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Insufferable Band Member(s)

#161
31HZ said:
And if that doesn't do the job?

It was already mentioned that firing him wasn't an option.

What's Plan B? And then Plan C when that doesn't work?

I guess we could just go onto a forum and spew 3rd-grade drama about "ignore lists" if Plan D doesn't work. ;)
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Try being a grown up. Firing is ALWAYS an option. Sometimes solutions aren't handed to you wrapped up with a pretty bow, you have to actually think to come up with one. ;)

Sorry putting people on my ignore list leaves you hurt, but don't worry I've got you covered.

butt hurt cream.jpg
 
#162
Lowandfat said:
I'd like to thank all of you who are OK with exploiting the handicap of a blind person to "teach them a lesson" for showing me who to block with one post. Un. Real.
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From the story told, a) there was no joy in having gotten to the point where such correction was needed; b) other corrective measures had already been tried; c) they deliberately chose to not fire him because they knew that the consequences to his life would be too great; d) they knew to involve the person closest to him; e) he was at no time in any danger; f) the lesson seems to have stuck.

It is BECAUSE of his handicap (and how the band's empathy for his situation factored into their actions) actually, that he was able to get away with his behavior. Was that wrong of the blind person, and does this factor into the outrage?

Sometimes a decision of action that looks wrong from a quick glance on the outside is actually an act of deliberate compassion, arrived at over a long period of contemplation, trial-and-error, and experience.

BTW, I'd be overjoyed to make anyone's "ignore list," so don't forget to let me know. :cool:
 
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#164
PDW30 said:
Tell us - I'm prepared to take the chance. In this case I suggest we suspend the 'no picture, didn't happen' rule.
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Just a few I can think of:

Castor oil in the whiskey bottle deters people from sneaking a drink from someone else's bottle.
Replacing the whiskey with urine does much the same but faster.
Limburger cheese on the trombone mouthpiece.
Itchy powder
In one band they kept dropping little bags of sand into the bass through the F holes - one day the bass player says "man, I need to go to the doctor - I can't even hardly carry my bass any more"...
The famous Joe Venuti trick of peeing on a guy's leg to make him let you through to the bar
Don't ever call Mingus a racial epithet, or you'd better watch out for the fire axe.
But Tommy Dorsey would smack you in the face for pretty much no reason at all.
The Buddy Rich bus tapes - nuff said

To finish off, a blind story - George Shearing needed a ride somewhere, so someone leads him to the back seat of a car. As he gets in, he hears from the driver's seat Rahsaan Roland Kirk ask him "Hey George, where do you want to go?" and Lennie Tristano from the other seat says "Is it on the way to my hotel?" They said they never say anyone get out of a car so fast.
 
#165
turf3 said:
Just a few I can think of:

Castor oil in the whiskey bottle deters people from sneaking a drink from someone else's bottle.
Replacing the whiskey with urine does much the same but faster.
Limburger cheese on the trombone mouthpiece.
Itchy powder
In one band they kept dropping little bags of sand into the bass through the F holes - one day the bass player says "man, I need to go to the doctor - I can't even hardly carry my bass any more"...
The famous Joe Venuti trick of peeing on a guy's leg to make him let you through to the bar
Don't ever call Mingus a racial epithet, or you'd better watch out for the fire axe.
But Tommy Dorsey would smack you in the face for pretty much no reason at all.
The Buddy Rich bus tapes - nuff said

To finish off, a blind story - George Shearing needed a ride somewhere, so someone leads him to the back seat of a car. As he gets in, he hears from the driver's seat Rahsaan Roland Kirk ask him "Hey George, where do you want to go?" and Lennie Tristano from the other seat says "Is it on the way to my hotel?" They said no one ever got out of a car so fast before.
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#166
31HZ said:
From the story told, a) there was no joy in having gotten to the point where such correction was needed; b) other corrective measures had already been tried; c) they deliberately chose to not fire him because they knew that the consequences to his life would be too great; d) they knew to involve the person closest to him; e) he was at no time in any danger; f) the lesson seems to have stuck.

It is BECAUSE of his handicap (and how the band's empathy for his situation factored into their actions) actually, that he was able to get away with his behavior. Was that wrong of the blind person, and does this factor into the outrage?

Sometimes a decision of action that looks wrong from a quick glance on the outside is actually an act of deliberate compassion, arrived at over a long period of contemplation, trial-and-error, and experience.

BTW, I'd be overjoyed to make anyone's "ignore list," so don't forget to let me know. :cool:
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I guess if he were a sighted person, they would have run out of options and been stuck.

Sorry, no defending that sort of crap.
 
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#168
51PRI said:
So what's the point? You book a gig and bring "4 to 5 people" you won't get rebooked.

I like playing music that I like but not if the band can't be successful doing it.
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It was hyperbole on my part. We haven't actually gigged much due to Covid, so we haven't built much of a following. We did one gig with an amazing turnout, one gig with an amazingly disappointing turnout (which was on the venue, not us: if you book a band from a different country, on a Sunday afternoon, at least do some advertising amongst your regular crowd) and some gigs that fell in between.

But for the type of music we play and the kind of places we would try to book ourselves, I would much rather face the option of having few people there - and a potential no for rebookings - than sell my soul and play music I simply do not enjoy playing. I have a job that pays the bills.
 
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#169
Music remains my vocation, and I still don't take gigs that suck. Sure, I'll lump through a night filling in for a friend's band here and there, but again, this is for people that I LIKE. Playing music I don't like with people I don't like is not really an option in my world. I'll go make pizza again, lol. The car show gig I posted earlier in the thread was brutal, but the band/dancers were FUN people. We laughed our arses off 12hrs a day for 3 weeks. Was playing the same refrain of Celebration for 10 minutes straight all day musically fulfilling? Of course not, but we were tight as the proverbial ant's tush, everybody on that stage stuck every dance move like they were presenting to Olympic judges, and we all had fun with it. Performing to any crowd with presence and focus, with your professional peers, should ALWAYS be fun.

I have more than one friend that do pit band gigs for youth productions, because everybody always brings their A-Game for the kids, and the charts can be quite challenging. They make a couple bucks, and they get to play on a highly rehearsed level with their friends once or twice a year.

Being so jaded to the art of performance, as some are in this thread, is tragic.
 
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#170
Amongst people I know/play with, the choice seems to be...after a while...
can i really want to take any gig because its work..as opposed to turn down any gig because I dont think it will be any good and I'm jaded.

Trying to keep the enthusiasm up is tough.
Most of the most miserable players are the ones charging around all over trying to get that one big paying function which constitutes over half their weekly income.

Even the young flyers really appreciated the fun blast with good players, rock up an 1hr before start time, and can be in their car 30mins after it ended.

They make sure you know you can call them because its a different vibe..
 
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#171
EddiePlaysBass said:
...for the type of music we play and the kind of places we would try to book ourselves, I would much rather face the option of having few people there - and a potential no for rebookings - than sell my soul and play music I simply do not enjoy playing. I have a job that pays the bills.
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I have a job that pays the bills too. That doesn't change the fact that when I play out I want it to be successful. I have no interest in playing a show of all music that we (the Band) like but nobody shows up to hear, or, if there is a crowd we can't hold them. But I don't want to sell my soul, either. Isn't there some middle ground between selling your soul, i.e. playing every tired *** song in the world, or being so eclectic that nobody knows any of the songs that you play? A band at most venues is really a beer salesman, so keeping folks in the seats is a primary goal.
 
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#172
51PRI said:
I have a job that pays the bills too. That doesn't change the fact that when I play out I want it to be successful. I have no interest in playing a show of all music that we (the Band) like but nobody shows up to hear, or, if there is a crowd we can't hold them. But I don't want to sell my soul, either. Isn't there some middle ground between selling your soul, i.e. playing every tired *** song in the world, or being so eclectic that nobody knows any of the songs that you play? A band at most venues is really a beer salesman, so keeping folks in the seats is a primary goal.
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I am pretty sure there is a lot of middle ground in between the two extremes.

I also want the band I play in to be successful and draw a crowd.

But I know which types of bands / repertoires are just not right for me, so I will not join them.

Your mileage may vary, and that's perfectly alright for me.
 
#173
51PRI said:
I have a job that pays the bills too. That doesn't change the fact that when I play out I want it to be successful. I have no interest in playing a show of all music that we (the Band) like but nobody shows up to hear, or, if there is a crowd we can't hold them. But I don't want to sell my soul, either. Isn't there some middle ground between selling your soul, i.e. playing every tired *** song in the world, or being so eclectic that nobody knows any of the songs that you play? A band at most venues is really a beer salesman, so keeping folks in the seats is a primary goal.
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A loooong time ago I was playing at a social meeting in somebody's house. I was second on after a guy who was a good acoustic guitarist/singer. Good, but not up for it that night - no energy, and the people were chatting as he played. I went up front with my anglo concertina and started into my first trad song, probably something from AL Lloyd. And they stopped talking and listened. To me. I got a feeling that's difficult to get any other way.
I don't think I'll ever be good enough at bass to get the same effect, but I'll go on practicing!
 
#175
chris1327 said:
I love the diversity of viewpoints on these threads, and I’d love to learn about the strategies (or coping mechanisms?) for dealing with difficult band members. Do you ever choose to stay in a band with a member that you just find insufferable?
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It's very simple. By definition, you cannot suffer an insufferable person. That's why they're "insufferable". I might be willing to try - if the money was sufficient. Or, if it was a case of "suck it up, sunshine - or lose your job". But, other than that? The insufferable person goes their way - and I go mine. Otherwise, I might be tempted to make that person... well, suffer... and that wouldn't be good - for either of us. Unless I absolutely had no other choice? Life's too short - especially at my age - to try to put up with an insufferable person...:cool:
 
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#176
I love the guy, but I had a bandmate that was insufferable at gigs. Most of it stemmed from his use of a Pink Noise Generator. It never failed to piss off bar staff and make patrons leave. I got to the point I would leave the place until it was safe to come back.
 
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#177
I was in a band years ago with a singer who had a massive ego problem and wanted to be in charge of everything as well as being the front man. In a fairly short time, the whole band split up and he went on to join a very big name band for some tours and a couple of albums.But eventually even they couldn’t stand him any longer and he got the push in very undignified style when he turned up at the studio to start work on another album and got introduced to his own replacement. I confess to laughing really hard about this when I found out.
 
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#178
BassyBill said:
I was in a band years ago with a singer who had a massive ego problem and wanted to be in charge of everything as well as being the front man. In a fairly short time, the whole band split up and he went on to join a very big name band for some tours and a couple of albums.But eventually even they couldn’t stand him any longer and he got the push in very undignified style when he turned up at the studio to start work on another album and got introduced to his own replacement. I confess to laughing really hard about this when I found out.
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Can you name the guy or the big name band?
 

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