• TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
    Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
    Join free Log in
    Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.

I AM THE DEVIL AND I KILLED JESUS!

#41
Stanley Design said:
One time when my friend Vlad called I picked up and said

"Blockbuster video how may I help you?"

"Uhhh, hi? This is blockbuster?"

"Yeah this is blockbuster"

etc etc.

We strung him along for MONTHS, he would call back 3-4 times EVERY TIME HE WANTED TO CALL US to get through to our apartment. I would have my girlfriend answer as blockbuster a few times then he'd call back a third time and I'd answer. He'd ask if my girl was over and I'd say "no? she's at work, why?" haha. Sometimes he would get really pissed off, we just said "it's probably a crossed wire or something" and shrugged it off. My roommate and I were always on the ball and would turn off the tv and any music if he called, then crank it back up when we would really answer.
Click to expand...

That's so awesome.

For the last two years I've been getting calls for some woman named "Tiffany." From all sorts of people, too. Even her aunt. Not as many now as the first few months after I got a phone, but still. They leave messages, too.

A while back, my sister kept getting calls, and since she usually has her cell phone off, messages, from some law firm in Ohio intended for some guy named Miguel. Eventually they finally called while the phone was actually on, and she informed them quite bluntly that she didn't know anyone named Miguel, and that for the last month they'd been leaving messages on the phone of a 17 year old girl in California.
 
#42
A few years ago, I worked at TGI Fridays as a host.

The way to answer then was "TGI Fridays, home of the mudslide. How many I help you?"

So my friend called my cell, and I answered like that. He paniced and hung up.
He called back a minute later, and I did it again. He was like "Mark, man this isn't funny." Then I pretended like I didn't know what he was talking about and then, once again. He hung up.

He then saw me on MSN and my name said "at Martyn's" (My friend's house) So he called my friend's house. I answered, the same way "TGI Friday's home of the mudslide" and then started laughing.

Well, all he wanted was my friend's number. So I gave him the number for TGI Fridays.

He called TGI Fridays, and the host answered the same way I did. And my friend went BALLISTIC. Saying "MAN! THIS ISN'T FUNNY! I'M GONNA****ING KILL YOU!!!"

I went into work the next day, and turns out that my manager called the police and traced his number and found his address. The cops went to his house the next day and had a talking to him.

Best Prank Ever.
 
#44
Papazita said:
...according to the insane old man who called my cell four times tonight looking for a price on a 50-pound bag of bird seed.

Call #1
Me: Hello?
Caller: Hello?
Me: Who is this?
Caller: Wha...what in the h%&$ kinda way is that to answer a phone?
Me: Sorry, I think you have the wrong number.

*click*

Call #2
Me: Hello?
Caller: Now listen, I just called your store and one a your guys was awfully d**& rude to m...
Me: I'm not a store. You have the wrong number.
Caller:...ain't this Lowe's?
Me: (sighs) ...no.
Idiot: Well I'm lookin for a price on a bag of bird seed. A big bag. 50 pounds.
Me: Wrong. Number.
Dips@!*: I'll hold.

*click*

15 minutes later...

Call #3
Me: (sigh...) Wrong number.
Time Vampire: Don't you people know how to work your god*&( phones? Now listen; you put me on hold and ain't nobody been answerin. I been waitin for near 10 god^&@# minutes!
Me: This. Is not. Lowe's. Wrong. Number.
Corporal Crazy: So put me on the right god_+)^ number, then!
Me: Wrong...
Lieutenant Looney: OH NO YOU DON'T! YOU AIN'T PUTTIN ME ON HOLD AGAIN! OH MY JESUS GOD, HE'S PUTTIN ME ON HOLD AGAIN! OH LORD COME AND TAKE ME NOW! HOW GOD{=-^ F@#%ING LONG IS IT GONNA BE THIS TIME?
Me: :eek: ...uh...
Admiral Numbnutz: BIRD! SEED!
Me: ...HOT! DOGS!
Psycho: Oh you think you're real funny, dontcha? You think you're real f^%*ing funny. Well it ain't gonna be so funny when you get fired cuz a this, is it? YOU'RE THE DEVIL! YOU'RE THE GOD^%* DEVIL! YOU KILLED JESUS! BIRD SEED! 50 POUNDS! PRICE! NOW! SEED! BIRD! OH SWEET JESUS GOD HOW HARD CAN IT BE?
Me: :eek: :eek: :confused: :help: ....please hold.

*click*

Call #4
Me: F&^# off.

*click*

Aaaand that number got blocked! :D
Click to expand...

Sorry man we were drunk and having fun...

:D
 
#45
Mark Wilson said:
A few years ago, I worked at TGI Fridays as a host.

The way to answer then was "TGI Fridays, home of the mudslide. How many I help you?"

So my friend called my cell, and I answered like that. He paniced and hung up.
He called back a minute later, and I did it again. He was like "Mark, man this isn't funny." Then I pretended like I didn't know what he was talking about and then, once again. He hung up.

He then saw me on MSN and my name said "at Martyn's" (My friend's house) So he called my friend's house. I answered, the same way "TGI Friday's home of the mudslide" and then started laughing.

Well, all he wanted was my friend's number. So I gave him the number for TGI Fridays.

He called TGI Fridays, and the host answered the same way I did. And my friend went BALLISTIC. Saying "MAN! THIS ISN'T FUNNY! I'M GONNA****ING KILL YOU!!!"

I went into work the next day, and turns out that my manager called the police and traced his number and found his address. The cops went to his house the next day and had a talking to him.

Best Prank Ever.
Click to expand...
Mark Winsom.

A few years ago I kept getting calls from this lady looking for her brother, and she wouldn't believe me that I wasn't him. So I gave up and told her that I was her brother and that I died yesterday. She hung up and hasn't called back.

lowsound
 
#52
Mark Wilson said:
Yea?
I was one of a few guy hosts, SURROUNDED by hostesses.

I fail to see any problem?
Click to expand...

the problem is clear. you tapped none of them. they saw right through your nature failous nature.

fail.

now mark, tell us, you got the job not to tap any of the hostessesssesseses, you got the job to hook up with them to go "outfit shopping" with them at Melrose.

admit it, you can't fool The NJL 4.210-226-3232
 
#60
Jordasch said:
TGI post. It was funny, I wont lie.

OT, did you ever get that Nash?
Click to expand...

Putting the down payment saturday :)

NJL said:
the problem is clear. you tapped none of them. they saw right through your nature failous nature.

fail.

now mark, tell us, you got the job not to tap any of the hostessesssesseses, you got the job to hook up with them to go "outfit shopping" with them at Melrose.

admit it, you can't fool The NJL 4.210-226-3232
Click to expand...

*** is a melrose? And no. I didn't tap em.
My girlfriend at the time probably wouldn't have liked that.
Turns out she was a cheating ***** so...I admit fail.

Ben Lesser said:
Have you seen pictures of him?

I rest my case.
Click to expand...

I...have nothing witty to say to this.

NJL said:
yes, i made the mistake of adding him to facebook.
Click to expand...

I accepted your offer.

This is such a huge fail on both our parts, that it counter-acts and reverts back to one big win.
 

Latest posts

Top Bottom
Back