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I couldn't feel worse

#21
tomas_almeida said:
The devil... hahahaha

tZer, you're absolutely right, I need to have a positive mindset on this matter.
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On this matter and on ALL matters. People in general find it easy to find fault or see the down side of things. Misery loves company.

It's much harder to recognize that "it's really not about you" - life is what it is... a series of events that happen. How you allow them to impact you emotionally is your choice. People can have really cruddy things happen to them that are completely out of their control. If you come through it breathing and undamaged, then the rest is in how you choose to let it live in your mind.

Choosing to allow your thoughts to dip in to the funk will drag the rest of you with it. Your health, your friends, family, etc. The more you can allow "the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune" to simply roll off your back and not turn your thoughts dark, the stronger you'll be.

One VERY positive thing to pull from your situation is that you are NOT those guys. You are NOT a person who'd do that to someone else - regardless of how others may treat you. Just because one can justify treating other people like dirt doesn't mean they should. Those who choose to rise above such things - dodge the all-to-easy "poor me! they suck!" thing - they're the ones you'll find in the really great places in life! They're the ones who are genuinely happy.

If you allow how other people behave to have a negative impact on your vibe, you GIVE them control over you and your emotions. That's an awful lot of power to hand to people whose character may be questionable.

Don't let OTHER people determine how you feel.
 
#22
funkybass4ever said:
Maybe the devil made them do it?:smug: seriously you would not want to be in a band with guys like that anyways. If they could not sit with you face to face and tell you then they do not deserve your talents. Time for you to start YOUR own band:hyper:
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That's a good way of looking at it. Better you see them for who they are now then down the road after you've put even more energy into the band. The world is full of musicians who's songs and playing will excite and inspire you and make you feel really good to play with, but that doesn't mean they aren't crummy personalities. A tragic truth is many great musicians are selfish, awful people to be around/deal with. You're lucky to experience this at 15 and get on the road to learning more about dealing with people in band situations.

I know this feels terrible to you now, the betrayal and disrespect are really hurtful, but don't take it as a reflection on you. How they dealt with you is way more a reflection of their shortcomings as people.

Channel your upset into becoming a better player. Let it light a fire in you to practice more, learn more and become a truly bad ass bass player. Find new guys to jam with, get back to it and before you know it you'll be back to where you want to be. Don't waste this time wallowing in self pity. The sooner you suck it up and get back to business, the sooner you're where you want to be again. Rising to these types of set backs and challenges will give you a good feeling of self respect and empowerment when the hard work you put in yields good results. Go for it man.

Keep us posted on how things develop for you musically in the future.
 
#23
Tomas,

Welcome to the music business.
Unfortunately, if you stick with it, this will not be the last time this happens to you. Sucks, but that's just the way it is.

The thing to do is just keep moving forward. Focus on practicing and improving you skills. If you really work hard on becoming the very best musician you can be and take every opprotunity to play with many other people in a variety of musical styles, before long you might find that people start seeking you out.

Remember: "Knocked down six times, get up seven times" :D


Cheers!
 
#25
you mentioned you were just as good if not better than they are, right? take this as an opportunity to stretch yourself. if you can, find some musicians that can intimidate you with their skill and see if you can just jam with them, then go from there. i've found that playing with considerably better musicians has scared me to death, but i've come out of it much better, both on a technical and personal level, than if i had played with more mediocre musicians. just something to think about.
 
#27
Your former bandmates are further proof of the validity of a philopsophy attributed to Duane Allman. Duane was reportedly asked a question something like: "How did a young, white kid from North Florida learn to appreciate and play the poor black man's blues?" His reply was essentially as follows: "Hey, I don't know about the racial and wealth and other factors you seemed to be concerned about; but I do know there are only two kinds of people in the world--a**holes and regular folks." Guess which category your (former) bandmates fall into?

Another one of the many "80/20" rules that applies to life is one that says the impact of any situation you encounter is determined 20% by what actually happened and 80% by how you react to it and deal with it. Your instincts to keep practicing and turn to the bass community here at TB are absolutely correct. Jam with new musicians and groups, learn new kinds of music, go to "open mike" and jam nights if they're available nearby, keep practicing, etc. You''ll soon discover there is even more joy in music than you were getting from this band. To a true musician--and it sounds like you might be one--that translates, in the long run, to more joy in your life.

Va com Deus, Tomas.

Bluesy Soul :cool:
 
#28
Feeling somewhat like Pete Best? (The original drummer for the Beatles for those of you under 60!). Pete apparently wasn't that ace of a drummer, so they were wise to replace him with Mr. Starkley. However - you probably are Sir Paul worthy, so - take it for what it is, a cheap shot by guys that didn't have the stones to discuss it with you in person. Like a bad spouse, despite how it hurts, you're better off without her!
 
#29
firstly, relax....... now go and form another band and kick some major a**

i was sad when my band split up. it was a band i had put together and written songs along with and what not, but the guitarist/singer one day feels like playing no more. so anyway whatever today am having one hell of time with this new band. we are touring and earning nice $$ and what not
 
#30
Take what experience you gained from it and move on. I wish I was in a band at 16. I started playing at 32 and have been in a band for three years now. Maybe it was only because you were younger than them. Who knows, anyway like someone else said, this will likely happen again down the line (hopefully done a bit more tactfully) you just have to keep trying. I recently auditioned for another band, and have not heard back. Oh well, I'll keep trying to. You have a lot more time to find the right band then I ever will.
 
#31
Yeah, what happened to you was pretty low life in my book. I've been fired from a few band's in the past, and I've also quit my fair share too for good reasons. More often than not a band can also just run it's natural course with the members going off to persue other things. I encourage you with the others here at TB to chalk it up as a growing experience and keep on plugging away. You have further musical adventures ahead for you. I wish you the best.
 
#35
Thank you all for your insights, all of them have been eye opening.

I'll move on, I'll take this just as an obstacle I have to surpass.

About the girlfriend, I have experience in that field, and it doesn't really suck much time from me, I'm not really that romantic and a dedicated lover, it's really when I'm feeling like... :D


And the comment about the band's name...

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
 
#36
Gates of Hell is not a very original name, and it seems to be a theme that's carried over to the music. Timing is off on a bunch of parts, which I noticed it a lot with bass so that's something you could work on constructively speaking (almost seems like you don't even fit with the song), riffs seem like they're pulled straight from a CD, overall sound is alright though. If they see it as "their band" and you're just the bass player, you can't do much about it. It doesn't matter who's there, they'll never be a part of the band. Not contacting you at all beforehand is about the shadiest thing I've ever heard though. At least you didn't get to the show and find out then!

PS...sorry but I couldn't help but feel that the first song on the myspace page was Green Jello's version of 3 Little Pigs at first :D

 
#37
LOOOOL It does seem like that song.

Thanks for the critic. When I went to record one of the songs I didn't even know one of the songs, so I made the bassline in the spot. We were recording a rehearsal, so yeah timing was not that good, inexperience...

I agree that the material is very unoriginal, but the guitar player wrote the riffs, and as I was the youngest member and didn't want to be kicked out I just agreed and made my bass lines. I'm currently working on timing.

The thing is, I didn't even know they were going to do a show. Only discovered when I discovered I was kicked out...

I'm going to practice a lot now. I'm going to sign myself in a jazz school to have some classes on jazz theory and improvisation. As I am very young I hope to be able to become some kind of bass player, even if not a great one.
 
#38
The thing about experiences like this is that as you continue on in life you will enver forget how they made you felt, and you will be certain to make sure that no one else you deal with is made to feel like that.

...and that means something in this world. It may not seem like it now, but eventually it will. You've learned an important lesson that those older than you obviously don't know.

It sucks, but it's not over by a longshot.
 
#39
It's crap, man. And it happens every day. Trust me, we've all been through it, and those of us who haven't will be if we continue on in music. It's like motorcyclists and laying the bike down. It either has happened or will happen. You will inevitably work with d-bags. You're lucky, you got it out of the way early.

I've dealt with it a bunch of times. Just recently, I learned how lucky to be in the band I am. I auditioned for this band on guitar, and right when I got the spot, the other guitarist and the drummer left, leaving just me and a vocalist. I told him "Look, man, I'll be down like four wheels if you will. Don't walk away, it's a solid concept and we can do this." This guy is by far my favorite metal vocalist, anywhere, let alone locally. I got hugely lucky that he said yes. We started auditioning more members. We got in a guitarist and our style changed a bit, and I couldn't keep up with the writing. I let the guy come in and smoke me. Well, now that we had an almost full lineup except for a bassist, they sat me down and said "Look, dude. You have experience on bass, too. You aren't producing on guitar, and the last thing we want is to not have you here anymore, we're all your friends and we like having you in the band, but we need another guitarist capable of writing as prolifically as Jay is. Would you consider stepping into the bass position? This way instead of concerning yourself with writing full songs, you can write your basslines if you've got a block on writing the songs themselves, and when you do have ideas, you better believe we'll listen to them and use them if they're solid."

They came to me honestly, respectfully, announced the issue they had and an amicable solution, as opposed to just bringing in somebody else. I've never had more respect for a group of musicians I've worked with than now, because they showed me respect. Keep at it, and you will be in a group of similar folks, and you'll be just as happy.

Like one guy here said, everything happens for a reason. Not my exact philosophy, but I tend to think similarly: Everything tends to work out. So long as you keep working at it, it just will. The knocks you take on the way will only serve to educate you, if you let them.
 
#40
I wish someone had told me this when I was 15 - The Universe Will Always Put You In The Right Place, If You Let It. I'm sure another door wil open for you that you wouldn't have noticed if you were still with these jerks.

Also, it's probably ONE of the guys that had it in for you, not the whole bunch. You will probably end up in a band with one of them eventually - at which time you can fire them. :D
 

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