And has a more hazardous job than either the police or the military.
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Let's spread some musical misinformation
- Thread starter pklima
- Start date
I'mma let you finish. But Beyoncé has the best video of the year.
People often wonder why there are bandsmen in the military. The oft told story is that they are deployed as stretcher bearers. Although this fig leaf gives them the protections of the red cross, their true purpose is far more sinister.
Bandsmen (note that they are not called musicians) are part of Psychological Operations (or PsyOps). Their function is to play loud imperialistic music out of tune and off beat to destroy the moral fiber, disrupt sleep, and generally annoy the enemy.
Human Bassplayer trafficking is currently out of control.
Each year thousands of bass players from the USA are taken captive and shipped to offshore expatriate dive bars to play for nothing.
Japan is the worst because they are heavily into early American pop culture.
Once the captured bass players reach their shores, they are given a cheap factory "third" to play plus a copy of 100 Greatest Rock Hits Of The 50's And 60's.
They also have to learn the entire catalog of Wayne Newton songs.
Their passports and I.D. are held by the traffickers and they are given fake names.
After two years of playing in expatriate bars they are sold to China..where they work for nothing in cheapo bass string factories.
Each year thousands of bass players from the USA are taken captive and shipped to offshore expatriate dive bars to play for nothing.
Japan is the worst because they are heavily into early American pop culture.
Once the captured bass players reach their shores, they are given a cheap factory "third" to play plus a copy of 100 Greatest Rock Hits Of The 50's And 60's.
They also have to learn the entire catalog of Wayne Newton songs.
Their passports and I.D. are held by the traffickers and they are given fake names.
After two years of playing in expatriate bars they are sold to China..where they work for nothing in cheapo bass string factories.
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I was unaware of this problem. Are they tortured by being forced to play Mustang Sally?
Oh yes...Mustang Sally is THE biggest hit of all time in Japan. The song is played on radio stations there over 4 million times a year. Required singing at any Karaoke event.
Oddly, MacArthur Park is the second biggest hit.
Peter Green never actually left Fleetwood Mac--he was with them all along--he was simply testing various stealth suits.
The hurdy-gurdy began its life, controversially, centuries ago, as a machine for tightening and loosening a courtesan's undergarment. As it happened, her 'Degirdle' would first be strapped to her waist; then a crank would be turned so that a gear, interlocking with the customized wooden girdle, would be turned to tighten or loosen the undergarment. From all accounts, this was a very pleasurable experience for the courtesan who would often be seen publicly weeping and moaning for joy and, as a consequence, entertaining the entire court with the music of her ratcheting rhythmic reverie.
Courtesan with prototype hurdy-gurdy
To the chagrin of millions around the globe, alterations had to be made to the system as the girdles were all too often quite lethal to the inexperienced - ill-educated courtesans regularly tickled themselves to death with nothing but their wood degirdles and a little wine. Courts and kingdoms across the world were decimated by the practice. Something had to be done.
Thank goodness, what we're left with today, for reasons unbeknownst to all but the most dedicated historian - and now you, dear reader - is a modern-day wood degirdle - a synthesized, detached, untethered version - now all that remains of that crowd-pleasing, controversial device - commonly known as the humble hurdy-gurdy.
Courtesan with prototype hurdy-gurdy
To the chagrin of millions around the globe, alterations had to be made to the system as the girdles were all too often quite lethal to the inexperienced - ill-educated courtesans regularly tickled themselves to death with nothing but their wood degirdles and a little wine. Courts and kingdoms across the world were decimated by the practice. Something had to be done.
Thank goodness, what we're left with today, for reasons unbeknownst to all but the most dedicated historian - and now you, dear reader - is a modern-day wood degirdle - a synthesized, detached, untethered version - now all that remains of that crowd-pleasing, controversial device - commonly known as the humble hurdy-gurdy.
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The accordion got its name due to its employment in diplomacy. When negotiations (in French, the ancient language of diplomacy) were deadlocked a player would be wheeled in to play endless French ballads, hastening an agreement, or, in French, an accord, hence accordion.
The English band A were originally called A1, but had to change their name after being sued by the steak sauce brand.
Sadly, Sting's lawsuit against their singer for stealing his voice and hairstyle failed.
Sadly, Sting's lawsuit against their singer for stealing his voice and hairstyle failed.
Gordon Sumner thought that having a nickname would make him a better musician. He started calling himself "Stink" as an homage to Jeff 'Skunk' Baxter. However, he was convinced by a record company executive that he would have fewer groupies if he was known by that moniker. The image makeover involved striped polo shirts and the name "Sting".
Nothing odd about MacArthur Park being popular in Japan. The song was written about a park in Osaka dedicated to the liberator of the Japanese people, General Douglas MacArthur.
Freddie Mercury had a contract lined up to quit the band Queen and join forces with Bono of "U2". The deal would give Freddie top billing while still keeping Bono's band name relatively intact. Unfortunately Freddie passed away before the new band venture "FU2" could be launched.
It has been noted that there is an uneven distribution of names in the music industry, e.g. people with just one name (Sting, Flea) and ones with more than they need (Jean-Michel Jarre, June Miles-Kingston). From 1st January Sting will be known as Michel Sting, Flea will be Miles Flea, and the other two Jean Jarre and June Kingston.
(Original inspiration from Alexei Sayle)
Edited for idiot autocorrect
(Original inspiration from Alexei Sayle)
Edited for idiot autocorrect
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All the great bass players have alliterative names or palindromic initials. James Jamerson, Pino Palladino, John Paul Jones... Several have dropped silent letters for pronunciation reasons such as Geddy Glee.
