Let's spread some musical misinformation

[Curtis Rielley]

If 150 bass players and play low C#0's it will make everyone in the world crap themselves.

 

[static0verdrive]

All stringed instruments were actually failed attempts by physicists to test string theory.

 

[Feral Feline]

The biggest failure involved crossing streams of string theory from Kraft late-night sponsored television – involving Velveeta liquid gold ... I can't say anymore, lest the illuminati come after me, I've already said too much... anyway, it was to become known as "The String Cheese Incident".

Gotta go, somebody's knocking on my door, who could it be at this hour? It's nearly midnight!

Wait! Nooo! I was just... you... I...

Aiyeeeeeeeeee...

 

[zontar]

All nuclear physicists are failed lead singers for hard rock bands.

 

[Deathblade Eric]

Successful hard rock lead singers are all failed pastry chefs. Ian Gillan's profiteroles are shocking, truly shocking; & the less said about Bruce Dickinson's croissants the better.

 

[Feral Feline]

Successful hard rock lead singers are all failed pastry chefs. Ian Gillan's profiteroles are shocking, truly shocking; & the less said about Bruce Dickinson's croissants the better.

Yes, indeed, the less said the better. You forgot Mercury's eclairs, though...

 

[Gravedigger Dav]

To play classic rock, mojo is best aged for 50 years. It should be buried 34" deep in fertile soil in a cold climate. It must then be dug up in the dark of the moon during winter to avoid it losing it's cool.
A famous failed attempt was chronicled by CCR with "Bad Moon Rising"

 

[Frenchy-Lefty]

Smooth Jazz is the place where old musicians go to die.

 

[zontar]

If your band practices by sitting on the floor, you will all feel the beat better.

 

[Feral Feline]

Smooth Jazz is the place where old musicians go to die.

Uhm, wrong thread. This is the misinformation thread. And please, don't call it Jazz. Call it: Smooth [whatever you want, except jazz]. Pablum gets my vote, smooth pablum.

If your band practices by sitting on the floor, you will all feel the beat better.

This is what is meant by a "Four on the floor" beat, but you have to have a quartet.


Modal jazz is the same thing as playing all the notes on the string nodes, such as "Portrait of Tracy" by J Pastorius, it's just when it was first described in print as "Nodal Jazz" the author mistyped the "n" for the "m" – a connom nistake, afterall, these two letters are right mext to each other om the keyboard. Alas, the proof-reader nissed the typo and was subsequemtly fired.

 

[pklima]

Modal jazz is the same thing as playing all the notes on the string nodes, such as "Portrait of Tracy" by J Pastorius, it's just when it was first described in print as "Nodal Jazz" the author mistyped the "n" for the "m" – a connom nistake, afterall, these two letters are right mext to each other om the keyboard. Alas, the proof-reader nissed the typo and was subsequemtly fired.

That reminds me of the greatest proofreading story in the history of music. Neil Young once bet Don Henley that he could eat more raw oysters in 5 minutes. They were already pretty drunk, so they agreed that the loser had to write and release a song about ancient Mesopotamian warfare. Neil Young won, and Don Henley wrote "The Boys Of Sumer". A proofreader at the publisher thought that was a typo and changed it to "Summer", and the rest is history.

 

[zontar]

This is what is meant by a "Four on the floor" beat, but you have to have a quartet.

I've heard it works with odd time signatures as well--especially 5/8

 

[Feral Feline]

That reminds me of the greatest proofreading story in the history of music. Neil Young once bet Don Henley that he could eat more raw oysters in 5 minutes. They were already pretty drunk, so they agreed that the loser had to write and release a song about ancient Mesopotamian warfare. Neil Young won, and Don Henley wrote "The Boys Of Sumer". A proofreader at the publisher thought that was a typo and changed it to "Summer", and the rest is history.

Ahhh now it makes sense! THAT's what the B-52s were singing about in "Mesopotamia", the song's all about the oyster war between Young & Henley ("ancient culture") and "I'll meet you by the third pyramid" must be about Henley puking in the mens room's 3rd cistern.

Oh those southerners... "They laid down the law, in Mesopotamia"

 

[Deathblade Eric]

Yes, indeed, the less said the better. You forgot Mercury's eclairs, though...

I thought it was his interpretation of pain au chocolat you had to be wary of

 

[Feral Feline]

Either way, cream-filled eclairs with chocolate drizzled on top, or pain au chocabloc...
we're glad he gave up on pastries 'cause he had a helluva voice.

 

[ZenG]

Smooth Jazz can be made even smoother by spraying Silicon on the instrument, the music, your fingers, hands and body.

Juan Wizz (he siliconed his name as well) is the smoothest Smooth Jazz bass player in the world at the moment.

He describes his style as "buttery-smooth acid-Pastorius meets elevator Muzak meets Anne Murray meets Perry Como meets Hydroxyzine"

 

[ZenG]

Old bass players don't die....they just slowly twiddle their tuning pegs off......

 

[ZenG]

Many people find that Chunky Jazz goes better with a Jam session than Smooth Jazz..

 

[Feral Feline]

Smooth Pablum can be made even smoother by spraying Silicon on the instrument, the music, your fingers, hands and body.

Juan Wizz (he siliconed his name as well) is the smoothest Smooth Pablum bass player in the world at the moment.

He describes his style as "buttery-smooth acid-Pastorius meets elevator Muzak meets Anne Murray meets Perry Como meets Hydroxyzine"

Many people find that Chunky Jazz goes better with a Jam session than Smooth Pablum...

Couldn't resist fixing stuff for you.

 

[Jay2U]

Breaking news from Fender. Leo secretly developed a hollow pickup, making hollow basses obsolete. The design was found in an old desk. Fender announced the HJ-bass and the HP-bass, featuring these hollow pickups. Prices start just below $2000.