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Let's spread some musical misinformation

Percussionists percuss, which is an improvement over the usual cussing that drummers do.

Percuss is once per beat. But a scat singer is better than that as they can also syncopate. You just can't tell if what they are singing is actually cussing. It probably is in at least one language, living or dead, so you will be offending at least someone with your jazz, even if it is only an Etruscan or Klingon.
 
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CONCUSSION is where the drummer goes to smash his/her/its crash cymbal, but then doesn't; he/she/it repeats this a few times throughout the gig, but then one time hesitates and DOES hit the crash cymbal. It's a con game drummers will always win, at least in their minds.

So, this act of fake-hitting the crash, this is called cymbalism, cymballogically speaking.
When the drummer finally does hit the crash, this is known as a cymballogism: Your drummer has always pretended to hit the crash 'til now, but then actually hit the crash; therefore all drummers pretending to hit the crash will eventually really hit the crash.
 
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CONCUSSION is where the drummer goes to smash his/her/its crash cymbal, but then doesn't; he/she/it repeats this a few times throughout the gig, but then one time hesitates and DOES hit the crash cymbal. It's a con game drummers will always win, at least in their minds.

So, this act of fake-hitting the crash, this is called cymbalism, cymballogically speaking.
When the drummer finally does hit the crash, this is known as a cymballogism: Your drummer has always pretended to hit the crash 'til now, but then actually hit the crash; therefore all drummers pretending to hit the crash will eventually really hit the crash.

This is how we know Robert Langdon, in Dan Brown's books, must be a drummer.
 
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This is how we know Robert Langdon, in Dan Brown's books, must be a drummer.

If Dan Brown wrote music the chord progression would be I-I-I-I, each verse and chorus would be 4 bars, there would be 10 verses and choruses, there would be no bridge, it would be written in 1/1 time, and the lyrics would be one syllable words from a grade 3 spelling text.

Sorry, that wasn't misinformation.
 
If Dan Brown wrote music the chord progression would be I-I-I-I, each verse and chorus would be 4 bars, there would be 10 verses and choruses, there would be no bridge, it would be written in 1/1 time, and the lyrics would be one syllable words from a grade 3 spelling text.

Sorry, that wasn't misinformation.

You forgot to say you would also be able to work out all the details of the coda about ten bars in. And all the songs would reference the Catholic Church, a bit like early Jethro Tull and Jeffrey.
 
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Before the invention of steel bass strings, bass players would cut out their tendons from various parts of their bodies and tie those up. This is why bass players are known to get tendonitis. Of course, it's only a myth today, no one actually gets tendonitis anymore...
 
Before the invention of steel bass strings, bass players would cut out their tendons from various parts of their bodies and tie those up. This is why bass players are known to get tendonitis. Of course, it's only a myth today, no one actually gets tendonitis anymore...

This is all completely true, and the word 'tendonitis' came about when one bass player asked what type of strings were being used by his counterpart.
'Tendon?', he asked. To which the other bass player responded 'It is'. These words - 'tendon' and 'it is' - melded to become the word we're all familiar with today: Tendonitis.
 
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This is all completely true, and the word 'tendonitis' came about when one bass player asked what type of strings were being used by his counterpart.
'Tendon?', he asked. To which the other bass player responded 'It is'. These words - 'tendon' and 'it is' - melded to become the word we're all familiar with today: Tendonitis.
They only started using steel strings when medicine created steel tendon replacements for people who had lost their tendons. Bass players, not being the learning sort, took those out and put them on their basses, and realized that these new steel tendons sounded far better and did not come with the intense pain of maiming your wrists. Eventually they figured out they figured out they could buy the replacement tendons direct from the manufacturer, but because they were medical products of course they cost a massive amount of money. It was a long time before companies started manufacturing specifically for use on a bass.