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How Would You React? (BL Problem)
- Thread starter BayStateBass
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Yeah dude. If he doesn't understand respecting someone's privacy then that's a sign that it's time to move on.
So I'm not crazy.
Thanks, people.
Over the last month or so, as tensions have been building, he has threatened a couple of times to dissolve the group, stating that he's done it before and he'll do it again if he's pushed.
When we did our demo, our singer was hesitant about some of the songs because he felt they weren't our best ones. The BL told him that there was no discussion, the songs were set in stone. Our singer griped a little bit, and was the first to leave after the session.
When he left, the BL looked at all of us and said "He's gone. I want him gone." The rest of us stood up to the BL and told him that Steve is our guy, we like him, and he stays. The BL then threatened to collapse the band at that point.
Part of me wonders if he's looking for an excuse to collapse the project, once again, and start over, and have someone to blame for it other than himself.
When I was hired, I asked him why the band had collapsed before. He blamed the old bass player and the female singer, who were a couple, saying that they created all the drama and ruined the project. Knowing how those dynamics can have that result, it seemed logical at the time.
Thanks, people.
Over the last month or so, as tensions have been building, he has threatened a couple of times to dissolve the group, stating that he's done it before and he'll do it again if he's pushed.
When we did our demo, our singer was hesitant about some of the songs because he felt they weren't our best ones. The BL told him that there was no discussion, the songs were set in stone. Our singer griped a little bit, and was the first to leave after the session.
When he left, the BL looked at all of us and said "He's gone. I want him gone." The rest of us stood up to the BL and told him that Steve is our guy, we like him, and he stays. The BL then threatened to collapse the band at that point.
Part of me wonders if he's looking for an excuse to collapse the project, once again, and start over, and have someone to blame for it other than himself.
When I was hired, I asked him why the band had collapsed before. He blamed the old bass player and the female singer, who were a couple, saying that they created all the drama and ruined the project. Knowing how those dynamics can have that result, it seemed logical at the time.
Save him the trouble. Become self-dissolving.
Why wait until he breaks the band up at his convenience? Take care of yourselves and move on.
Maybe even slyly add into that conversation that perhaps the reason his bands never last has more to with him and less to do with the people he's playing with
If what you say is true about him, (and I suspect it is) then there's no doubt in my mind that HE is the problem. I just wanted to point out the logical analysis of the problem. You have already swapped the parts of the engine that aren't broken... 24 times! To continue doing that in hopes it will get better is madness.
So, remove yourself from that mess and try to reform with some of those non-broken parts. And for God's sake, whoever the band leader is stop spreading the negative opinions around. Spread only the positive and help your band build each other up.
There was a wonderful Demotivators poster to the effect:
"The common element in all your failed relationships is you."
The guy wants to do his thing unburdened by all the current players.
It will be hard to avoid gloating if you have a mass exodus, but "It's just business."
Where it will get ugly is when the existing bookings cancel due to anticipatory default and those customers come to the newly reformed group. I do not know how to protect yourselves from that, other than insisting you see their cancellation in writing before you even talk...
"The common element in all your failed relationships is you."
The guy wants to do his thing unburdened by all the current players.
It will be hard to avoid gloating if you have a mass exodus, but "It's just business."
Where it will get ugly is when the existing bookings cancel due to anticipatory default and those customers come to the newly reformed group. I do not know how to protect yourselves from that, other than insisting you see their cancellation in writing before you even talk...
That's how the drummer feels about him.
The drummer also feels that the BL has been lying to us about the cost of the practice space and pocketing the extra money. He's asked about what the rent for the space is, total, and has gotten three different answers....none of which add up to the split we pay. I never thought much about it, as it's only $25 per month, per person, so I just chip in when it's due. Actually, I've been giving $35-40 per month just to build up some extra coin in the band fund in case someone is short one month, or we need a cable, or etc....which really hasn't been an issue because each person has good stuff and can financially afford their own breakage or replacements.
On one of our upcoming gigs, the BL has given us three different answers as to how much it pays. Originally we were told $400. Then the story changed to $350. Now he's saying that it's $330. For another one, he won't commit to a price, saying that it's somewhere in the $400-$450 area. Honestly, the money's not the issue....all of us are in positions where it's just "extra coin", but these answers have caused the drummer to think the guy isn't being completely honest with us, and he doesn't trust him.
These are just some of the many, many issues.
Form a new band with all the members. He is only going to throw one problem after another at you guys until he cycles through all of you. Then do it to the new guys. Some people are just A hole's. its a simple fact. Its cool that hes been able to book you guys and get the word out but a lot of people can do that.
I'd form a new band with all the members then call all the venues your booked at and cancel for your existing band then book the new band for the same gigs.
I'd form a new band with all the members then call all the venues your booked at and cancel for your existing band then book the new band for the same gigs.
Yes, essentially. We talked with him in January about stepping back from playing or singing at all and just concentrating on managing and booking, which honestly he's not bad with. We were okay with that. We told him we were more than happy to just do the shows and he could take a fee or some other compensation for his work that he felt was fair. We would handle all the playing, the transportation of the equipment, setup, breakdown, etc....
He couldn't help much with it anyway because he's 68 years old, a heavy smoker, and recently had heart surgery.
He refused and said that if he did that, we couldn't afford him.
He also stated that he didn't want to be a manager, he wanted to be a performer.
As far as some of the typical BL duties, he made me the "music director" a few months ago, so I do the song selection, work on charts and chord sheets, organize the setlists, and direct the practices. He does supply MP3's for the group when we tackle new songs.
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