Let's spread some musical misinformation

[Stumbo]

During the most recent technological advancements, Mathematicians, scientists and psychologists, while studying bassists, bass guitars, strings (flats, rounds, half -rounds) and bands in general, were able to establish several new types of theories: String Theory, Chaos Theory, Game Theory, Disputational Theory, Gear Acquisition Theory, and most importantly, a new law of physics: One good pluck deserves another.

Psychologists updated the DSM to include: Gear Acquisition Syndrome, Lead Singer Disease, Fired Drummer Syndrome, Vertical Speaker Cabinet Attachment Condition, Gxxtard Syndrome(now since removed), Suspended User Syndrome, Banned User Disease, Never Delivered Product Criminalization Syndrome, Mixing Cab Depressional Condition, How Come My Body Hurts Complaint Syndrome, Am I Too Old Depressional Condition, Tinnitus Chorus Attraction, Tube vs Solid State Mindmeld Dispossession.

There are a few more coming out so updates will be provided.

One day you're okay and the next day you're not. Good luck.

 

[zontar]

I grow blue potatoes, blue corn, and write bad blues songs. I have farmer friends who drive blue tractors. Our collective feelings are bruised.

Well technically those may be referred to as blue--but they are purple...
(Although sometiems they look blue)

 

[-Asdfgh-]

Short scale basses are young basses that will eventually grow to full size long scale basses.

You can tell the age by sawing the neck in half and counting the rings. In places with harder climates they take longer to mature which is why Geddy Lee likes old basses as they take that long to get to a 34" scale in Canada.

Bass VIs are just guitars that grew too fast.

The larval form of the bass is the ukelele.

 

[-Asdfgh-]

You can tell the age by sawing the neck in half and counting the rings. In places with harder climates they take longer to mature which is why Geddy Lee likes old basses as they take that long to get to a 34" scale in Canada.

Bass VIs are just guitars that grew too fast.

The larval form of the bass is the ukelele.

Bass cases are just chrysalises. If you open them too soon you may find the bass is just mush.

Some bass larvae, much like the axalotl fail to make the transition to an adult form. This also occurs in Mexico. These can also regenerate parts if removed, which is why bass factories moved to Mexico, as instruments there can be farmed for parts.

 

[ZenG]

The more jams and open-mics you attend the worse your bass playing will get as you condescend to play with noobs and wannabees over and over.

After one year of this you will walk away from bass playing forever and ragequit TalkBass.

 

[Jay2U]

The more jams and open-mics you attend the worse your bass playing will get as you condescend to play with noobs and wannabees over and over.

After one year of this you will walk away from bass playing forever and ragequit TalkBass.

...and start playing guitar.

 

[-Asdfgh-]

...and start playing guitar.

No, bridge is where it's at. "Take me to the bridge game", said James Brown. Then there was "seven bridge games" by The Nice. "Two card tables and a microphone", sang Beck.

 

[zontar]

Piano players know what they are doing at all times & never make mistakes...

 

[Jay2U]

Piano players know what they are doing at all times & never make mistakes...

Also, piano players never drink.

 

[Shannon]

Naturally the grand piano is the choice for portability too!

 

[Pops OB]

Piano players are nothing more than keyboard players that don't have electricity because they can't pay their bills.

 

[zontar]

The black keys were created when the first piano maker ran out of white paint.

 

[Jay2U]

A keyless piano is the equivalent of a fretless bass.

 

[Bad azz tone]

I've sold hundreds of basses to young beginners like your son/daughter,and I can assure you that the strings are MENT to be that far off of the neck,it builds hand strength!

 

[-Asdfgh-]

Also, piano players never drink.

But the piano includes a drink storage area. Most instruments do not. The name pee-ano obviously means pissed as a fart.

 

[-Asdfgh-]

Naturally the grand piano is the choice for portability too!
View attachment 2817535

High quality grand pianos have a 3hp engine to allow you to drive them between venues. Piano tuning refers to getting optimal performance from the engine.

 

[Jay2U]

High quality grand pianos have a 3hp engine to allow you to drive them between venues. Piano tuning refers to getting optimal performance from the engine.

I wish my cabs had engines, in order to be driven from and to the van. My basses could use some aviation technology, so they can hover at playing height.

 

[Boristhespyder]

I wish my cabs had engines, in order to be driven from and to the van. My basses could use some aviation technology, so they can hover at playing height.

Wouldn't a cab come with its own driver as well as engine?

 

[Stumbo]

Bass guitar is a good instrument for men, especially getting older, they naturally lose the mids and highs of their hearing.

 

[Pops OB]

Wouldn't a cab come with its own driver as well as engine?

Cabs are out, get an Uber, it delivers itself.