Thats what my mom was going for...it worked. Yes a 20 who fears a 45 year old women, but that women is also my best friend and we have a good strong relationship. Im not saying beat your children just to do it, but I was told before why I was getting one and thought twice about ever doing whatever it was again.
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Kids...
- Thread starter AuG
- Start date
Thats what my mom was going for...it worked. Yes a 20 who fears a 45 year old women, but that women is also my best friend and we have a good strong relationship. Im not saying beat your children just to do it, but I was told before why I was getting one and thought twice about ever doing whatever it was again.
I got hit only a few times as a kid. I think the worst beating I got was on the beach one time. My mom held me upside down and started smacking me on the back repeatedly. I was choking on a plum pit. 
soulgeezer
Inactive
- Jan 29, 2007
- 5,123
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- Endorsing Artist: Red Zone Effects
Kids don't bother me. It's some parents I can't stand. Especially parents who don't control their kids in public. Now, THEM I have a problem with.
my 1 year old neice is the cutest little kid ever. but i personally am afraid of having kids. all that responsibliity scares the heck out of me.
That's exactly what I don't want to become.
I still think that a little bit of fear can work, but I don't want to have them think of me as just the mean old guy that is all discipline and no love. Self esteem is an important point that Vegan brought up, and that's something that would probably come into play a bit later on...perhaps when they turn 3 or 4. The only peer pressure they have right now is each other. I've noticed Madison usually taking the lead in "bad" behavior, which is basically just doing something I told her not to do. Marissa on the other hand is the leader for attention from Mommy and likes to whine moreso than her sister.
I think we need to grab that book and sit down together to agree on what we think would be effective discipline while still being loving, caring, and compassionate parents.
I got hit only a few times as a kid. I think the worst beating I got was on the beach one time. My mom held me upside down and started smacking me on the back repeatedly. I was choking on a plum pit.
Aww poor little Poop Loops.
Honey, you can't reason with them, so don't try.
Give them consequences, instead. Sometimes its a swat on the butt. Sometimes its something else. The only thing you need to explain is the reason they are being punished, and that behavior has consequences, and that you love them. Make their discipline short...they have short attention spans right now...but swift. No waiting...they'll forget what they did.
One thing my mother did when I had tantrums as a little kid...she would throw a little water in my face. Just an itty-bit, but that cold water would shock me a little and make me forget what I was mad about. I've done it with both my kids, and it works like a charm. Its not hurtful in any way, and it gets them to snap out of the tantrum when nothing else will.
Until the tantrum is over, you really can't find out what's wrong, because the child is incoherent from the crying and the freaking out. The water makes the child stop crying and focus on something else, and then you have some peace in which to find out what's wrong.
Sometimes, I just let my kids have their tantrums. For instance...If I'm in the grocery store, and I need to buy groceries so we can eat when we get home, and a child has a tantrum because I won't buy that box of gummies or cookies or that toy or whatever, honey, they are just going to have to cry. They will *not* get what they want, but I *must* shop, so go ahead and sit here in the cart and cry and let people stare. I don't care one whit. If I can't stop the crying, well, I'm not going without supper because of it.
They will learn that their crying gets them *nowhere*, and that they can't influence your behavior with it, either.
Cherie
Give them consequences, instead. Sometimes its a swat on the butt. Sometimes its something else. The only thing you need to explain is the reason they are being punished, and that behavior has consequences, and that you love them. Make their discipline short...they have short attention spans right now...but swift. No waiting...they'll forget what they did.
One thing my mother did when I had tantrums as a little kid...she would throw a little water in my face. Just an itty-bit, but that cold water would shock me a little and make me forget what I was mad about. I've done it with both my kids, and it works like a charm. Its not hurtful in any way, and it gets them to snap out of the tantrum when nothing else will.
Until the tantrum is over, you really can't find out what's wrong, because the child is incoherent from the crying and the freaking out. The water makes the child stop crying and focus on something else, and then you have some peace in which to find out what's wrong.
Sometimes, I just let my kids have their tantrums. For instance...If I'm in the grocery store, and I need to buy groceries so we can eat when we get home, and a child has a tantrum because I won't buy that box of gummies or cookies or that toy or whatever, honey, they are just going to have to cry. They will *not* get what they want, but I *must* shop, so go ahead and sit here in the cart and cry and let people stare. I don't care one whit. If I can't stop the crying, well, I'm not going without supper because of it.
They will learn that their crying gets them *nowhere*, and that they can't influence your behavior with it, either.
Cherie
Honey, you can't reason with them, so don't try.
Give them consequences, instead. Sometimes its a swat on the butt. Sometimes its something else. The only thing you need to explain is the reason they are being punished, and that behavior has consequences, and that you love them. Make their discipline short...they have short attention spans right now...but swift. No waiting...they'll forget what they did.
One thing my mother did when I had tantrums as a little kid...she would throw a little water in my face. Just an itty-bit, but that cold water would shock me a little and make me forget what I was mad about. I've done it with both my kids, and it works like a charm. Its not hurtful in any way, and it gets them to snap out of the tantrum when nothing else will.
Until the tantrum is over, you really can't find out what's wrong, because the child is incoherent from the crying and the freaking out. The water makes the child stop crying and focus on something else, and then you have some peace in which to find out what's wrong.
Sometimes, I just let my kids have their tantrums. For instance...If I'm in the grocery store, and I need to buy groceries so we can eat when we get home, and a child has a tantrum because I won't buy that box of gummies or cookies or that toy or whatever, honey, they are just going to have to cry. They will *not* get what they want, but I *must* shop, so go ahead and sit here in the cart and cry and let people stare. I don't care one whit. If I can't stop the crying, well, I'm not going without supper because of it.
They will learn that their crying gets them *nowhere*, and that they can't influence your behavior with it, either.
Cherie
Give them consequences, instead. Sometimes its a swat on the butt. Sometimes its something else. The only thing you need to explain is the reason they are being punished, and that behavior has consequences, and that you love them. Make their discipline short...they have short attention spans right now...but swift. No waiting...they'll forget what they did.
One thing my mother did when I had tantrums as a little kid...she would throw a little water in my face. Just an itty-bit, but that cold water would shock me a little and make me forget what I was mad about. I've done it with both my kids, and it works like a charm. Its not hurtful in any way, and it gets them to snap out of the tantrum when nothing else will.
Until the tantrum is over, you really can't find out what's wrong, because the child is incoherent from the crying and the freaking out. The water makes the child stop crying and focus on something else, and then you have some peace in which to find out what's wrong.
Sometimes, I just let my kids have their tantrums. For instance...If I'm in the grocery store, and I need to buy groceries so we can eat when we get home, and a child has a tantrum because I won't buy that box of gummies or cookies or that toy or whatever, honey, they are just going to have to cry. They will *not* get what they want, but I *must* shop, so go ahead and sit here in the cart and cry and let people stare. I don't care one whit. If I can't stop the crying, well, I'm not going without supper because of it.
They will learn that their crying gets them *nowhere*, and that they can't influence your behavior with it, either.
Cherie
^ big +1
I have a 5 year old daughter. I would get her what she wanted when she was little .. and it turned into when I would say no to something she'd throw a tantrum. I'd give in half way through and get her what she wanted to stop crying.
Over the last couple of years, I have put my foot down on the "no" word. When I say no I mean no .. and she respects and understands it.
Awhile ago I got out of the habit, and we started hanging around with our neighbors a little bit who have 3 kids of their own. When I'd tell my daughter not to do something, she'd look at me, stick her tongue out at me and then go do it.
Within a week of her doing that she was back listening to me.
Use a timeout chair .. with nothing around that they can focus on or play with. They will hate it .. and learn not to want to go in it. That's one trick I used with my daughter.
I heard once from a nanny show that the timeout chair should be 1 minute for how old they are. 2 years old would be 2 minutes. Ignore them during this time .. don't make eye contact with them .. if they get up, put them back, sit down and ignore them. I would put my daughter there for 5 minutes, sometimes a little longer.
Then after the time is up, quietly tell them why you put them there ..
I have a 5 year old daughter. I would get her what she wanted when she was little .. and it turned into when I would say no to something she'd throw a tantrum. I'd give in half way through and get her what she wanted to stop crying.
Over the last couple of years, I have put my foot down on the "no" word. When I say no I mean no .. and she respects and understands it.
Awhile ago I got out of the habit, and we started hanging around with our neighbors a little bit who have 3 kids of their own. When I'd tell my daughter not to do something, she'd look at me, stick her tongue out at me and then go do it.
Within a week of her doing that she was back listening to me.
Use a timeout chair .. with nothing around that they can focus on or play with. They will hate it .. and learn not to want to go in it. That's one trick I used with my daughter.
I heard once from a nanny show that the timeout chair should be 1 minute for how old they are. 2 years old would be 2 minutes. Ignore them during this time .. don't make eye contact with them .. if they get up, put them back, sit down and ignore them. I would put my daughter there for 5 minutes, sometimes a little longer.
Then after the time is up, quietly tell them why you put them there ..
I have twins. They are 10 now. [ Left eye twitching] You will love them. Nothing like having 2 at once. [More left eye twitching.] 
Seriously though, it's all your outlook on kids. I will say that the older they get the better it gets. Of course they are not yet in their teens. I may change my tune.
Seriously though, it's all your outlook on kids. I will say that the older they get the better it gets. Of course they are not yet in their teens. I may change my tune.
A couple of points:
1) The toddler stage is a difficult time, but try to remember that it's only temporary. They're mobile, eager to explore, and they don't have much common sense, so you have to keep an eye on them EVERY SECOND. It'll be exhausting for a few years, but as they get closer to school-age it WILL get start to get easier, and you will start to get some sanity back. So hang in there!
2) My older sister once gave me some advice: good kids come from solid foundations. In other words, if the adults' relationship at home stays strong, stable and happy, then the odds go WAY up that your kids will avoid problems in their life. They WILL be "good kids"; indeed, they will be good PEOPLE.
1) The toddler stage is a difficult time, but try to remember that it's only temporary. They're mobile, eager to explore, and they don't have much common sense, so you have to keep an eye on them EVERY SECOND. It'll be exhausting for a few years, but as they get closer to school-age it WILL get start to get easier, and you will start to get some sanity back. So hang in there!
2) My older sister once gave me some advice: good kids come from solid foundations. In other words, if the adults' relationship at home stays strong, stable and happy, then the odds go WAY up that your kids will avoid problems in their life. They WILL be "good kids"; indeed, they will be good PEOPLE.
Oh yeah, controlling a tired two year old with a cold is a piece of cake when he/she is crying loudly or throwing a temper tantrum.
Spankings not only DO NOT work, a two year old doesn't have a clue why you are beating on them.
Older kids that should know better. You bet, I agree. But if anyone has a problem with my two year old girl having a temper tantrum or crying loudly and thinks I should physically discipline her is going to get their ass kicked (provided they are old enough to know better and can't be reasoned with).
Now if we are somewhere in public where my child should be quiet (church, or some other event that requires some quiet) then I'll just leave with my daughter. But if I'm in the store and she's too loud for someone they can kiss my ass.
It is definitely age dependent. Up to about four years old, they really are not going to understand being spanked...except that they are being hit. Stupid.
I've only spanked my older kids in extreme circumstances, and even then only when they were old enough to know better, and should understand what I'm telling them to do, and they still misbehave.
Hitting kids (even anything beyond a brief swat on the butt to wake them up) doesn't do anyone any good. Parents who wail on there kids ought to seek counseling because smacking a kid more than once is really just taking your frustration out on them and teaches them nothing but that it's OK to hit someone when you are frustrated with them. You want your children to grow up with love, hitting them will do the opposite.
I agree 100% that it's all on the parents...pretty much up until the kids are teenagers (or thereabouts). Of course some discipline is still required (necessary), but by the time they are teenagers they think their parents are stupid anyway, and they are already starting to be their own person and are making their own decisions. Hopefully they will have learned enough from you as a parent to make wise decisions, but you can't control everything they do. It's the years between infancy up to teenage years that really count the most in teaching kids to grow up right.
I have kids from 15 years down to 2 years old. I also have a 21 year old step daughter. I've been through all of this already.
Kids can be cool I am pretty patient with them but there is nothing more disturbing as a child screaming in a resturaunt as I am trying to eat.
Yeah, we'll use the timeout thing too. With our two year old, usually she'll get over her tantrum pretty quick if we tell her to settle down or she'll have to sit in her crib. Works like a charm. The last thing they want is NO attention.
+1. 2 year olds can be a lot of fun too. I found more tantrums once they hit 3. But now I'm in a really cool phase where my son tells me he loves me all the time. That makes me feel good. Hope this last for a few years or so.
I have two children. They use up every bit of patience that I have for children on a daily basis. So it works like this - for my two children, I have all of the patience and tolerance in the world... and there's none left for anybody else, so I have absolutely no patience for other people's noisy, whining, screaming kids.
