• TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
    Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
    Join free Log in
    Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.

I just don't get it.......

chubfarm2001

chubfarm2001

Sep 9, 2010
499
146
46
St. Marys, Ohio
www.dirtylakeband.com
#1
I have come across many stories from my friends and read some stories on here about something that I just don't get. I see a lot of guys on here saying that their wives or girlfriends are making them get rid of gear. Why? If it is for a serious cause I can understand, like a job loss, medical issues, or something extreme like that. But many of the situations I see are just the women wanting the guy to get rid of gear just because. Maybe I'm an a**hole, but if a woman gave me any kind of ultimatum like that I would no longer be with that woman. That's my gear, it's what I love to do. Why, if she really respected her man, would they even ask that? I would never ask her to get rid of shoes just because there are 12.6 million pairs in the closet. And don't get me wrong, I have a great woman now that completely supports my hobby, but I have had girls in the past try to do this to me, and that's one reason why they are in the past. I see that as very disrespectful and it kills me to see people being disrespected by their "better half". Am I missing something here? Am I just an a**hole? Or are a lot of guys just whipped that bad and have no self respect?
 
#3
chubfarm2001 said:
I have come across many stories from my friends and read some stories on here about something that I just don't get. I see a lot of guys on here saying that their wives or girlfriends are making them get rid of gear. Why? If it is for a serious cause I can understand, like a job loss, medical issues, or something extreme like that. But many of the situations I see are just the women wanting the guy to get rid of gear just because. Maybe I'm an a**hole, but if a woman gave me any kind of ultimatum like that I would no longer be with that woman. That's my gear, it's what I love to do. Why, if she really respected her man, would they even ask that? I would never ask her to get rid of shoes just because there are 12.6 million pairs in the closet. And don't get me wrong, I have a great woman now that completely supports my hobby, but I have had girls in the past try to do this to me, and that's one reason why they are in the past. I see that as very disrespectful and it kills me to see people being disrespected by their "better half". Am I missing something here? Am I just an a**hole? Or are a lot of guys just whipped that bad and have no self respect?
Click to expand...

Keep in mind, you're only hearing one side of the story.
 
#8
You never know the circumstances. Sometimes it could be the woman being unreasonable and controlling, when there's no real reason to sell the gear. Other times, though, it could be that there's a $5000 medical bill hanging over the household's heads and they're behind on the rent and the hubby just went and dropped $1500 on his seventeenth bass or something... under those kinds of circumstances, I can't blame the wife for saying, "OK, so what are you going to sell to pay for that?"
 
#9
No one mentions the crushing burden of debt that GAS usually adds to. Add to that the dishonesty that a lot of guys spout off on here like "I got sunburst, just like the other bass, so the wife won't notice" or "I had it sent to work... Someone's gonna be mad when they see the credit card bill" I think we start to understand the pattern.

If you're in one of those absurd households that doesn't share their money, but instead divides it like "man pays gas, electric, his credit card bills/ wife pays water, mortgage, her CC bills" you're more likely to come up into problems when you can't make your end of things meet.

My wife supports me, but we both know damn well that sometimes a GAS attack jut can't be fixed with a purchase... If the money isn't there, it's a no go. And that goes for stuff she might want, too. Granted she's rare; not into shoes and jewelry, but it still stands; no fun-money = no extra purchases.
 
#10
Well I went through my phase, the steel string, the nylon, 12, different electrics. Now that I am primarily playing bass and the guitars are mostly just in their cases. Now she has her own photographic GAS going. The amp I just got is going to cost me double :rollno: :D
 
#12
TheEmptyCell said:
No one mentions the crushing burden of debt that GAS usually adds to. Add to that the dishonesty that a lot of guys spout off on here like "I got sunburst, just like the other bass, so the wife won't notice" or "I had it sent to work... Someone's gonna be mad when they see the credit card bill" I think we start to understand the pattern.

If you're in one of those absurd households that doesn't share their money, but instead divides it like "man pays gas, electric, his credit card bills/ wife pays water, mortgage, her CC bills" you're more likely to come up into problems when you can't make your end of things meet.

My wife supports me, but we both know damn well that sometimes a GAS attack jut can't be fixed with a purchase... If the money isn't there, it's a no go. And that goes for stuff she might want, too. Granted she's rare; not into shoes and jewelry, but it still stands; no fun-money = no extra purchases.
Click to expand...

This guy is a speaker of truth.
 
#14
i cannot imagine hiding a purchase from my wife; i am honest beyond rationale.
but then she knows that all of her bills are always paid no matter what.
we both are savers and not spenders for the most part.
 
#15
There seem to me to be two reasons it comes up:

1.) As a joke

2.) Because the guy feels a need to list a reason why he is selling the gear and a default one is "the wife won't let me keep it". Self-explanatory so it's easy to write off. Instead of saying, "I'm selling it because I'm broke" or "I'm selling it because I have 60 basses and I don't use it" or "I bought it for half of what I'm listing it for and don't want you to know."

I would bet most of the instances when you hear that the wife couldn't care less. Or there isn't even a wife.
 
#16
Yeah, I wouldn't buy anything unless we were both cool with it. We have a joint account that all of our money goes into, so we're both buying everything. It has its downsides, like feeling obliged to txt each other if we're gonna get a coffee or something, but it has many upsides. Then again, some women are also just b****es
 
#18
As I understand, the main reason is that a woman (or a man) usually doesn't want to sign off on their significant other spending valuable time and money with a pursuit that isn't shared.

Or worse, a pursuit that could lead to them being shared...

Hopefully without sounding sexist or anything, women are also somewhat wired to seek a partner that can successfully provide for and protect their mutual family and its well being, so providing for ones own entertainment instead of improving the shared family condition is kind of inimical to a woman's world view.

For a guy though, the love for nice tools and devices is just an offshoot of being wired to provide and desiring the best tools to do so. The best tools give a guy a competitive advantage in what they do. Once upon a time, spears. Now neodymium cabs. :)

This same exact argument is heard in most pastimes.

Pursuits such as fitness, education or business though, which increase the odds of one providing long term for a family, are A-OK if not taken to an unhealthy extreme.

That leaves us gear-heads and gadget lovers out in the cold. :smug:
 
#20
Beyond finances, keep in mind that 18 basses and their hard cases, 6 speaker cabs, and boxes of pedals, cords, and unopened instruction books and videos can take up a lot of space in home, condo or apartment...including closet space. When the wife or GF is actually the reason something is being sold, it's often because of the space issue.

Plus, sometimes they are right!
 

Latest posts

Top Bottom
Back