Issues w Same-Sex (gay) wedding gigs

[dmac1961]

I speak to the band as a whole. If the two holdouts don't want to do the gig, tell them it will get passed on to another group that you play with. Then let them explain to the other members why they are taking money out of their pockets. Geeze, playing the gig is not an advocation of alternative lifestyle.

 

[mellowinman]

This is the same idea as "if you don't like what's on, turn the channel." They absolutely have the right to voice their objections to playing certain gigs. You also have the right to replace them if you see fit to do so. Talk to them and find out how strong their religious convictions are, and let their answers guide your decision. You also have to ask yourself if you would play a gig for a political gathering if that party totally went against everything you believe. If you were an extreme liberal and Sarah Palin asked you to play a fund raiser, would you do it? In playing the gig, the public will likely associate your group as supporters of the cause. We all have the right to live and work based on our beliefs. If there is no owner of the band, then majority rules. Just be ready to replace them along with any equipment that may leave with them.

I agree with Rusty Axe, but get ready for the piling on. We all have the right to our beliefs, just so long as it is the same as theirs.

You have the right to your beliefs. It's how you ACT on them, and whether it infringes the rights of others that is in question. I could give you a lot of examples of how I have beliefs that society would prefer I don't act upon.

But that would take this thread down a very dark path indeed.

 

[Pajama_Bottoms]

Do you think being the "wedding band that won't play gay weddings" is going to reflect positively on the group in a few years? The times, they are a changing, and you guys are a blog post away from being the "bigot band". And I don't imagine the market for a wedding party band aimed only at a very religious audience is a huge one.

 

[nutdog]

Why would something as harmless as that bother you? Love is love.

What's love got to do with it?

 

[Stranger Danger]

Seems to me either someone compromises, or someone quits the band. Personally, I don't think the number of gay marriage gigs you would miss warrant breaking up a band. Personally, I'd pass on the gig and tell ya to hire a sub for the event.

This thread is heading in exactly the direction I thought it would. The PC'ers MUST have it THEIR way. Funny how liberal thinkers lose their liberality when someone disagrees with them.

It's not funny. I am a Liberal and proud of it. I am judgmental of bigots. Don't like them at all. Don't want them around me if I can avoid it.

Would you really turn down a gay marriage gig? How about an interracial marriage? Are those OK to have bands perform? What about ugly people? Would you do the gig if the people were ugly? What if the bride had an abortion 10 years ago? Would that be OK? What if the groom was Muslim or God forbid a Jew?

If by "THEIR way" you mean fairness and equality and treating others with respect based on their ethnicity and personal choices and not discriminating against them based on personal hatred? Yes we want it OUR WAY.

 

[Geekydad]

Is the money green? then I'm there.

Heck we once played a nudist colony show. trust me, it wasn't pretty and it was kinda weird. But they paid.
*shrugs*

Did you play your bass like William Murderface from Dethklok?

(Let's just say he doesn't have to use his hand to pluck the notes.)

 

[hrodbert696]

Well, this thread brought out the vitriol fast, as anticipated...

Before it gets closed, a couple of points...

One should remember that while any one of US may have no objection to the gig, before we get high and mighty about it, remember that apparently it IS a moral issue and a matter of conscience for the OP's bandmates. THEY feel that playing the gig would violate their conscience, and it's none of OUR business to tell them what their conscience should or shouldn't be. One can say "a gig is a gig" but does getting a gig warrant violating your conscience?

All the talk about firing people or quitting is premature, but I suppose that's the TB BM response to every little problem. It seems to me that apparently this is a successful group with the people it has and I would just as soon not mess with it if I were the OP.

How is the gig getting booked? Are clients contacting the band directly or is it through wedding planners or an agent? If there's a booker involved, they probably have other bands they can turn to. It should be easy enough to let them know that some band members are uncomfortable at gay weddings and to redirect the client to other options. If the bookings are coming in directly, a non-objecting band member could take the task of redirection. "Thanks very much for the gig offer. I'm sorry, but a couple of our bandmates would not be comfortable playing, so to make sure you have a great experience, may I suggest you try our friends band X?" That will, however, mean less business for the band. If the OP wants those gigs, then, seems the option is to find alternate singers or a second band that wouldn't have the objections.

 

[QORC]

Did you play your bass like William Murderface from Dethklok?

(Let's just say he doesn't have to use his fret hand to pluck the notes.)

we remained clothed. I would've done it, but the rest of the band would absolutely not!

 

[RustyAxe]

Damn friend, you sound bitter. I hope you can find peace as the world continues to progress forward.

I'm doin' just fine, man ... just fine.

 

[Sixgunn]

It is unbelievably unprofessional.

They are aware that the bible is anti-capitalist as well, right? They shouldn't be taking money to perform anywhere if they are that devout...

Who told you that?

 

[Thisguy]

Not sure what you're looking for here. If you can't quit and they can't be fired you're out of luck here on TB. Those are the only two options here at TB.

 

[Pajama_Bottoms]

Who told you that?

Some nut who kept talking about serving two masters and selling everything and giving the money to the poor

 

[mattattack187]

I won't play the gig because I don't want to play the gig. That makes me a "bigot" by the liberal thinker's standards.

That's pure BS, and you know it ... there's a whole generation of Americans who have forgotten the 1st Amendment ... which is, in its essence, toleration and protection of ALL opinions. So you might not want me in your band ... I probably don't want to be there, anyway. But I will NOT cede my right to believe and to act according to my beliefs.

The Constitution is open to interpretation, just like the Bible. People interpret it to whichever way suits their beliefs/opinion.

 

[callofcthulhu]

Who told you that?

Acts 4:32–35:32

And the multitude of them that believed were of one heart and of one soul: neither said any of them that ought of the things which he possessed was his own; but they had all things common. 33 And with great power gave the apostles witness of the resurrection of the Lord Jesus: and great grace was upon them all. 34 Neither was there any among them that lacked: for as many as were possessors of lands or houses sold them, and brought the prices of the things that were sold, 35 And laid them down at the apostles' feet: and distribution was made unto every man according as he had need.

 

[KevInDaBassment]

"Thanks very much for the gig offer. I'm sorry, but a couple of our bandmates would not be comfortable playing, so to make sure you have a great experience, may I suggest you try our friends band X?" That will, however, mean less business for the band. If the OP wants those gigs, then, seems the option is to find alternate singers or a second band that wouldn't have the objections.

A generic or vague answer would suffice too. You could just say they aren't able to play the gig and leave it at that. This was the situation with the bars, no need to go to their face and feel like you should insult them or belittle them.

 

[Sixgunn]

Some nut who kept talking about serving two masters and selling everything and giving the money to the poor

Still not makin' the connection.

 

[RustyAxe]

Could be because "the PC'er's" seem to have a belief that no one should ever be denied the same rights as all other people. Some things are basic human rights. The right for an adult to marry the person they love, for example.

Ah, c'mon ... whose rights are violated if I say "I ain't playing that gig"? But you would FORCE me to play it, and violate MY rights. You can't have it both ways, man. For the record, I didn't even touch on the rights of gays to marry ... the gubmint has already decided that. The point is moot. My point is simply the rights of those who disagree on moral grounds (or whatever, really) to voice their beliefs, and to refrain from participation in something that is against their conscience (or even just their preference). I don't play biker gigs. Period. But I ride a Road King, and have been a rider all my life. Can you say I hate bikers because I won't play the gig? Of course not.

All that having been said ... if one holds to their beliefs then they must also face the consequences ... in this case, to be labeled as a homophobe, a bigot, an anachronism, and just about any kind of insulting slander, unfairly and without substantive proof. Standing one's ground has a cost. It could cost you the band. But compromise for $$$ will cause one to lose their integrity. All things considered, it's easy to find another band.

What I said in my first post stands ... either compromise or the band breaks up. There doesn't seem to be any other reasonable alternative.

 

[Sixgunn]

Acts 4:32–35:32

And you somehow get the idea that He was saying that the world is supposed to be one big commune?

 

[awilkie84]

Seems to me either someone compromises, or someone quits the band. Personally, I don't think the number of gay marriage gigs you would miss warrant breaking up a band. Personally, I'd pass on the gig and tell ya to hire a sub for the event.

This thread is heading in exactly the direction I thought it would. The PC'ers MUST have it THEIR way. Funny how liberal thinkers lose their liberality when someone disagrees with them.

?? Lose their liberality? Seems more to me like they're pushing more for tolerance and equal rights and it's the discriminators who are getting uppity.

 

[KevInDaBassment]

Acts 4:32–35:32

Just taking a stab from reading that here, sounds more like philanthropy than anti-capitalism. There is a difference between a community doing something voluntarily and it being mandated by a government. My family looks out for one another in this fashion, the bond that justifies this for us is that we are related. For these people it was their unity through a common faith, seems kind of different to me.