I paid a lot of money for stuff guaranteed to rejuvenate my bass strings and it didn't work. The salesman told me it was snake oil and I'd ordered the wrong scale. Learn from my mistake when ordering your snake oil.
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Let's spread some musical misinformation
- Thread starter pklima
- Start date
And be careful cleaning your tub/shower--if you use a descaled to clean you could use your knowledge of & ability to play scales on your bass (Or any other instrument)
Snake oil is good for oiling snakes of all kinds. Lemon oil, which people use on fretboards, is really only for oiling lemons. For rosewood fretboards, you should be using rose oil. For maple fretboards, of course, use maple syrup.
So many people mispronounce his name. It is pronounced ee-mine-em.
And if it's flamed maple you need to set the syrup on fire. A 50-50 mixture of syrup and lighter fluid does nicely.
Don't be a bunch of saps, every Canuck knows the best time to get flamed maple is in the spring, in Quebec...
For slap and pop, you want the strings a bit sticky, use only fresh Tire Érable.
In a pinch you can use maple syrup to make the Tire Érable, but it's best to get it sourced fresh right from the tree before boiling down the strings in it.
Best Bean-tone...
As for the beans, best to use fresh snow peas AND back-bacon grease, but a smokey Habitant is better for ballads.
For slap and pop, you want the strings a bit sticky, use only fresh Tire Érable.
In a pinch you can use maple syrup to make the Tire Érable, but it's best to get it sourced fresh right from the tree before boiling down the strings in it.
Best Bean-tone...
As for the beans, best to use fresh snow peas AND back-bacon grease, but a smokey Habitant is better for ballads.
I'm starting to get worried that we're dealing with the same salesman and he might be slightly dishonest (he still hasn't told me which snake's scales match my 35" 5-string).
My bass is over 10lb, a real shoulder-killer, and he sold me some lighter fluid. I rubbed it in thoroughly and left it 24hrs after which the bass was still over 10lbs.
As a (naturalized) Canadian, I find this post extremely offensive. My grievances (in no particular order):
The best maple syrup does NOT come from Quebec.
The Quebec strategic maple syrup reserve has been compromised - hundreds of millions of litres are believed to be missing.*
Quebec tires are not made of maple syrup.
Tires in Quebec are "Pneu"
Maple Taffy is just maple syrup poured (hot) onto snow and served at cold temperatures so that it doesn't liquify too quickly. It is a means of getting children hooked on maple syrup early.
Back bacon (also called Canadian bacon) is just ham with a peameal coating and isn't greasy.
Beans have no place in maple syrup culture.
The only way to use maple syrup is on pancakes (the thick kind not what the French would call 'crepes'). It has no musical application beyond being an energy drink for long recording sessions at La Studio in Quebec. And La Studio is now abandoned, so you could argue no musical use at all.
* Not musical, and not misinformation - there is a strategic maple syrup reserve and it has been pilfered.
I'm not a snake oil salesman. I am just an enthusiastic endorser.
His birth certificate names him WeminWem, he and his sibling's dominating father having a fixation about Russian Dolls. Selma was nearly called Babushka but shortly before then their dad had declared his love for a woman of the same name who was actually his wife in disguise. After a lot of crockery throwing, their mother left him and she chose Selma for the girl's name.
WeminWem made a new start for himself in the US and tried the name Marshall but that was already taken.
A slide is a great tool to get those bluesy vibes from a guitar. If vibrato is required, a certain type of well lubricated battery powered 'slide' is advised.
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La Studio only appears "abandoned", they simply moved the studio itself down below into the bunker. They use the secret Maple Syrup Storage part of the bunker (well, now you know it's not missing) for a huge reverb tank. The Syrup makes the reverb sound extremely sweet, and if you record a string suite ... it's almost inedible, urh, inaudible.
I had NO idea he was born in West Edmonton Mall... that certainly explains A LOT!
Not music related, but people think ancient Greek statues show men throwing the discus, but they are just plates. Sometimes as decoration on plates, as a 'serving' suggestion. I'd suggest that banjos also come with such instructions on them, showing a man with a banjo and a zippo. Some people get it wrong and use them to make twanging noises.
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I agree. But I also want to point out the first scientific mention of boiling strings was by Brian Greene in his doctoral thesis on string theory.
Some more edification to fill your ornate decorative Greek-plates with knowledge...
The origin of the banjo comes from religion.
Alms collecting grew troublesome with passing the discus, ueh, plate... because as the pews got longer, near the middle, out of the watchful gaze of church elders, pewple were nicking a few more bob from the coffers than they were giving.
So the church devised to promote alter-boys & girls to alms-collectors, to hold on to the discus, I mean plates. By putting them on a long stick (the discu o plates), thus the alms-collectors could extend their reach to the middle of long pews.
Strings were soon added as less-than-honest church-goers were still pinching the moolah; the strings still allowed easy donation of alms while making it more tricky for extraction by sticky fingers.
Part of the alms-collectors' job was to extract the offerings after the service from the collection disci... plates-on-sticks — and they quickly noticed the strings made a noise when the offerings hit the strings as they were shook out of the dis... plates.
It wasn't long before the alms-collectors were having head-cutting sessions to see whose collector sounded best, and then things took a dark turn when they found they didn't even need the alms anymore to make sounds, but could instead use their fingers.
As with most services today, coffee was served afterwards in the basement to church patrons and the head-cutting and jam sessions were soon performed amongst the hangers-on swilling "cups of Jo". The cacophony of the stringed collection plates being played and gluttonous consumption of coffee became irreversibly conjointwined, and since the practice tended to detract from the preceding service...
Needless to say, the church authorities soon put a stop to the racket... and THAT chillen, is how the Banjo got its name...
BAN JO.
So you see, it wasn't invented in hell, but all banjo players will surely go there.
The origin of the banjo comes from religion.
Alms collecting grew troublesome with passing the discus, ueh, plate... because as the pews got longer, near the middle, out of the watchful gaze of church elders, pewple were nicking a few more bob from the coffers than they were giving.
So the church devised to promote alter-boys & girls to alms-collectors, to hold on to the discus, I mean plates. By putting them on a long stick (the discu o plates), thus the alms-collectors could extend their reach to the middle of long pews.
Strings were soon added as less-than-honest church-goers were still pinching the moolah; the strings still allowed easy donation of alms while making it more tricky for extraction by sticky fingers.
Part of the alms-collectors' job was to extract the offerings after the service from the collection disci... plates-on-sticks — and they quickly noticed the strings made a noise when the offerings hit the strings as they were shook out of the dis... plates.
It wasn't long before the alms-collectors were having head-cutting sessions to see whose collector sounded best, and then things took a dark turn when they found they didn't even need the alms anymore to make sounds, but could instead use their fingers.
As with most services today, coffee was served afterwards in the basement to church patrons and the head-cutting and jam sessions were soon performed amongst the hangers-on swilling "cups of Jo". The cacophony of the stringed collection plates being played and gluttonous consumption of coffee became irreversibly conjointwined, and since the practice tended to detract from the preceding service...
Needless to say, the church authorities soon put a stop to the racket... and THAT chillen, is how the Banjo got its name...
BAN JO.
So you see, it wasn't invented in hell, but all banjo players will surely go there.
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Some people rather snootily say that, if you use a pick/plectrum, you're not a real trumpet player.
To be fair, I've heard Carol Kaye on trumpet. She's awful.
To be fair, I've heard Carol Kaye on trumpet. She's awful.
Side effect is that the strings feel punished for their bad behavior, so they won't go bad again.
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