If Basses Could Talk What Would They Say?

[JimmyM]

Why do you always hold me against your crotch?

You think they don't like that?

 

[ialma]

"...let's hang out more pal, I'm bored to stay home "

 

[ialma]

"play-me-now-human!"

 

[Bassheart365]

Please spank me.

 

[Wisebass]

Have you ever heard of a shower?

Wise(b)ass

 

[7dollarbologna]

You suck.

 

[pcake]

wow, most of you have some mean basses!

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH WHAT AM I???!!! HOW HAVE I ACHIEVED SENTIENCE? KILL ME!!! PLEEEEAAAASSSE!!

 

[andykeating]

All basses would say "Stop slapping me!"

 

[whero]

"Did you hear that? Man, you gotta fire the drummer."

"See that Strat over there? He's rather highly strung."

"Wait. I'm a bass guitar? So you're the bass player? Damn. Nobody's going to notice me."

 

[Hues]

"No speak English."

 

[HazyMan]

"Keep your nails short all the time and be careful! The wood my body is made of is super sensitive and leaving marks on it is super easy and it hurts."

 

[Lowbrow]

“I sound better wearing rounds.”

 

[JohnDeereJack]

Mine would say: "Why do you insist on picking me up and wearing me on a Sunday morning while you're fresh out of bed and still naked?!"

Naked Sunday morning bass playing... aw yeah!

 

[39-Bassist]

Please put me in the hands of someone who can play and make me sound good.

 

[Yammybass]

We seem happy on these stands, but inside we are dying of loneliness. You only play Mr BTB, we are not just eye candy. Why can't we live in a case like the Fender P does? What happened to all the 5 strings? Are we next to disappear without a trace?

I laughed so hard I blew shot out my nose.

 

[dindinbre]

Clean me pliz

 

[DrayMiles]

I can’t make you any promises, but when everyone else is gone I’ll be there for you.

 

[Charlie Tuna]

"Please don't take me back to Guitar Center, it's not my fault! I just need a real setup, I promise. You don't know what it's like to be in there. Everybody slaps me around and there's guitar pollution everywhere...stairway to hell I tell ya, stairway to hell! Wait...WAIT...I'll wear the tort, I'll wear the tooooooorrrrrrrrrtttttttt."

 

[LostInSauce]

“Would it be asking too much to maybe wash your hands every once in a while ya filthy moron”

 

[Old Blastard]

You've got 12 of us in this room.
Play me or trade me.