I need to frame that and hang it on my wall. I'm somewhere between 2/3 and 3/3 now (with the least of the 3 criteria being money). I'm the day job type like many here, but elements of all 3 criteria exist in my band life.
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Interactions with your bandmates... Friends? Or just Work?
- Thread starter DanBass
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I need to frame that and hang it on my wall. I'm somewhere between 2/3 and 3/3 now (with the least of the 3 criteria being money). I'm the day job type like many here, but elements of all 3 criteria exist in my band life.
Depends on the band. I've been in bands were we're all best buddies and hang out all the time, to the extreme where I don't interact at all with the band other than rehearsals, gigs, and emails regarding said rehearsals/gigs (e.g. time, place, setlist, etc).
That said, our last band ended when we replaced the vocalist (who left because he was having a baby and going to get a MBA degree on night schools so no more time for band) with someone who was more compentent singer but was not as good a fit to the personal side of the band. The band dynamics/ambience changed, and suddendly nobody was as interested as before on getting a new gig.
(did have some good gigs before disbanding though - the new guy had a good voice for the style).
That said, our last band ended when we replaced the vocalist (who left because he was having a baby and going to get a MBA degree on night schools so no more time for band) with someone who was more compentent singer but was not as good a fit to the personal side of the band. The band dynamics/ambience changed, and suddendly nobody was as interested as before on getting a new gig.
(did have some good gigs before disbanding though - the new guy had a good voice for the style).
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s0c9
Supporting Member
We would probably hang out more, but the nearest band member to me is 49 miles away.. makes socializing tough... and wives, etc. often go to gigs - of which we have 6-8 a month..lots of hang time on a Fri/Sat night between sets!
Very recognizable , nearly every comment.
I'm in a band were the 3 string players , including me as a bass player ,play and know each other for 15 + years (1 even is my brother
)
When we play with the 3 of us, it's all chemicals, it just doesn't matter if the rythem pattern exists, we play it, by feel ! The drummer still has diffeculties with that.
In another band I was playing, we were total strangers but never really got to know each other. To me, in the end, for the feel of the music it's goddamn crucial!
I'm in a band were the 3 string players , including me as a bass player ,play and know each other for 15 + years (1 even is my brother
) When we play with the 3 of us, it's all chemicals, it just doesn't matter if the rythem pattern exists, we play it, by feel ! The drummer still has diffeculties with that.
In another band I was playing, we were total strangers but never really got to know each other. To me, in the end, for the feel of the music it's goddamn crucial!
There are creative differences. They are all nice people. None of them have screwed me over. So all good right?
I played in a band for over 25 years; two of the members and I were together the whole time. We were on friendly terms with each other throughout the life of the band. Had we tried to be best buddies, I think we may all have been dead by now.
it's been almost 2 years, no problems... just drummer issues, but that guy don't work with us!
Big Hoss
Up note, down note, blue note, brown note...
- Sep 5, 2014
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Firstly, thanks to all for the insight and experiences. I really appreciate it. The age factor and responsibility factor is huge, good point.. Available time is a precious commodity at this point in the game. Long gone are the carefree days (if I only knew how carefree they were) when I was 18-22.. replaced by the now. And you know, that is ok. I guess I just miss those days a bit.
I'm in two bands right now. I get along great with my Band mates. We all interact well for rehearsal and gigs. No Drama.
But it's not the buddy's for life thing. That was more in my teens and twenty's, kind of a thing. We all have a life outside of music. Wife's kids, other interests.
But it's not the buddy's for life thing. That was more in my teens and twenty's, kind of a thing. We all have a life outside of music. Wife's kids, other interests.
- Jun 6, 2012
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Pretty much the same for me and I'm totally cool with it.......... but I'm a dogone recluse, so what do I know?
I personally would truly dislike being a "hired hand". My band is more like a band of brothers, were very close and have been friends since high school. We have a thread going on our facebook messenger where we basically just chat amongst each other every day and joke around. There are pros and cons to this though. It would make it difficult to replace a member for one thing and sometimes its hard to get work done when we just want to talk or goof around. Still, I wouldn't have it any other way. Just don't forget, to make friends be a friend! Also, a lot people are mentioning that as they get older it gets harder to have that social life. I'm just on the cusp of this as I am recently married and buying a house. Even with all the stress of a family, career, and home ownership, I make time for the band. Everybody needs some type of stress relief, mine is my friends and the band were in. Now once I have kids we'll see if that changes! 
you know...8 years is a long time. Your relationship is bound to change. It might even be a little necessary to concentrate on the music and make the conscious decision to not put energy into the friendship part in order to let the music part thrive sometimes. And vice versa!
But you know, if the music isn't good you just probably won't enjoy yourself. Stay with the band. Things go in cycles. There will come a time again when you hang out more and the friendship side will flourish.
But you know, if the music isn't good you just probably won't enjoy yourself. Stay with the band. Things go in cycles. There will come a time again when you hang out more and the friendship side will flourish.
My mates and I are all in the 37-50 range with seperate lives and responsibilities, and I'm nowhere near good enough to just be a hired gun. Pretty sure they picked me as their bass player cuz of my magnetic personality 
, & we'll all go see other bands together that we like or want to check out, occasionally have dinner at the drummers, or grab a coffee or adult beverage if I'm in their neighborhood.
, & we'll all go see other bands together that we like or want to check out, occasionally have dinner at the drummers, or grab a coffee or adult beverage if I'm in their neighborhood.
Can't blame you there. Turned one band down right off the bat due to them not being able to hold off on smoking dope even during the short time they auditioned me. Guess it might be different if I smoked it myself, but no thanks.
