I need new Frontman Stage Material

[StudioStuntz]

Another front had a stock line;

Folks, we do take requests, but only one per customer, so make it a good one.
And just so you don't waste it on my most popular request, pleased be advised... though I've tried and tried, the microphone still doesn't fit.

I don't remember how he phrased it more concisely, as it was 40+ (eeek!) years ago.

 

[StudioStuntz]

...

As an original band is about to start a set:
"We suffered for our music. Now it's your turn."

Hold up a napkin with a song request written on it: "This is a suggestion."
Hold up a napkin with a song request written on it and a five dollar bill: "This is a request."

"We have a request for some Jimmy Buffet. This is Jimmy Buffet's version of {insert next song in your set list here}."

When playing for a dead room:
"Could you keep it down? We're trying to play up here."

Some nice ones, napkin is my fave.

 

[StudioStuntz]

[QUOTE="jive1, post: 18744713, member: 29366...


Doesn't really pertain to today anymore, but worked in the past...
"We're really excited because we just scored a record deal. We're getting 11 albums from Columbia House for a penny"
[/QUOTE]

Love it.

If I ever hit the lotto (which means I'd have to actually play it) and have some extra cash, I'd resurrect CH just for that bit.

 

[StudioStuntz]

cool ill use that one, and ill trade you one back:

"Please do not drink and drive as you might hit a bump and spill your drink"

Comedian Jose Jimenez (Bill Dana) used to say:


Folks, the American Safety Council says "Remember... do not drink while driving".

Please folks, pull over to the side of the road, drink, then drive.

 

[jasonrp]

Do you guys know (Insert popular song here)? Awesome! We'll have to learn it sometime!

Who wants a mustache ride? (only works if you have a glorious porn-stache)

 

[Feral Feline]

And add, 'this is where the audience gets to indulge in the performance enhancing substance.'

I spontaneously once said, 'We are <insert band name>, who are you?'
It got a few laughs, and some bewildered looks.

Particularly Great if you're covering The Who's "Who Are You?" The next song.


A friend's band here that plays some risqué country tunes, the frontman likes to say "[band name], taking the 'o' and 'r' out of 'country'...".

I heard that a few times before it clicked, clicks more quickly when you read it, I'm sure.

 

[matty1039]

Attention, can I have everyone's attention please. There is a dented gray car in the parking lot. We just want to let the owner know it is really ugly. My God is it ugly.

 

[slagbass]

Lovin' this thread..... these probably don't stack up to some of the gems mentioned but here goes:

"Don't forget to tip the bartender - he's my Dad"
"We're gonna do a slow, tender ballad now - everybody cuddle up to your partner" then launch into pretty much anything by the Ramones.
Responding to sparse applause at the end of the song "Thank you - both of you."
My favourite is when the guitar player's solo goes on too long... play one note on an open string that fits the key then conspicuously look at my watch on my left wrist....

 

[Feral Feline]

"How about them Oilers, eh?"

 

[MrLenny1]

Any jokes work well. Also mixing up words in the song.
Anything to do with sex and drinking works well.
I worked with a band that did comedy and dirty drinking songs.
It went over really well night after night.

 

[Rib 13]

Ladies, dont forget that "Motel" spelled backwards is "Letom" (but say it like "Let Him")

 

[jive1]

Any jokes work well. Also mixing up words in the song.
Anything to do with sex and drinking works well.
I worked with a band that did comedy and dirty drinking songs.
It went over really well night after night.

One of the reasons why I love doing Caledonia by Louis Jordan, with the extended rap.


A good frontman can deliver a few lines between songs, but it's a great frontman that can lay down a rap in the middle of a song and keep the audiences attention.

 

[McG]

Im pretty good with coming up with stuff spontaneously but, occasionally, I have a brain-fart and fall back on some over-used junk ... Anybody got some to add to the cheap chuckle book?

I have a friend who likes to do snappy stage patter between songs. I gave him this book as a joke. Really bad stuff in it. I went to see him play a month later and he actually used several jokes from it. Groans galore from the audience

Maybe you should give it a try

 

[Rib 13]

I have a friend who likes to do snappy stage patter between songs. I gave him this book as a joke. Really bad stuff in it. I went to see him play a month later and he actually used several jokes from it. Groans galore from the audience

Maybe you should give it a try

View attachment 870176

perfect! thank you

 

[Feral Feline]

There's a bar here that has "Your momma..." jokes sign-painted on the walls.

Your Momma's so fat, when she wants to travel the world, she just rolls over...








...once.

 

[georgiagoodie]

"We've had several requests..., but we're gonna keep playin' anyway!"

"The Fire Marshal said he's gonna shut us down if you don't start tipping us."

"Please notice the tip jar, we are raising money for the poor & needy..., US!"

 

[Rib 13]

bi-monthly thread bump:
any more contributions?

 

[Jimmy4string]

I had an idea to show up in a bear suit for the first song and zip and strip out of it while it is going down!
Now that is some bear-ly great rock! That i hope the audience can bear.

"OUTTA MY WAY - IM HEADING TO MY DAMN GIG!!"

 

[Feral Feline]

Learn some card tricks and work your way up to making the drummer vanish and reappear, in time.

Do quick-change costume changes, there's a couple on Penn & Teller's Fool Us – order the clothes from them, as they sell magic props as well as their quick-change performances.

 

[jeffbrown]

I saw a band that was having technical difficulties (wireless guitar system) so the singer asked if anyone wanted to hear a knock knock joke. Someone in the crowd responded with their own knock knock, which is probably to the band's advantage.

It works really well when you have them start the joke themselves.

B/L: "OK, we're gonna do a knock-knock joke while >guitarist< (of course...) changes instruments. Do we have a volunteer?"

Drunk patron: "Do me! DO MEEE!"

B/L: "OK, you start...."

DP: "Uh, OK. Knock-knock?"

B/L: "Who's there?"

Crickets.......

Used this with my kids when they were small. Never got old!