I Think I Lost My Way

[glocke1]

Recently I've been to push myself out as this intermediate bassist when in reality I'm just a wannabe with a lack of rhythm. I might of had more rhythm in my high school band while playing with a pick but once I got out I started to lose it. What's worst is as a result after going through a long phase of getting a new bass as a patch up from wanting a Jazz bass to a short scale I am beginning to realized it me and my lack of passion for bass beyond making money in music only cuz I don't believe in good at much else. Now I am majoring in music in college and I feel it's a waist cuz the very instrument that I play I suck at. At this point I've lost my way and I don't know whether to just move to a less physically demanding instrument, go back into beats and production or just hang it up keep this as a hobby and do something else worth while in college which I'll tell you is not much I mean yeah I'm good at history but that's about it. All my way has been lost

Don't sound so down on yourself.

I'm 52, have been playing on and off (on and off due to life circumstances) since I was about 16.

For the longest time I thought I could play well, I got gigs..I played with people who were pros and pretty high up in the east coast jam band scene and got good feedback from those people as to my playing.

Than I started venturing into the jazz world and this idea that I could play well was thrown out the window. I was playing this stuff with guys far more experienced than myself, and the feedback i was getting was crushing. My timing was poor (i would tend to drag), my soloing skills sucked, (i'd get lost in the form), etc..etc...

It was actually kind of crushing and were it not for the fact that I had a thick skin from working in the corporate world for a long time I would have probably given up and stuck with playing the same sloppy jamband stuff I'd been playing up to that point.

Instead of giving up though, I buckled down and after a year became a better player than I was the previous year. Now, with C-19 affecting everything I came to another breakthrough conclusion. I largely enjoy playing for myself. I love bass, enjoy learning about what makes music work, enjoy picking apart bass lines on albums, etc...Playing music with others IS fun, but I also get a lot of enjoyment out of playing at home.

I don't have any delusions about any of this..I know that I'll never be the guy that walks into a jazz open jam session and blows everyone away, on the contrary I'd probably just make a fool of myself, but playing is good for my soul.

If you enjoy the instrument, stick with it. It may be a long journey for you to get to a level you feel you are competent at, but it will be worth it.

Also, it all comes down to the people you play with. Get out there and put yourself into situations where you are being challenged by better players. If you stick with other wannabe/intermediate players, thats all you will ever be.

 

[rpguitar]

I double majored in music and computer science. I chose after graduation to make my living at the latter, and have spent 40 years obsessing over the former - without the pressure of earning any money at it.

If you're in a community college music program, I suppose it's not music school per se. The difference in the culture of musicianship among the students and faculty will likely be dramatic between those two environments.

So it's going to be up to you to get the most you can out of it. One pitfall I see, which I don't believe has been mentioned in all the replies, is the critical importance of joining ensembles, jamming with other students, and performing recitals. Solitary study on your instrument is not enough - nobody is teaching you in that context. You're free to repeat and ingrain your current flaws, and avoid addressing your weaknesses. You need both teachers and better players to shine a light on your problems so you can address them.

The scholarly elements of theory, harmony, analysis, composition, and history are also not enough on their own. To be prepared as a professional instrumentalist, you need to have applied studies on your chosen instrument. Bass lessons, as it were. That's what you would get at a traditional music school.

As you are only 18, sky's the limit for you! So don't be discouraged. But try hard to see what I'm pointing out about what might be limitations of the program you're enrolled in. You said that nobody has heard you play bass yet. That's unheard of, really, in a true music program. If there are no other educational options due to cost, at least consider seeking musical company outside of the school so you can keep it real.

I would also take advantage of the free bass setup offer. I know very few 18-20 year olds who have a clue at setting up instruments (same can be said for any age!). It can make a huge, even fundamental difference in your axe's playability - and hence in your ability to excel on it.

 

[Erdal94]

I don't suck when playing with a pick but when it's comes to fingers I still suck after a few months of practice

Bro how long have you used the pick vs playing fingerstyle?

 

[NYCBass]

Don't give up, it's all fixed with hard work and sacrifice. Just keep at it and you will see results down the road.

 

[lfmn16]

I am beginning to realized it me and my lack of passion for bass beyond making money in music only cuz I don't believe in good at much else.

Unless you are really, really good and have good connections, you aren't going to make money in the music industry.

I'm going to go against the grain here and suggest that you seriously consider moving on from music and finding something you are passionate about. To be really good takes incredible discipline, hours of practice and a lot of sacrifice. It's not something you do because you aren't good at anything else. You really seem all over the place, one day wanting to play string bass, the next wanting a short scale bass. There are about a million things out there that you could do. Don't waste time doing something you don't love, take that time to find something you do love.

 

[ELG60]

Hi, Jalen. I understand your concerns. From my perspective and experience, the best thing a young person can do is to become a balanced, well-rounded individual with valuable skillsets.

Perhaps you can change your major to something with more solid economic viability, and a future growth potential yet still keep a minor in music, since it is a passion.

We all go through times of frustration and periods whereby we seem to be making little progress, or that we seem to be failing but many times, we can look back and see that we've gained something from the process . . . Either increased ability, experience, or both.

The key, in my opinion, is to keep pushing through if anything worthwhile is to be gained by doing so. We each have to decide if the juice is worth the squeeze, for any given situation of course.

Another thing that you may deem worthy of consideration is attitude. I believe that in most cases, the type of day we're going to have is contingent upon our own mindset and psychological preparedness.

Finally, it seems like having a set of short, intermediate, and long-term goals can make one's journey easier. Also, you might consider a brief study of military science . . . How modern military minds work . . . The strategic, operational, and tactical doctrines for attaining objectives.

Strategy- what is my overall aim? What do I want to get out of my life? Where do I want to be, and what kind of person do I want to become when I'm an old man?

Operational requirements- What broad goals do I need to attain in order to reach my overall objectives?

Tactical- What day-to-day skills must I develop, and what individual tasks do I need to accomplish in order to reach my goals?

To get where you want to be, you might give consideration to writing down daily, weekly, monthly, and even longer term objectives to check off when you finish them. If you focus on the daily stuff, at some point you look back at all the stuff that you accomplished and it may amaze you.

Lao-Tzu purportedly said: "Do the difficult things while they are easy and do the great things while they are small. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step."

Kindest wishes, man.

 

[Wesley R]

what directions our lives were headed. Things were so crustal clear.One of the best keyboard guys in the world or at least headed there at a meteoric rate (sidelined by issues), once told me that being in a band was a great part time job, and a cruddy way to make a full living.

Back in 1975, I was sitting on a grassy bank at St Cloud State (a college in Minnesota), next to a mighty fine young lady. The sun was shining and we were class free for the rest of the day, we determined right then and there what we would be doing for a living and the directions our lives would take. it was so apparent, so realistic. So.... we wnt to the bar.

 

[Curtbass]

Your playing and your hearing/understand of music is getting better. When your progress is faster in hearing and understanding than in playing it gives you this impression that you are not good. But it is the opposite. You found the problems. Now you can work on the solutions. I know old music teachers in jazz who think that they don't know anything. You are on the right way. Finish your college and get the diploma. That doesn't mean that you have to make a living with music.

This is spot on and I believe everyone goes through this at some point. Hang in there and things will balance themselves out.

 

[Winton]

Recently I've been to push myself out as this intermediate bassist when in reality I'm just a wannabe with a lack of rhythm. I might of had more rhythm in my high school band while playing with a pick but once I got out I started to lose it. What's worst is as a result after going through a long phase of getting a new bass as a patch up from wanting a Jazz bass to a short scale I am beginning to realized it me and my lack of passion for bass beyond making money in music only cuz I don't believe in good at much else. Now I am majoring in music in college and I feel it's a waist cuz the very instrument that I play I suck at. At this point I've lost my way and I don't know whether to just move to a less physically demanding instrument, go back into beats and production or just hang it up keep this as a hobby and do something else worth while in college which I'll tell you is not much I mean yeah I'm good at history but that's about it. All my way has been lost

Hey man, I totally know how you feel from reading what you wrote and how you wrote it.
We all tend to be our own worse critic but there is the reality that there are TONS of incredible players out there. There are even ones who aren't pro that are damn good!

As a young music major, we usually have role models and ideal paths that we aspire to. Gradually, as @Pilgrim mentioned, we all have to struggle with where we are going. If you keep walking, you'll eventually find your way; and it can be completely different from where you thought you were going (even if you'll eventually work in music). At 17, I was a tuba major (but learned bass in high school), then added a composition double major, then went into composition for my masters, then began freelancing as a choral vocalist in the Bay Area, came back to Japan, then decided to pick up the bass guitar again to get better at it. I'm on my 5th year of "reviving" as a bassist. I'm constantly reminded that I'm not as good "as those other players" and would be much better in demand as a vocalist but I love playing bass. I love getting better at my own pace. HOWEVER, I got down on myself with my lack of discipline and being at a higher performance level throughout my collegiate career. Gradually though, I began accepting myself, my skill level (at that time), and my place.

What has helped me is to be in the moment during my development and to enjoy the process.
Best advice I learned from my opera singer teacher.

 

[Jalen Fuller]

Music is a tough way to make a living. If indeed you are not naturally gifted in music it's even harder. I know several musicians who are super talented, some better than those who "made it", and they're still living with mom and pop, playing low paying local gigs and giving lessons. Some freely admit they wish they would have chosen a better career.

Do yourself a big favor, major in a field that has good income potential and job openings (medical, accounting, computers, engineering, etc.) or just go to trade school (you can't off-shore plumbers, electricians, car mechanics, welders, etc.)

Music is a great hobby, but for most who have it as their profession it's a frustrating, low paying career.

I did always like science since I was younger but fell out of it due to the teachers in high school not really captivating me but at one point I had my major as nursing but then changed it to music and now I'm like should I have stayed the course?

 

[NathOBX]

I don't suck when playing with a pick but when it's comes to fingers I still suck after a few months of practice

Keep practicing. We all have times where we feel like we suck and just wanna give up. I got frustrated with plateauing when I was your age and stopped taking it seriously for 20 years. Its one of my biggest regrets.

 

[stringthrough]

I did always like science since I was younger but fell out of it due to the teachers in high school not really captivating me but at one point I had my major as nursing but then changed it to music and now I'm like should I have stayed the course?

Nursing is a great career. Pay is decent, job security is pretty high and it can be very rewarding... And during down time you can play the bass to your heart's content.

 

[Jalen Fuller]

Bro how long have you used the pick vs playing fingerstyle?

All 4 years pick and few months fingers

 

[Jalen Fuller]

Unless you are really, really good and have good connections, you aren't going to make money in the music industry.

I'm going to go against the grain here and suggest that you seriously consider moving on from music and finding something you are passionate about. To be really good takes incredible discipline, hours of practice and a lot of sacrifice. It's not something you do because you aren't good at anything else. You really seem all over the place, one day wanting to play string bass, the next wanting a short scale bass. There are about a million things out there that you could do. Don't waste time doing something you don't love, take that time to find something you do love.

I love music but I think it's something I'm not really meant to do like you said I'm all over the place which might be a good reason for me to take up a career that allows me to be all over the place like this especially with this adhd I have

 

[bassinflorida]

Bah! Just go out and buy some old Latin 45's or download some old very simple latin tunes that you may have never liked before. Or just some early Motown or Detroit music stuff. You will hear rhythymic, instrumental and vocal harmonies. Listen to it. Learn some of it. Use a lot of it. It may bring back a missing feel.
Beats Production Machine? Why bother. No really? Why bother?

 

[TheLowDown33]

Jalen, I think I can offer some decent advice as a recent graduate in my early 20's. I did not major in music, but instead engineering. I've been working full time as an engineer for about 3 years now. Up until recently I was very envious of my peers who studied music and are currently having a go in the music industry because they were doing what I wish I was doing instead of sitting at a desk in a job that I'm not nearly as passionate about. But you know what I'm even more passionate about than music? Living comfortably.

Man I wish I could be recording, practicing and gigging all day, but the reality is that success in music more resembles what is known as a Pareto distribution, where the top 20% of musicians get 80% of the work, roughly speaking. What this means is that being average, or even above average, is still not going to net you success on its own. I'm not in the 20%. Maybe you are or could be. Maybe I could be if I pushed myself every single day, but I'm not willing to sacrifice my health, relative financial security (and this was definitely reinforced with the current state of affairs) or relationships for a chance to be. That's the question you need to ask yourself and something that I think a lot of younger adults need to fully comprehend. Getting a degree is only part of the equation, and it sucks up a disproportionally large amount of resources to obtain and is no guarantee of success in the music industry.

To be clear, I'm not trying to dissuade you from studying music. I think about going back to school all the time for it, and maybe I will if I miraculously get a scholarship or the cost of schooling drops dramatically. All I'm suggesting is that life as a musician of any caliber is not luxurious, and you need to think on whether or not you're willing to do without those luxuries. Luckily you're young and very fresh in college. Take a break if you need to, gain perspective from people whos life you are seeking to emulate and make an informed decision.

 

[lfmn16]

I love music but I think it's something I'm not really meant to do like you said I'm all over the place which might be a good reason for me to take up a career that allows me to be all over the place like this especially with this adhd I have

Probably a good idea. I love art and always wanted to be an artist, just not bad enough to do all the hard work required to be good at it.

Frankly I think it shows intelligence and maturity to know when to cut your losses. Any simpleton can keep banging his head against a brick wall doing the same thing over and over again that doesn't work. I'm 62 years old. I was a full time musician in my youth, studied jazz bass, studied string bass, sold insurance, worked in a mail room at the Senate, worked as a certified financial planner, sold cars (worst job ever), performed pension planning, was an auditor at the Red Cross, probably other jobs I've forgotten. I found computer programming when I was 40 and my career took off. I doubled my salary in about 3 years. Just my long winded way of saying that you're a young man with your whole life in front of you. Try different things and you'll find your calling.

 

[stringthrough]

As long as you're seeking career advice, let me give you some that is unrelated to music but will prove immensely helpful; learn to write better.

Often the first impression we get about someone comes from how they write. Your writing is in need of improvement, especially in regards to grammar, sentence construction and content presentation.

There are so many resources that can help (books, writing forums, Youtube lessons, even studying how others write on a forum like this) that if you applied yourself for a few months you'd be writing at a much better level. You can't say that about playing an instrument.

Good luck!

 

[dmt]

You sure looked good enough in your video!

You talked about bass being physically demanding - which I agree, it can be. But I wonder, in what way is it physically demanding to you? Sore shoulder from reaching out to the frets by the nut? Hand or wrist problems (and if so, which hand)? Back problems?

If your instrument isn't set up to play easily, it can be rough on the hands. If you haven't already done so, get someone to do a setup on your bass. Also, consider playing with a lighter touch and lower setup and/or going with a lighter string gauge.

 

[JRA]

take up a career that allows me to be all over the place like this especially with this adhd I have

i like it that you are willing to be honest with yourself! with that alone: i think you'll get things sorted out.

the ADHD can interfere with your progress, but its effects are also blunted, even remedied some, by your attendance to music.

if you only continued music for the sake of helping to reduce the effect of your ADHD brain 'patterns' = a good reason to keep playing!

i'm thinking that playing music has helped you to 'focus' in a useful way. keep that going...even if you choose to pursue other things!

i enjoyed watching your performance video! good luck, jalen!