I'm putting this under humor and gig stories because it's a gig story, not because I think it's funny. I'm not proud of this. This is really more of a confessional. As we were loading out after the show, there were a couple of guys outside the door where the bands load out. The one guy was very drunk. But he seemed all right. He complimented our set. But he was also having this weird, kind of pointless, drunken argument with his friend. So he was a little belligerent, but not to me. At first. Next trip out I had both hands full, carrying my pedalboard, amp head, and guitar stands, plus wearing a heavy backpack full of stuff. This guy decided to sit down right in the doorway. I was already a little annoyed that these guys had to be right by this door, but now he was completely blocking me. So I said "excuse me fellas, but we're trying to load out here. Can you guys please get clear of the doorway?" Drunk guy seemed to acknowledge me (he said "OK") but didn't move a muscle. So I asked politely again. Nothing. And again. Nothing. So I kicked him. Hard. Now, you have to understand, this is NOT in character for me. Yes, I can be high-strung, and yes, I can be difficult. But hitting another human being who, annoying and inconsiderate though he may be, has not made any physical threat towards me whatsoever? Not cool. I still don't know quite what came over me. Post-gig adrenaline maybe? So anyhow, this solved my immediate problem. Drunk guy went sprawling. Me and my band now able to load out. I carried my gear across the street to my car and began loading it into my trunk. By now, drunk guy is on his feet and flipping out. Now I'm thinking there's no way to avoid a fight. I've still got more gear in the bar, and he's between me and it. Sizing the guy up, he didn't look like much, plus he was very drunk, where I was stone sober. Still, you don't know what someone is capable of. But as I was loading the trunk, I spied my tire iron. There was a brief, crazy moment, where I saw myself grabbing the tire iron and charging the guy. Thankfully, another voice spoke up in my head. "No! Do NOT escalate this situation!" So what could I do? My basses were still in the bar. I walked up to the guy, unarmed, and with my hands at my sides. His hands were up, so I took his right hand in mine in one of those "arm wrestling" style handshakes, and put a hand on his shoulder. "Dude," I said, "I'm sorry I kicked you, BUT." "Don't ******* touch me, man!" I kept my hand on his shoulder. Yes, it was a deliberate attempt to subtly dominate him. "I shouldn't have kicked you" I said. "You could have asked me politely to move!" At this point his friend spoke up. "He asked you three or four times and you didn't budge". So eventually I got him to calm down and I went back into the bar. His friend followed me in. He approached me and said "dude, I just want to thank you for not hurting my friend. I know he was really asking for it." "No problem" I said. "I think he's a little drunk, and a little out of his depth." "He's a lot of both. Really, just thank you for not hurting him". "I feel bad that I lost my temper and kicked him." "You didn't lose your temper" he said. And in a way, he was right. I was a lot bigger than this guy, and although he was half my age, I feel pretty confident I could have taken him, and quickly at that. So I'm proud of having de-escalated the situation quickly. But I still can't believe I kicked him. By my own value system, that was wrong, wrong, wrong. Today, the back of the thigh of that leg hurts. I think I pulled something. Karma I guess. Anyhow, I'm a guy who believes that you go through experiences because there's something you're supposed to learn. And I'm still trying to figure out what that was all about.