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If Basses Could Talk What Would They Say?

My only medium scale said:

“For years you acted like you were ashamed of me. You’d get drunk, pull me out of the closet,
Dress me up in that silk negligée and put that god-awful red lipstick on me when no one’s looking.
But since that new Medium Scale club opened up on TB, you want to take me out dancing”.

I replied:
“That’s nothing compared to what you did last month.
I asked you to pass me the lip balm, you passed me super glue instead.
I’m still not speaking to you!!!

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I ran an ad on Craigslist that read: “Talking Mustang Bass For Sale.”
Intrigued, a fellow TBer came by my house to check it out.

TBer: “So what makes you such a spectacular bass?” he asks my Mustang.

Mustang:
“I’ve led a full life,” the bass answers miraculously.
“I was crafted in China where I herded for an entire village.
Years later, I joined the mounted police force in New York and helped keep the city clean.
And now, I spend my days giving free bass lessons to underprivileged kids here in the hood.”

The TBer is flabbergasted, turns to me and asked,
“Why on earth would you want to get rid of such an incredible instrument?”
I say, “Because he’s a liar! He never did any of that!”

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