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Leaving your band, finding another

Discussion in 'General Instruction [BG]' started by JDeewond, May 1, 2009.

  1. Hi, I've been having this fear for some time and I got to thinking there was absolutely no way that I alone could feel like that...

    About 2 and a half years ago I bought my first bass after seeing a local guy playing what was absolutely mind blowing to me. The band he was in wasn't the greatest but he was adding so much more than the muffled bass in some music I was in at the time, It created an atmosphere. For me, that night is still today an inspiration to better myself(eventually, only the photographic memories will remain:().

    Lucky me, along the way came amazing friends who I know will always be down for a good jam. It's a tightly knit group and I always felt like I belonged with these guys. I'm not talking about a band or anything(we had 2 basses and a good lead but an apprentice(and I mean that in the best way) on rhythm. No one plays to be in a band(except rare ego trips by the lead), everyone just has fun getting together, It's never so much the product, sometimes it's what goes into making it.

    I feel like there's always something to learn but especially so right now because in 4 months I'm moving 800 miles away. School obliges, I just come from such a small city where there is so little resources. More people, etc. I've always liked the mellow mood around the jam space, nothing is taken too seriously, we just geek out on these instruments(the rhythm usually says that the lead is wanking way too much.) We were never the "Seeking experienced..." type.

    I know I won't be able to find the closeness I had with friends who I've been with 15 years but I'm wondering where to start. While I feel comfortable with my playing I know very well how little I know compared to how much I feel should know, anything I can focus extra hard on while maybe leaving some for later?. Trying around for a band sounds very daunting, but I'm attracted by the idea since it might be the easiest way to find people to play with.

    Has anyone ever been in something similar? I'd be dying to hear some pointers or stories!:bassist::)
  2. nickonbass


    Jun 8, 2008
    Yeah - it's always tough if you have to move on from a band when the people in the band are your friends.

    I am in 2 bands that I can't see myself leaving. If for nothing else, because of the friendships we've built up in them. These are not people I knew before coming into the bands.

    1 I've been in for 3+ years, the other only 1 year. But I'm really close with all members in both bands. Everyone gels. It's pretty amazing.

    I used to think that I'd never even have that with a band - been in a few with in band fighting and that type of rubbish.

    I was the same as you, grew up in a small town, went to city for school/college. So I understand the moving away bit as well.

    Although it's a shame to have to move on I am certain that you'll find other great people to play with and grow musically but also on the friends. Maybe even more so than what you have now - as hard as that may seem to think.

    It's really great playing with different people and exciting trying out for bands and jamming with others etc etc. It gets the heart pumping, sometimes it's no good, sometimes it's great - but you have to try it all out. They pay offs worth it when you find a band where things gel.

    Don't get too down about it - life moves on like that, people come and go in all areas of our lives. It's always hard to say goodbye to something, so appreciate things when they are good and enjoy those times when you've got them.

    Stay positive and be optimistic. I'm sure that you have plenty of more great musicians and people to meet up with along.

  3. Thanks!

    While I've never been one to shy away, I've been extra touchy about my playing. I'm almost too used to my place in the dynamic of the group. There are thousands of people out there looking for a bassist to jam I'm sure, and all with their own expectations.

    Flashy techniques vs pocket playing?
  4. mambo4


    Jun 9, 2006
    look for a band once you move.

    you may be surprised at how accelerated your learning becomes when the primary purpose of playing together shifts from hanging with your bros to actually making music for performance. plus, if you luck out and hook up with players 'just beyond' your level, it's the golden road to learning IMHO.

    The other thing you might do is learn the bass lines to lots of songs -each tune you learn will teach you something of value.
  5. Thanks mambo. It's always been a non-issue with my 'bros' as far as performance goes and the rhythm would be able to word it better than I since he can play powerchords being told to him in order. I don't think he's ever felt pressured to outdo himself which I understand is not the best of worlds sometimes for some people. Learning music with these people was very, some would say too much, mellow. I'm looking forward to getting my ass kicked around to get in gear with the rest. Playing cool is nice for a bit but I don't think I would have ever grown much past a certain point.

    Time to get learning.
  6. JimmyM


    Apr 11, 2005
    Apopka, FL
    Endorsing: Ampeg Amps, EMG Pickups
    Why do you have to choose? I know a lot of bassists who can do the flashy stuff AND do the pocket playing. The flashy stuff gets you noticed and the pocket stuff gets you the gig.
  7. +1,000,000,000,000 (we speak in trillions now, just because the government here does).

    Always strive to improve. I've played with a LOT of bands that get to the point that we sound really good and get really tight...and then $#!T happens. The last band I was in played 3 gigs for which I received $20 total. We don't gig anymore, so we don't rehearse anymore, which means we don't get together anymore, which means everyone in the band is doing something else now.

    You don't know how true "school obliges" is. Treat every experience as school - not just those in the classroom...and never stop learning.


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