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Issues w Same-Sex (gay) wedding gigs

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#62
I think subs could be the answer, and I would definitely be interested in playing these gigs if I were in a position to do so. Any instrument I can play, any genre of music. Weddings can be great gigs, and because of the way our laws have been and the way they are in flux I speculate that same-sex partners are people who really want to get married. They are really happy to be there celebrating their wedding. No shotgun weddings, no reasons for marriage other than desire to be a couple. On average, I'd say that means more fun and better times.

Plus, I'd absolutely love to play a little ZZ Top and sing, "Every dude's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man!" You could make the gig a total blast!
 
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#63
Maybe if you approached your bandmates along the lines of... Jesus himself would hang with the whores and sinners because those are who needed his help and influence most...

On second thought, being that one of those band members has a microphone, this is a very very very bad idea. Please don't do this.
 
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#65
So, it's going to be TrollBass today is it? Not you OP, I can empathize with your position, but lots of us seem to be taking your thread to dangle tasty bait in the waters hoping someone will bite...tsk tsk, we have enough stuff we can have 'religious' wars about (flats v rounds, tube v SS, etc. etc.) that we don't need to be borrowing from mainstream religion.

That said...

Leave the band, you've made it clear they can't be replaced, so if you don't want to be associated with their attitudes and bigotry, then you have to distance yourself from them. If you aren't willing to do that, what advice can we possibly give you? If you won't leave, and you won't replace them then you just have to deal. There is nothing you're going to glean from this thread which is going to make those bigots see reason.

And for the rest of you lot, there is nothing you can post here which is going to make a whit of difference to those who post that tasty bait you just can't resist chomping down on...diminishing returns people, let this thread die.
 
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#66
Easy to say just replace them. But not that easy in reality. This is a paycheck for me, pays bills, feeds kids, etc. I would thinks folks in a Band Management forum might have a little understanding of that. Its also not my band. I'm a hired sideman and I'm paid well for it, but I don't have final say in anything. I'm told where to be, when, and what it pays. Then, if I take the gig I'm told what to play. I'm a working musician, that's what I do. I didn't get where I am by making noise, so I'm probably not going to start now. I just don't want to lose these gigs if possible.

Another thing. The folks who are opposed are not bigots. This is just their religous beliefs. They dont actively hate on any one, they are respectfull. They just don't want to take active part in these types of events. I think you gotta respect that.
 
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#67
RustyAxe said:
I won't play the gig because I don't want to play the gig. That makes me a "bigot" by the liberal thinker's standards.

That's pure BS, and you know it ... there's a whole generation of Americans who have forgotten the 1st Amendment ... which is, in its essence, toleration and protection of ALL opinions. So you might not want me in your band ... I probably don't want to be there, anyway. But I will NOT cede my right to believe and to act according to my beliefs.
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No one is telling you what you can or can't think...I'm not sure you understand the 1st amendment. Also, having an opinion that differs from yours shouldn't automatically label someone a liberal...
 
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#69
Soooo to attempt to get off the religion topic and bring it to something less pointed, I'll play Devil's Advocate here on this scenario...

I've run into this issue a few times, but this was related to the venue as well, so this is more related than people just bashing someone's morals/beliefs/prerogative. Several bands wanted to play bars, as in places where the only focus was to get drunk or consume a large amount of alcohol. Now when I was in recovery (and I still adhere to this today) I didn't wish to play these types of venues. Lots of bar gigs in Texas and arguably it would be the right business decision to go with them. I don't have anything against someone else consuming alcohol, but whether or not I want to involve myself in this is something I reserve the right to turn down. If a restaurant or club has a bar that's fine, but a horde of people getting drunk as a skunk is just too much for me. I'm not condemning people for doing this, I just don't want to be around it.

Perhaps it's just a topic that they don't want to get tied up in or don't want involvement. Whether or not something is legalized doesn't mean that any social issues have completely fizzled out. I'm speaking out of assumption, but anything that is a hot topic I would rather just not be a part of. If they legalized pot and had a hookah bar that wanted live music, I would probably just steer clear even though I don't have any issues with someone smoking pot. To the OP though, if you don't like your bandmates then I suggest you assemble or join a group that is on the same page as you....simple as that. People have different views and it's no reason to crucify them because you disagree. From a business point of view, just look elsewhere...doesn't need to become some bashfest.
 
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#71
RustyAxe said:
I won't play the gig because I don't want to play the gig. That makes me a "bigot" by the liberal thinker's standards.

That's pure BS, and you know it ... there's a whole generation of Americans who have forgotten the 1st Amendment ... which is, in its essence, toleration and protection of ALL opinions. So you might not want me in your band ... I probably don't want to be there, anyway. But I will NOT cede my right to believe and to act according to my beliefs.
Click to expand...

Damn friend, you sound bitter. I hope you can find peace as the world continues to progress forward.
 
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#72
If bandmembers don't want to play particular gig that is within their rights for whatever reason they choose. If they don't want to play gay gigs, so what? There are gigs we would all turn down based on a belief that other people would gladly play.

Looks to me like your options are either not to book gay gigs or to get players who want to play them. Choose one of these options and move on.
 
#74
I'm a Christian. I'm am not a homophobe. I'm getting tired of Christians using the church as a springboard to exhibit their anti-gay ageda. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a proponent of same sex relationships. However Jesus Christ doesn't judge me.....so how am I allowed to pass jusdgement on some else. In fact, Jesus would/will love them (gay couple) the same as he loves me. Jesus wasn't into discrimination. He flocked to people who were rejects of society. I have no idea how certain Christians feel that they can discriminate in the name of the church. Perhaps you should tell your band mates to re-read the bible....especially Phillipians.
 
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#75
If they knew the nature of the gig when they signed on to do it they must handle it as any pro/ semi pro musician should with grace and decorum.
If as a group you agree not do same sex gigs, then say you are not open when called and that's that.
If they gladly take the cash, but express their displeasure with the life style kick their butts to the curb!
 
#76
RustyAxe said:
I won't play the gig because I don't want to play the gig. That makes me a "bigot" by the liberal thinker's standards.

That's pure BS, and you know it ... there's a whole generation of Americans who have forgotten the 1st Amendment ... which is, in its essence, toleration and protection of ALL opinions. So you might not want me in your band ... I probably don't want to be there, anyway. But I will NOT cede my right to believe and to act according to my beliefs.
Click to expand...

I think you need to re-read the First Amendment. Hit up the 14th while you're there.

Here, I'll give you a TL;DR of the past hundred years or so of civil rights - you have the right to believe whatever you want, but you've never had the unrestricted right to act on those beliefs.
 
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#78
zac2944 said:
...Remember, it wasn't long ago that restaurants would hang a sign in the window saying people of a certain skin color or ethnicity were not allowed. How is this any different
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With close family friends who experienced this, their response would be "I cannot walk into a restaurant and not be black". Sure they cannot hold a wedding and conceal their sexual preference, but I don't think we're talking about the same situation here. This a forum, but I would tread lightly with that comparison if you are around someone of certain races with a history of discrimination.
 
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#79
zac2944 said:
I've been working in corp/party/wedding bands almost exclusively for the past 10 year, and in the last few I'm now working more and more same-sex wedding gigs. Makes since now that these marriages have have been legalized.

I'm cool with this and see it as an untapped market. Most of these events have been high dollar productions that pay well and appreciate live music.

In one of my current gigs I've got a few religious band members who have issues with being a part of such an event. I've kept my mouth shut for the most part, but not sure if I can stand by and say nothing in these situations any longer.

My reasons are: 1-It's my paycheck!, and 2-We are a business and a business can't (and shouldn't) discriminate. Remember, it wasn't long ago that restaurants would hang a sign in the window saying people of a certain skin color or ethnicity were not allowed. How is this any different.

Not sure how to best handle this. People are allowed there own personal discrimitation and I respect that, but not a business. At the same time, I like these folks in the band and they are very good and required as they are the male and female lead singers. There is a lot of pressure to not take these gigs from the religious two, and the rest of the band wants the cash.

Anyone else had to deal with this? Any ideas on how to best handle this situation?
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Replace them?
 
#80
RustyAxe said:
Seems to me either someone compromises, or someone quits the band. Personally, I don't think the number of gay marriage gigs you would miss warrant breaking up a band. Personally, I'd pass on the gig and tell ya to hire a sub for the event.

This thread is heading in exactly the direction I thought it would. The PC'ers MUST have it THEIR way. Funny how liberal thinkers lose their liberality when someone disagrees with them.
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Could be because "the PC'er's" seem to have a belief that no one should ever be denied the same rights as all other people. Some things are basic human rights. The right for an adult to marry the person they love, for example.
 
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