• TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
    Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
    Join freeLog in
    Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.

Let's spread some musical misinformation

It takes the human brain a finite amount of time to correctly identify pitch. So, if a bassist plays notes fast enough he can play virtually anything and nobody in the audience will know if he's playing the wrong notes.

The fast but lazy bassist can use this to his advantage because it means he will never have to rehearse or learn another song in his life. A really smart lazy bassist can even play white noise through his amp during a gig, and by also placing a life-size cardboard cutout of himself on stage he is free to drink, dance, mingle, arrange a post-gig hookup, etc., and still get paid! Its a win-win for everybody.
 
Last edited:
It takes the human brain a finite amount of time to correctly identify pitch. So, if a bassist plays notes fast enough he can play virtually anything and nobody in the audience will know if he's playing the wrong notes.

The fast but lazy bassist can use this to his advantage because it means he will never have to rehearse or learn another song in his life. A really smart lazy bassist can even play white noise through his amp during a gig, and by also placing a life-size cardboard cutout of himself on stage he is free to drink, dance, mingle, arrange a post-gig hookup, etc., and still get paid! Its a win-win for everybody.
Groupie-Accidentally-Sleeps-with-Bass-Player.jpg
 
It takes the human brain a finite amount of time to correctly identify pitch. So, if a bassist plays notes fast enough he can play virtually anything and nobody in the audience will know if he's playing the wrong notes.

The fast but lazy bassist can use this to his advantage because it means he will never have to rehearse or learn another song in his life. A really smart lazy bassist can even play white noise through his amp during a gig, and by also placing a life-size cardboard cutout of himself on stage he is free to drink, dance, mingle, arrange a post-gig hookup, etc., and still get paid! Its a win-win for everybody.
I say, I believe you just gave a wonderful definition of Jazz!
 
  • Like
Reactions: Imaginary Pony
That's a good one!
-----------------------

The first synthesizer was invented by Richard Wright in 1824 when he was partially successful in his attempt to create a time machine.

It only worked as a time displacement device once propelling him to the year 1962, where the machine suffered a slight malfunction rendering it only effective at making squeeky noises thereafter.
That was the sound of the Farfisa organ! That squeaky noise can be heard in many 60's tunes. A great example is 99 Tears by Question Mark and The Mysterians.
 
Watching a bass player is not going to give you an honest take on their playing, because you can't observe an object without influencing it.
Same goes with listening to music, especially recorded music. That's why it's always better to get another's opinion instead.
Live performances often are affected by observers. The effect can be so strong that tomatoes, eggs and beer are flying towards the band at relativistic speed.
 
Lysergic acid diethylamide is available at convenience stores for your convenience, but be sure to stay away from the brown acid that is not government tested. In the experience of most people, your bass playing will improve exponentially without any further need to waste money on gear. If you don't believe this, go ask Alice the Cooper; I think he'll know.

Should you experience a bad trip, sue the airline.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Jay2U
Watching a bass player is not going to give you an honest take on their playing, because you can't observe an object without influencing it.
Same goes with listening to music, especially recorded music. That's why it's always better to get another's opinion instead.
another Stephen hawking tidbit, bass players are quantum beings.