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I can play again
- Thread starter Rfan
- Start date
Trying to say this with as much tact as I can. Change into your man britches and play when you want. Maybe she won't like it but what is she going to do? You say you're leaving anyway so send her out with your foot down.
man, if this is serious i feel really bad for you having such a miserable life. dump that battle axe.
Good luck with it. Marriage is a gamble. Some couples grow together but many grow apart. No hard feelings needed, just part ways and live the life you want.
I work with a guy who's always whining about how his wife neglects his needs. I just have to laugh because he cheated and got kicked out. so..like a Moron he moves back in with her and it's the same crap but now she just probably wants to punch him in the face every tome she thinks about the cheating. Good Grief man!
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This must be very unsettling, I sense she has broken your spirit….I can not fathom an adult “not allowing” another adult to do something they enjoy and makes them a more happy balanced person with the exception of something that’s immoral or exceptionally dangerous….
Sorry your’e in this situation best of luck.
Sorry your’e in this situation best of luck.
It's all about give and take, it's a two way street. I built my wife a 10X12 Green house that is heated and cooled. She has a she shed for clay, wood and glass working. She also has the entire second floor for sewing and other projects. Oh and she has two Harley trikes. The trade off is that I get to be a connoisseur of Fine Rye Whiskey, ride my own Harley and VW dune buggy, play music and build basses which she totally supports.
We live a pretty full life and support each other on whatever crazy scheme comes about. I am a lucky guy, It could not work for me any another way.
We live a pretty full life and support each other on whatever crazy scheme comes about. I am a lucky guy, It could not work for me any another way.
Never have. Not once. And what you describe as how you're "allowed" to play breaks my heart.
I guess I'm lucky in that I have a wife who's also a musician, knew I was from day one, and knows that I have to play.
Because Tammy showed me the way...
This is a joke. I would not marry anyone that couldn't tolerate my music-making. Unless it was life threatening, like some drug addict, I was not functioning in life, not working on making a life because of it. Then it would be life saving if they loved me enough to make me stop.
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My wife is semi supportive about my out of control music habit. She hates the fact that I gig a lot. She's mostly resigned to me cranking the 400+ with massive B string distortion. We've been married almost 21 years.
One night about 6 months ago she yelled at me to stop playing for a while that night.
"I HATE DRUMS AND THINGS!" (She's Filipina, hence the funny broken English).
I'm still laughing at that line.
One night about 6 months ago she yelled at me to stop playing for a while that night.
"I HATE DRUMS AND THINGS!" (She's Filipina, hence the funny broken English).
I'm still laughing at that line.
Also, wife said "no more girlfriends!" She was serious. So hence, it was so.
I’m so sorry to hear that.
Rethink offing your gear, unless it’s easily replaceable when you inevitably start playing again.
My wife doesn’t complain that there are basses and amps in various rooms of the houses, or when I spend time in the shed. I get an occasional “turn it down,” but that’s about it. After 39 years, she knows I’m not going to change.
When we got married, my wife told me if I ever cheated on her she would kill me. She wasn't joking.
Other than that, she is supportive of anything I want to do.
Ideally, one spouse supports the other's life, interests, passions, .... Also, ideally, it's better for children to witness parents living their best lives, and making choices that lead to better health—physically, mentally, emotionally. Waiting may appear to have benefits, but the long-term consequences can be generational, and across more people than can be imagined.
Television as a priority is itself a form of death, but at least you can play along with the soundtrack.
Television as a priority is itself a form of death, but at least you can play along with the soundtrack.
Y'know, I've never understood the "ol ball n chain" humor, and all these people that marry people who they clearly don't even like... I was a musician LONG before I met my husband, and I could've never married him or stayed with him if he had any issues with it. Your life is yours to make, why would you spend it with someone you don't even get along with? As a child of divorce, I promise you that staying together for the kids isn't the heroic act you think it is.
Since that's the plan, consider holding on to the gear.
^ This right here.
(And headphones, of course. And batteries. And an instrument cable. But yeah. Keep one bass, and carry on playing.)
I had a problem, I sought help. I'm living an esteemable life. And I'm grateful she didn't kill meWhen we got married, my wife told me if I ever cheated on her she would kill me. She wasn't joking.
Other than that, she is supportive of anything I want to do.
Wow that's a very dysfunctional relationship. If she is even willing you might want to try some marriage counseling.
My SO knows that music is big part of my inner balance. So it has a direct impact on our life together and our balance. She is very supportive, and smart enough to know it wouldn't be good to disturb this nice harmony we're sharing everyday of this life...
Rent a rehearsal space to store your gear/play as loud as you want. If you're allowed out to go golfing surely you can go to your rehearsal space.
