Interactions with your bandmates... Friends? Or just Work?

[glocke1]

I think I replied already but if not...

Overall it's two fold...it's work, but also a way for me to get out and socialize. A busy work schedule and living far from almost everything makes it difficult to get out, so going out to rehearse or play a gig is actually my way of socializing.

That said, almost all of the people I play with have different interests than myself outside of the band.

Examples:
Im a bit of a fitness nut, so since almost everyone I play music with doesn't do much in their ofttimes except party, I stay away since I don't want that lifestyle to interfere with my fitness goals.

Politics: My politics tend to be vastly different than most of the people I play music with. Some of these folks are ok despite of that, however many more are very militant in their views which makes socializing outside of music out of the question.

Lastly, I've got other interests besides music so if Im not playing Im generally doing things like hiking or photography.

 

[devlavaca]

I'm sort of an introverted guy, for me the playing is the social part. I don't want to hang out with anyone for long otherwise. I do occasionally go out socially with band members, but only really to be agreeable and because they like hanging out, but I'd rather skip it and it has no reflection on the people in the band really. I'd quit a band where I was expected to expend hours and hours just hanging out and doing nothing.

100% the same. I really like the guys in my band — they're probably my best friends — but what I like is making music together. I'm happy to have that be the way we connect with each other.

 

[EricMordus]

I've had a few different experiences on either side of this coin.
10 years in an all original band where we became pretty tight, and seemed to be friends (a trio). However, when it came to pass that I made the decision to leave, that was pretty much the end of that relationship. Lesson learned..

Fast forward to my first cover-band after that band: started out as a bunch of "friends" who all met at a private jam we all attend... band direction deviated from where it began (and I realized I wasn't the best fit in that direction, so no real shock) but it ended badly due to 2 band members showing their snake-ish colors. (look, some people are just like that, sometimes it can even be you, so be aware of who you are in the band and try not to be "that guy")

Did a couple of "hired gun" gigs and it was a PLEASURE! Did my job, made some friends in the process, and really sharpened some skills.

Now, in a new cover band, and loving the way we've gelled, so far we have 1 gig under our belt that was practically the perfect gig... so, lets see.. Onward & upwards

 

[Big Hoss]

Back in the day, when I was in a band, we were all friends. We hung out, wives got to know each other.. It was more than a band, it was a social event, a circle of friends if you will.

That is what I was always used to. Band events, and non-band events, we all hung out. To me, it made the experience all the more fun.

My current band, I've been in for 8+ years. A few lineup changes, but myself and the guitarist have been the constants for those 8 years. All original, good stuff. But I have noticed that we all don't socialize. I mean we get along, but it seems to be business only. It's just strange to me. I am used to the friendships, the camaraderie. This outfit? Meh.

We practice, play shows, socialize well enough at those times, but when there is no show, no practice, there is NO interaction at all. I was on vacation for a week and then had a trade show to attend the following week.. The amount of interaction?? One text. "We practicing?" Straight-forward answers to said text and that was it. NO whazzup, general talk, nothing.

As I said earlier, it is just strange to me. Every band I was in prior, it was like "Band of Brothers".. This is not anywhere close.

Even though it's been 8 years and walking away is hard after so much invested.. the lack of "banter" if you will, takes a lot of the fun out of it for me. Makes you feel like a hired hand.

And since we are all original and make dreck - a hired hand?? Bwhahahaha

Just curious how others interact. I imagine every scenario is different.

My band isn't one that often gigs, it really is just a group of friends / family that has fun making music...

I occasionally do a blues quartet with some of my coworkers, but again, it's a friendly thing, we just happen to work together in our day jobs...

The P&W gig I fill in for is at a church that, again is friends. I think we are the oldest P&W team in the metro area...

I was in a band a long time ago (early 2000s) that was just about gigging, working blah blah blah. Hated the experience.

I don't have to make my living with music, if I did I'd probably starve, but notwithstanding that, unless I HAD to make my living with music, one of my requirements is that the band / jam mates are friends first, and the band is far in the back. If it's adding stress, it HAS to go...