If Basses Could Talk What Would They Say?

[Doctor Intrepid]

You're doesn't talk to you!? Wait til my bass hears about this. What a laugh!

 

[pglaser01]

“Ugh....again??? Is that ALL you think about?”

 

[Bruiser Stone]

Ouch! Easy with the Rotos!

 

[CatchaCuda]

"Plug it in. Use your fingers. Lighter touch. Now twist my knobs. Have you never done this before??"

 

[JimmyM]

If mine could talk, it would say, "Why am I talking? I'm an inanimate object."

 

[iagtrplyr]

"On behalf of all basses from the beginning of time and around the world, we'd like to request that you all STOP SLAPPING US!"

 

[somebrains]

Would you please cut a trussrod notch, and get inserts into this neck?

I also have the flu, so I'm just hallucinsting.

 

[vvvmmm]

"Simplify, use less effects, and don't play better lead than yer guitarists."

 

[packhowitzer]

put some pants on for crying out loud

 

[Gianni "Orlandez" Orlati]

... straighten my neck!

 

[Louie Cevasco]

My Coronado would say:

View attachment 3148793

“Please don’t leave me alone with this freak!!!”
“He keeps sticking his tongue in my f-hole.”

057912

I got one of those basses in a cherry burst. At one point it was "converted" to a fretless. Don't see many of those that often.

 

[Karlson541]

"I come in peace, take me to your leader"

 

[Lexy Bivens]

My Coronado would say:

View attachment 3148793

“Please don’t leave me alone with this freak!!!”
“He keeps sticking his tongue in my f-hole.”

057912

I spoke to the drums, the other 4 guitars, and 97 other instruments around here......
Shouldnt you have rhythm /or be able to SPELL IT W/O AUTOCORRECT by NOW?

NO you dumb witch that's the SEVENTH, you wanted the (5th,6th,8th,9th,2nd) fret.
YOU'RE ON THE WRONG STRING.

Just return me PLEASE! ! I dont want sent to the Studio/Bar of No Reruns!!!"
The theremin has told me.... Stories...

 

[gypsyfelon]

A Little Less Conversation a little more action baby!

 

[Lexy Bivens]

Get your fingers out of my G string!

There's a G string??? Hunh.
My RH does not acknowledge its existence outside of exercises

 

[red_rhino]

Play me.

 

[Lexy Bivens]

But, but, then HOW do you keep it from SLIDING OFF YOUR LEG, !! ?! !

ESP if you play between reg and classical hold, and switch back and forth?

Mine also says TAKE OFF THE HEADPHONES, LET'S BLOW OUT THE BASS IN THE SURROUND AND MAKE SURE THE ASS KICKERS IN THE SOFA ARE GOING FULL OUT,!!!!!

THEN it tells me to learn TERRIBLE songs just to annoy my husband, or that NO ONE ON EARTH understands why but me.

Now I'll blame the bass..

THE BASS MADE ME LEARN ABBA
AND TOM JONES
(secret huge Tom Jones fan back in my early 20s.never gave it up, but not as obsessed)

Get your fingers out of my G string!

put some pants on for crying out loud

 

[PianoOfDoom]

Something lewd about fingering

 

[Lexy Bivens]

For the LAST TIME, I am not a tint guitar. I'm a big ol bass. You CANNOT play me laying down on the dang couch.. Sit your lazy bum UP. IDC if everything hurts. I SAY PLAY, YOU MUST OBEY
Or I'll snap my G next time you down tune me and go back to standard E Tuning......... I'll cut a witch..
NOW SIT MONKEY, SIT

 

[BassmusM6674]

Why do you always hold me against your crotch?