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I'm such a great dad. "Then why do I feel sick?
- Thread starter sedan_dad
- Start date
As someone who is also a high school senior, I would be happy to have things half as good as your kid. If it doesn't hurt you financially and he is grateful, I see no reason not to get him a nice car.
Roy Vogt
Supporting Member
- Sep 20, 2000
- 4,433
- 537
- Disclosures
- Endorsing Artist: Kiesel Basses, Ampeg Amplification, Hotone Ampero II effects
If you're emotionally attached to your gear, enough that your feel sick to sell it, then don't burden your son with a car.
I agree with Roy and stumbo - it's great you're doing the best you can and making sacrifices for your son. Sounds like he has learned the lessons you taught him very well so far.
I recently replaced my college bound daughters 1997 Saab that had over 200k miles on it with a new Hyundai. She really needed a safe dependable car. I now have 2 daughters in college, and 3 car payments. Making ends meet is a bear. You're not alone in this struggle.
I recently replaced my college bound daughters 1997 Saab that had over 200k miles on it with a new Hyundai. She really needed a safe dependable car. I now have 2 daughters in college, and 3 car payments. Making ends meet is a bear. You're not alone in this struggle.
Just finishing putting my second kid through college--at 50k/year I say forget the car---college fund .
I funded my first suburban home (read: best school district) with upright bass sales. Painful to let my 1820 Prescott go!
I funded my first suburban home (read: best school district) with upright bass sales. Painful to let my 1820 Prescott go!
whoa, I drive a Honda Civic, a '97 with 130K on it. reliable and efficient
perfect car for college kid and my commute- I agree forget the car and go college fund
perfect car for college kid and my commute- I agree forget the car and go college fund
You clearly have a great kid and you want to show him, in a dramatic way, that you are very proud of him and all that he has accomplished. If that's what you want to do for your son, then you should do it.
He appears to have his head on straight. Do you think that a flashy new car is something he will feel comfortable with knowing what you had to sacrifice?
He's going to have a lot of accomplishments in life. How do you follow this one. Assuming that his post high school education costs are taken care of, something that he will really appreciate is some help when it comes time to buy a house.
He appears to have his head on straight. Do you think that a flashy new car is something he will feel comfortable with knowing what you had to sacrifice?
He's going to have a lot of accomplishments in life. How do you follow this one. Assuming that his post high school education costs are taken care of, something that he will really appreciate is some help when it comes time to buy a house.
A highschool graduate doesn't need a fancy car. Is that Honda Civic all his, or just one of yours that he uses? Big difference. If he owns it, no point at all in upgrading like that, I'm sure he'd modestly agree. If it isn't his, then getting him his own would be a great thing of you to do.
hard work is his own reward, if you got him his first car the upgrades are on him.
it will make him a better kid.
keep your gear.
it will make him a better kid.
keep your gear.
You're meeting all his needs. Working for and earning the cool car will make it mean more. I don't want to tell you what to do with your money and your kids, but my first car meant a lot more to me because I bought it.
Someone who wants to be a good parent often second-guesses himself because he cares about the outcome. Is giving your son a new(er) car rewarding him for his hard work & good grades, or is it spoiling him because he didn't have to earn it?
Will he understand & appreciate the gesture, or just run the thing into the ground without ever checking the oil or other fluids? All hard questions parents have to deal with. Good parents just care about making the right decision, and sometimes you don't know if it's the right decision til much (sometimes even years) later.
Will he understand & appreciate the gesture, or just run the thing into the ground without ever checking the oil or other fluids? All hard questions parents have to deal with. Good parents just care about making the right decision, and sometimes you don't know if it's the right decision til much (sometimes even years) later.
I'm sure you already feel this way. When we had our two girls, suddenly gear became less important, as did gigs. I play when it fits into the rest of my life. And I own enough gear to get the job done. I have let some go, but not because we really needed the money. But because my priorities changed. In fact, I gave some gear to kids just starting out. (One lucky little bastard got STARTED with a '76 P bass.) I wasn't playing four rigs and seven basses. I was playing with my kids and doing a few shows a month. No need for stacks of stuff that sits in the corner in a case.
By the way, I am in NO WAY trying to say that any dad who owns a metric ton of gear is any less of a dad. That's not my point at all. It's was just a shift in my life. And I was just trying to convey to the OP that he probably won't regret doing what he is doing.
There's nothing in this world like a good kid. You are blessed. But, again, you already know that. You have to make your own call on the gear. But I don't think regret will follow either way.
By the way, I am in NO WAY trying to say that any dad who owns a metric ton of gear is any less of a dad. That's not my point at all. It's was just a shift in my life. And I was just trying to convey to the OP that he probably won't regret doing what he is doing.
There's nothing in this world like a good kid. You are blessed. But, again, you already know that. You have to make your own call on the gear. But I don't think regret will follow either way.
I'm probably the worst dad in the world, judging by this thread!
Got 5 kids, 2 grandkids.
Want a car? Go and buy one. No money? Go and earn it. Want a car loan? Isn't gonna happen - pay cash.
Want to go to college? No problem - get good grades, and find a full-ride scholarship. Don't qualify for that? Then you probably shouldn't be going to college...
The kids will get exactly what we got from our parents - some great lessons in life. Such as, there's no such thing as 'free'..
Got 5 kids, 2 grandkids.
Want a car? Go and buy one. No money? Go and earn it. Want a car loan? Isn't gonna happen - pay cash.
Want to go to college? No problem - get good grades, and find a full-ride scholarship. Don't qualify for that? Then you probably shouldn't be going to college...
The kids will get exactly what we got from our parents - some great lessons in life. Such as, there's no such thing as 'free'..
I learned so much from owning a beater, I don't think I could have done without the education it provided me.
If it makes you feel sick, there will be another way to reward your son. You just have to think about it.
I wouldn't have wanted my father to sacrifice lifelong possessions he loved just to buy me something shiny that would wear out in a few years.
If it makes you feel sick, there will be another way to reward your son. You just have to think about it.
I wouldn't have wanted my father to sacrifice lifelong possessions he loved just to buy me something shiny that would wear out in a few years.
Congratulations, to the both of you. I will not answer your question, because it is too personal. It sounds like you have raised a fine young man. You made decisions, some good, and maybe some that were not as good. You know your son, you know yourself. This is just another decision. Do what you feel is a good decision. Heck... you've done ok without me so far.
