I've been playing in my current band for a little more then a year. Shortly after I joined, we got a new drummer and for the next 2 months we rehearsed 3 times a week and wrote about 3 good solid songs. We played our first show in july, then keep rehearsing and played 2 open mic nights in sept. Then we took a break with school and the holidays. Then in January we played a show, played 2 new songs. Rehearsed on and off until April and played gigs in May, June and August. But the promoters( more like rip offs) dont have "contracts" to other clubs besides one. Since January we've played 4 shows, all in the same Venue with only 4 set list changes. We have only 10 orginal songs and of those 4 shows 2 were the same set. I've made a comment about being serious and changing the set but its always blown off because the guitar player's brother (our singer) is only 16, the rest of us are 20. And they all the songs are "too good" to drop. I feel that its BS, and a copp out of not having to write more songs and to change the set. I honestly feel that I've invested alot of money into my gear and would like to get a return on my investment, meaning gigs. I'm seriously thinking of leaving, because it seems they are afraid of making a move to different promoters to play different shows.Its gotten to the point where the audience is parents, gfs and close friends who are "guilted" to coming and seeing us. A coworker of mine is a comedian and does quite well and he said who ever books gigs and such has no idea what they are doing and the band has no sense of direction. I'm all for taking a shot at making it and I really need to figure out how to approach the guitar player about this and not come off as an ass looking for more money. Its come to a point of is this a "fun band" of friends and play out when ever or is this a "real" band that gigs multiple times a month. What would the best way to approach the situation and opinions of leaving the band.
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- Thread starter bl2112
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not so much the 16 y o calling shots, its the guitar play. The singer and guitar player are brothers, and the longer ive been in the band it seems its really "the brothers band" and me and the drummer are there to back them up. But its really weird considering the band was giging 12-14 times a year before I joined and theyve dropped to only 5 shows. The promoters are garabage. And its not that im not listed its im just the bass player. The drummer is part of their circle of friends, so hes included more. Kinda sad considering they called to ask me to join and this is what i got.
I'm not sure that the best way to "approach" the guitarist is the real issue here. Either you can speak frankly with him, or you can't.
There's a world of difference in maturity between the typical 16 year-old and the typical 20 year-old. If the rest of the band seems comfortable with things as they are, then it seems to me that the matter has been long decided - at least in their minds - and that you're the only one with ambitions for something bigger & better.
As a general principle, may I suggest the following? If you're serious about being a musician, and about being the best musician you can be, then a certain amount of ruthlessness is required.
By that I don't mean that you indiscriminately step on people. I mean that you maintain an attitude of always looking to better yourself and your opportunities - and that you don't allow yourself to get caught in dead-end situations. Once things begin to get stale - with little hope of revitalization - it's time to move on, making certain that your next opportunity is better than the one you just left.
If you think your current band can be turned around, by all means speak up and stick to your guns. There's no magic formula here - just work it out like an adult. But I would have a set of goals - and a timeline - in mind before having that conversation. Just so you have something by which to negotiate an agreement, if possible. And something by which to measure progress, should they actually agree to step it up a few notches.
Otherwise, start looking around for a better band - now.
MM
Thanks MM. Right now im planning on looking for a new band but sticking with them until i join something new. Because if all else fails, this band could still be better then no band. Its sad considering that during the writting parts I'll play a riff and its all loved, but once its arrangement time, its shut up your ideas are dumb. But most I feel its musically its over their heads. And I'm belittled for being a Rush fan. Out of nowhere comments come out that Geddy Lee is gay and other stupid remarks, and it even goes to attacking hockey, which is completely out of context when were trying to write a song. I'm pretty sure the days with this band are numbered unless something big changes.
You don't need to stay there and get pissed off, find another band or start your own thing. If you're writing as well that's a big plus, put together a few ideas of your own, so that you do have something to offer when you approach musicians you'd like to work with, either as a sideman or a bandleader, and get on with your thing. Like in other types of relationships, and unlike what you said earlier, my opinion is that no thing is much better then a thing that's not functioning. When you make a clean cut at least you have a starting point for a new thing,
It sounds like a dead-end band to me, and if I were in your situation I'd stick with them until you can find something else. As far as playing the same set over and over most original bands will play the same or similar set for a while. I've been in my current band for a little over a year and there are some songs we've played at every single gig. The setlist has changed slightly over as we wrote new songs but its always pretty similar.
The summary of this situation is that you were brought in to play in the band, you don't play much, the rest of band are not your friends and they take the p*ss out of your musicianship, musical tastes and interests.
I think you already know the solution and the time frame.
I think you already know the solution and the time frame.
Sounds like, for all practical purposes, there is one 20 year old and a bunch of 16 year olds, instead of the other way around.
You can do better than that; find yourself a different band where you'll have equal input and the option of gigging regularly.
Good luck
You can do better than that; find yourself a different band where you'll have equal input and the option of gigging regularly.
Good luck
Great advice. I totally agree with you. But apparently the OP would rather stick with the dysfunctional status quo, where he continues to endure abuse, than he would to cut those jokers loose now and make a clean break of it.
Life is too short to spend ANY of it with @$$holes. Too bad for him that he apparently doesn't see that - yet. Eventually he will. But when? And at what cost?
I've already wasted too much time and energy on this thread...
MM
People who write originals tend to make so many songs, then simply run out of material.
I’m guessing that they’ve reached their peak, and there’s nothing more to be gotten from them…
and maybe because you want more, they’re dogging you rather than face/admit it that they can’t live up to it.
I suggest you find another situation, and if you want to gig, I suggest covers (which doesn’t preclude you from also writing songs).
Typically when people write a rant, they tend to leave out the good/fun parts of the situation, so I’m assuming since you stated that you’d like to play with them until you find something better, that’s the case.
But definitely look for something else, and don’t write off the covers thing.
I’m guessing that they’ve reached their peak, and there’s nothing more to be gotten from them…
and maybe because you want more, they’re dogging you rather than face/admit it that they can’t live up to it.
I suggest you find another situation, and if you want to gig, I suggest covers (which doesn’t preclude you from also writing songs).
Typically when people write a rant, they tend to leave out the good/fun parts of the situation, so I’m assuming since you stated that you’d like to play with them until you find something better, that’s the case.
But definitely look for something else, and don’t write off the covers thing.
Brothers huh. I make it a rule to never be in a band with any of the three S's
1. Siblings
2. Significant Others
3. Sammy Hagar
I like to call it the Van Halen rule.
Ok really nothing against Sammy Hagar but I needed a third S to keep it from being the SS Rule.
Ken
1. Siblings
2. Significant Others
3. Sammy Hagar
I like to call it the Van Halen rule.
Ok really nothing against Sammy Hagar but I needed a third S to keep it from being the SS Rule.
Ken
Shoot man, I've now played 6 gigs within two weeks of being in school this semester. My band has yet to rehearse more than once, and we're doing a mixture of (good) originals and covers. If a band takes longer than two weeks just to get one gig I'll usually bounce. The opportunities and talent are there to get something going really quick. Any time wasted in a band is time wasted in your real life 
Sounds like your wastin your time with these guys, you would be better off quitting and just wood shedding material you like,until a decent opportunity with a united band with a direction and a plan.
Keep in mind, if your looking to play out a lot, it's not going to happen with an originals band.
blue
Keep in mind, if your looking to play out a lot, it's not going to happen with an originals band.
blue
