, and we play 2 to 4 times per week. Now if the band is a hobby, and you all have day jobs, etc. then yeah, no big deal. I think it depends a lot on the situation.
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I get it ... and we operate the same way. But ... things do come up. I'm glad you have a full time gig. What goes with that is the NEED to make every gig because to miss one is a hit your primary income. A good incentive for everyone to show up. Now, do want me to believe that in five years you never ever asked for a day off? Had a family obligation that needed to be met? Needed a "mental health day"?

In our band if we members agree to a gig, we do the gig come hell or high water. If we contract a sub for a night, the sub plays, come hell or high water.
 
#26
RustyAxe said:
I get it ... and we operate the same way. But ... things do come up. I'm glad you have a full time gig. What goes with that is the NEED to make every gig because to miss one is a hit your primary income. A good incentive for everyone to show up. Now, do want me to believe that in five years you never ever asked for a day off? Had a family obligation that needed to be met? Needed a "mental health day"?

In our band if we members agree to a gig, we do the gig come hell or high water. If we contract a sub for a night, the sub plays, come hell or high water.
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We probably agree more than we disagree. I can't begin to know all of the circumstances in this case. Always issues are situational - I don't know the nature of the drummers issue, and maybe it is a very serious issue. So if the BL makes the sub and hire/fire decisions, I agree with others and say let the BL handle it.
BTW - I don't "need" the money. I can afford to miss a show or two - I do it because I like it.
 
#27
Lots of good advice and insight here. For your amusement, I thought I'd give you an update. Pulling off this gig has become a freakin' clown show. Our drummer resolved his family emergency and will be able to play the gig, which is great news because the sub drummer called and flaked out on us anyway.

We have two friends lined up to sit in on guitar. Each will be able to cover a set, and the core of the band will be able to cover the third set on our own. The BL called guitar sub #1 last night about having a rehearsal. The guy acted confused. He didn't recall agreeing to doing a gig. Apparently, he was hammered when he took the first call and didn't remember the conversation. Then he had to be convinced that he was merely sitting in, not bringing his entire band for the whole gig (his band has jammed twice in the past 4 months and rarely gigs at all). BL straightened him out and they rehearsed last night (without me, as I had a prior commitment). The good news is that #1 is now good to go for the gig, and should have a bunch of friends in tow.

We were supposed to rehearse tonight with sub #2, except #2 called late this afternoon to say his house was in the process of flooding from burst water pipe. We're postponing rehearsal for a few days. This guy is solid on guitar, so we should have no issues with the songs come gig time.

Our guitar player is still in the dog house. He made it clear that he didn't want to share the stage with sit-ins, so he's getting his wish and will be taking the night off. This chain of events that he set off is ridiculous, and the rest of the band frankly doesn't want to deal with him right now. We are just a bunch of working stiffs that play out a couple times a month for the fun of it. There's no room for an ego-maniac drama queen. He'll get a chance to bury the hatchet once this gig is over, but life is too short to put up with his crap.
 
#30
One way to mimimize this drama is to have only ONE guitarist in your band. How anyone thinks you could have two and not have a 95% chance of one of them being a guitard is beyond me. The odds are not in your favor. (it can happen that you have two of them that understand things like volume, but it is quite rare)
 
#31
RustyAxe said:
I bet you play alone ... a lot. Stuff happens. People have lives outside the band. Any good BL will see that there are capable subs available to cover such situations when the arise. To not do so is to be a poor band leader and an unreasonable task master.
Click to expand...

I haven't been without a band in about 25 years. Most of my bands have a life-expectancy of 4 to 8 years, and most of the name/identity changes have happened with the same core members being retained. A band is not just the needs of one person, but a whole bunch of them. If you can't have a sense of responsibility about showing up, that's a problem. I'm not a "BL" because the bands I'm in are always 'group vote' situations. Unless my name is in the band name, I don't want the 'leader' title, although I do tend to be the 'organizer'.

"Life" does indeed happen, but if you're calling out on gigs because you can't get your schedule in order or because your priority is to go to see that show by that band you kinda like rather than play a show, you're not 'in it' for the right reasons. A band that has to cancel shows without good excuse or has to use a panoply of different fill ins will never be as good as a band that has regular solid members that know the material and know the players' habits inside and out. The guys I play with agree. They have lives and families and don't like it when people waste what little time we all have outside of other duties.

I've also played with a 104 degree fever and the flu. Back when I was in a 'signed band' I did a gig on a Thursday night until 2am, then got in the car and drove 5 hours to my own grandmother's funeral the next morning then drove home afterwards to make it to the next gig. I'm not asking people to do that...just be responsible and do what you've agreed to do. Sorry you double booked during your daughter's first year clarinet recital, or that you have some 'awesome friends' from 5 years ago coming in town. Don't agree to do a show if you can't do it.
 
#32
Whatever works for you and your band is fine by me. No argument against what you say until ...

BurningSkies said:
I've also played with a 104 degree fever and the flu.
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A situation where we would use a sub if we had time to arrange it. No sense in exposing the whole band to whatever bod-rot is bugging me.

Back when I was in a 'signed band' I did a gig on a Thursday night until 2am, then got in the car and drove 5 hours to my own grandmother's funeral the next morning then drove home afterwards to make it to the next gig. I'm not asking people to do that...just be responsible and do what you've agreed to do.
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So why mention it at all? That's manipulative.

Sorry you double booked during your daughter's first year clarinet recital, or that you have some 'awesome friends' from 5 years ago coming in town. Don't agree to do a show if you can't do it.
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Stuff happens. If it happens too often, becomes a habit, that player needs to go. But stuff happens. In our band we're friends enough to care about each others' lives outside of the band.
 
#33
RustyAxe said:
Whatever works for you and your band is fine by me. No argument against what you say until ...

Originally Posted by BurningSkies View Post
I've also played with a 104 degree fever and the flu.
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A situation where we would use a sub if we had time to arrange it. No sense in exposing the whole band to whatever bod-rot is bugging me.

Originally Posted by BurningSkies
Back when I was in a 'signed band' I did a gig on a Thursday night until 2am, then got in the car and drove 5 hours to my own grandmother's funeral the next morning then drove home afterwards to make it to the next gig. I'm not asking people to do that...just be responsible and do what you've agreed to do.
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So why mention it at all? That's manipulative.
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Well, in the past (many years ago) I've also worked with a high fever - why - because at the time it was my job and I needed the money and cancelling gigs could of cost me future work. I even worked the night my mother died in the hospital.
 
#35
MIMike said:
I would let the BL handle the whole thing. That's why he's the BL, to take care of these issues. And, it sounds like he is pretty good at it.

Only give your opinion if asked, otherwise, just show up and play with whoever the BL hired to do the gig.
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Sounds like a pretty good plan to me. BL already dealt with the ego issues and did a pretty good job of it, from the description. And, for what its worth, I'm strictly a day job type, but it would take an act of God to keep me from playing a show I agreed to play. It's the Woody Hayes mentality - if you can walk, you can play. I don't care how awful I feel, there's no chance I would let down the others if I came down with something. The others in the band are the same way. If one of us gets sick, the rest of us probably catch it right away anyway, since we see each other all the time.
 
#39
OP update... we played the gig last night WITHOUT our regular guitar player and everything went great. We had one friend come up to start the show with us on guitar, and we ripped through a bunch of Beatles songs and a few others. We played up the 50 yr. anniversary, and the crowd loved it. Then a couple guys from my singer's side-project came up and played 8 or 9 songs with my singer and drummer. I got to take a break while they finished the first set. I had no problem sitting out a few and saying hi to friends, etc. Also got to hear my band and my rig for the first time from the audience's perspective, which was cool. After the break, we finished the set as a 4-piece -- our 2nd rhythm guitar player/backing singer stepped up and played lead on a bunch of songs, and he did great. We even had a guy came up and play sax on a couple tunes with us -- I had never seen the guy before, and it was totally cool and out of left field. Overall, we had a blast and were very well received. The venue's manager came right up to us after the show with a big smile and said to plan on coming back soon. The best part is that the four of us looked at each other after we finished, and we all had smiles on our faces and only positive things to say to each other - no nitpicking at all. This is what it's all about for me.

Even before the show, we came to the consensus that our regular guitar player is out. If he would have played last night, I'm convinced that he'd be jealous and bitter that the other guys were stealing his spotlight. We don't need that kind of BS attitude, so he's long gone. I guess the moral of my story is that the band is about ALL of the people in it, not just one guy who thinks the world revolves around him. Thanks for the feedback everybody... keep on rockin'.
 
#40
Even before the show, we came to the consensus that our regular guitar player is out. If he would have played last night, I'm convinced that he'd be jealous and bitter that the other guys were stealing his spotlight. We don't need that kind of BS attitude, so he's long gone. I guess the moral of my story is that the band is about ALL of the people in it, not just one guy who thinks the world revolves around him. Thanks for the feedback everybody... keep on rockin'.
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+100
 

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