Issues w Same-Sex (gay) wedding gigs

[I am Soma]

This thread is heading in exactly the direction I thought it would. The PC'ers MUST have it THEIR way. Funny how liberal thinkers lose their liberality when someone disagrees with them.

so many ways to reply to this, but i'll leave it at you should stop before the thread goes way down hill and turns into personal attacks.

 

[PokeyPrasch]

Do they object to playing for other sinners too or just this specific sin?

Gigs are gonna be hard to come by, also does any of the music you play have immoral connotations? That should probably go too...

 

[unclebass]

This is the same idea as "if you don't like what's on, turn the channel." They absolutely have the right to voice their objections to playing certain gigs. You also have the right to replace them if you see fit to do so. Talk to them and find out how strong their religious convictions are, and let their answers guide your decision. You also have to ask yourself if you would play a gig for a political gathering if that party totally went against everything you believe. If you were an extreme liberal and Sarah Palin asked you to play a fund raiser, would you do it? In playing the gig, the public will likely associate your group as supporters of the cause. We all have the right to live and work based on our beliefs. If there is no owner of the band, then majority rules. Just be ready to replace them along with any equipment that may leave with them.

I agree with Rusty Axe, but get ready for the piling on. We all have the right to our beliefs, just so long as it is the same as theirs.

 

[AndyLES]

I'm gonna ignore the inane whining about mean ol' Libruls and focus on the issue at hand, lest this thread go downhill towards "locked" status very quickly.

If the band members want to raise a stink, let them do it in another band. If the band members in question want the right to turn down gigs based on their beliefs, then the OP has the right to fire them based on HIS. "Freedom of belief" is a two way street.

Hell, I'd fire these clowns simply for costing me business.

 

[AngryPig1]

It's a tough situation for sure. Personally I 'd actually seek a gig like this out - I love being around people different than myself to expand my horizons and see things through a different lens. These kind of experiences have been immeasurably valuable to me on many levels throughout my life. That being said, discrimination laws aside, I don't see why anyone should be forced to play a gig that they really feel uncomfortable with. A blunt conversation with them to see if they are open to putting their opinions aside and making the money, or if they just can't do this period is in order. Gay people being a major part of the audience is not even a factor for me or many others here I'm sure. But change it around to something that is important to you, and then how do you feel? So maybe you are a staunch Democrat, how would you feel about playing a "mission accomplished" party GWB threw for the "victory in Iraq"? Or his Birthday party? Or being the house band for some show on Fox news? What about a Hell's Angels convention? How about a Klan convention? Personally my line isn't drawn till we get to the Klan, that I just couldn't do, even if they are a legal entity that is allowed to have meetings. I'm not trying to draw a parallel between being gay and being a Klan member, all I'm saying is some people have very strong feelings about gay marriage. I don't get that, but as long as they aren't hurting anyone they have a right to be against it. Just like I can acknowledge the Klan can have meetings, I just wouldn't provide the entertainment there. The other obvious thing to me is, the people getting married probably wouldn't want them there anyway if they are that strongly against gay marriage.

I agree with most of your points here except for the fact the the Klan is a hate group. That would be my reason not for playing for them. They actively hate and discriminate against others based on ridiculous racial lines. Gay people do no such thing so refusing to play for them puts YOU on the wrong side. They arent refusing to book you because of your religious beliefs....


As others have said. Get new members, I wouldnt want to work with people like that anyway.

Good luck and I hope you resolve this.

 

[I am Soma]

I agree with most of your points here except for the fact the the Klan is a hate group. That would be my reason not for playing for them. They actively hate and discriminate against others based on ridiculous racial lines. Gay people do no such thing so refusing to play for them puts YOU on the wrong side. They arent refusing to book you because of your religious beliefs....


As others have said. Get new members, I wouldnt want to work with people like that anyway.

Good luck and I hope you resolve this.

ridding yourself of hateful people can make life much more enjoyable

 

[verycoolname]

Would your band play for a KKK rally? A convention of mink farmers? Fill in your own objectionalble situation here...

The point is there's probably some gigs that many of us would pass on due to moral stands. Not making judgements here one way or the other, but it sounds like the two singers here are just in the wrong band.

I know you were using hyperbole to get your point across, but comparing the KKK--which is classified as a violent hate group--and homosexuals--who, for all intents and purposes, are a generally non-violent minority--is a stretch. You're right on with the mink farmers though; I just asked my roommate, who's a vegetarian/animal rights activist, if she'd play a show for a mink farmer rally and she said no.

Granted, a rally is different than a wedding. If your bandmates didn't want to play at a Pride event I'd kind of understand (because they don't want to be depicted supporting the movement with a public performance), but a wedding is something private and non-political in nature. You don't have to support gay marriage to play a gay wedding...just treat it like any other wedding. Do it for the money and the experience.

(Oh, to gln1955, nice avatar)

 

[Lee Moses]

If it were my band, i would find replacements for the two dissenting members. I have no time to be playing with bigots, especially when their bigotry is hurting potential business. I would play gay weddings exclusively if given the opportunity.

So you would discriminate against straight weddings if given the opportunity? Sounds pretty bigoted to me.

 

[sleeplessknight]

Hell, I'd fire these clowns simply for costing me business.

This wins the thread right here Your bandmates' attitudes have no place in a professional setting. I would have a private chat with the personnel involved and make it very clear to them that they are welcome to their opinions/beliefs/whatever on their own time, but the business does not discriminate and the first whiff you get of them making the clients uncomfortable or otherwise acting unprofessionally, they can expect to be replaced.

 

[I am Soma]

(Oh, to gln1955, nice avatar)

dr. who angels?

 

[Stranger Danger]

I've been working in corp/party/wedding bands almost exclusively for the past 10 year, and in the last few I'm now working more and more same-sex wedding gigs. Makes since now that these marriages have have been legalized.

I'm cool with this and see it as an untapped market. Most of these events have been high dollar productions that pay well and appreciate live music.

In one of my current gigs I've got a few religious band members who have issues with being a part of such an event. I've kept my mouth shut for the most part, but not sure if I can stand by and say nothing in these situations any longer.

My reasons are: 1-It's my paycheck!, and 2-We are a business and a business can't (and shouldn't) discriminate. Remember, it wasn't long ago that restaurants would hang a sign in the window saying people of a certain skin color or ethnicity were not allowed. How is this any different.

Not sure how to best handle this. People are allowed there own personal discrimitation and I respect that, but not a business. At the same time, I like these folks in the band and they are very good and required as they are the male and female lead singers. There is a lot of pressure to not take these gigs from the religious two, and the rest of the band wants the cash.

Anyone else had to deal with this? Any ideas on how to best handle this situation?

I wouldn't be in a band with bigots who hide behind religion to justify their hate.

 

[73jbass]

Easy solution. On the gigs that they don't want to do because of their beliefs,use replacements. Done.

 

[sean_on_bass]

So you would discriminate against straight weddings if given the opportunity? Sounds pretty bigoted to me.

Yes Lee, that was EXACTLY what i was saying...not.

 

[Humbled]

Here's my generic post High-Fiving myself with a anecdote about how good I am at refusing to tolerate intolerant people.

 

[Lee Moses]

Yes Lee, that was EXACTLY what i was saying...not.

So what's your problem with someone else wanting to play straight weddings exclusively?

 

[Coolhandjjl]

I expect artists to be above the fray, above political pettiness. Above judging others, and advocating for a fair and just world with equality and compassion for all. Isn't this what music is all about? Personally, I can't see how any musician would have any problems with any of this. Those band members' true character have been revealed, time to tell them to move on.

 

[sean_on_bass]

I dont have a problem with that, because i am not in their band, and probably never will be.

Key words from my original post, "IF it were my band"

 

[PokeyPrasch]

This thread is heading in exactly the direction I thought it would. The PC'ers MUST have it THEIR way. Funny how liberal thinkers lose their liberality when someone disagrees with them.

Not a thing to do with political correctness or liberalism.

 

[callofcthulhu]

I dunno, the discrimination thing worked out pretty good for Chik-fil-A in the long run. I guess bad publicity is STILL publicity.


I think your band members have an equal right to their prejudice as you have to your paycheck. There's nothing illegal at all about refusing service to anyone for any reason whatsoever. That's part of being a supposedly free country and why we have such interesting entrepreneurs as the "Soup Nazi"

If you push on this, I foresee bad things happening with your band.

Except the soup nazi was using his own esoteric scale to judge his patrons on their character. If he had been using a patently transparent method of determining to whom he refused service on the basis of race, religion, or orientation, he would have been shut down for violating the law.

That's part of being in a free country - you're free to live your life without being subjected to hate.

 

[nutdog]

I don't really want to play at a party where a bunch of dudes are dancing with and kissing each other. Religion has nothing to do with it. I just don't want to see it. I don't play at smoky dives either.