Make up some musical statistics

[6jase5]

100% of the notes that I play during live shows are perfect, in the pocket, and cause rugged men to weep openly.

 

[MartinG1957]

20% of all statistics are lies
40% of all statistics are damned lies
137.5% of all statistics are statistics

 

[JimB52]

Pete Wentz sucks only 99% of the time.

 

[SoVeryTired]

There are 10 types of bassist - those that understand binary notation and those that don't.

 

[paste]

This thread is 70.8% silly.

 

[the yeti]

my playing is so awesome that 70% of the women at my shows want to hook up with me.

92% of those are too shy to say anything.

 

[SoVeryTired]

98.3% of the notes I play are correct (+/- 3 semitones).

 

[bjabass]

Notes on a fretless bass are pitch correct 1.5367896234% of the time...only while sliding.

 

[Freight Train]

80% of bass playing is technique, the other half is how you play.

 

[Varcolac]

1% of drummers control 99% of the talent. Occupy the drumstool.

 

[pklima]

Of all the money earned by bassists worldwide, 0.3% is located above the 12th fret.

 

[Dollar2]

4 out of 5 bass players think that the other one is an idiot.

 

[Nev375]

THE LAW OF SKYNRD.

The odds of some random drunk in a bar requesting you play some Skynrd is only about 1% at the time you take the stage, however, that percentage increases by 3.14% cumulatively for every minute you are playing.

@ 30 mins = 2.5% chance
@ 60 mins = 6.2%
@ 90 mins = 15.6%
@ 120 mins= 39.7%
@ 130 mins= 54%
@ 140 mins= 73.6%
@ 150 mins= 100%

After 2 hours, the curve starts increasing quite dramatically so that 2.5 hours of playing there is absolutely no chance of leaving the stage without a Skynrd request of some kind.

*note: these statistics are based on an American nationwide average and bands in the Southeast US have much quicker acceleration of odds.

The Particular song requested Varies by region but in our local sample broke down like this by percentage:

"Free Bird" ........................36.0%
"Sweet Home Alabama" .......33.0
"Simple Man" ................8.4
"Gimme Three Steps" ........7.1
"Saturday Night Special" .......4.0
"What's Your Name?" ........3.1
"The Ballad of Curtis Loew" 2.8
"Call Me the Breeze" ........2.2
"That Smell" ................2.1
"Gimme Back My Bullets" 1.3

 

[Throckmorten]

I lie 100% of the time.

 

[Nev375]

99% of TRUE bass players use their fingers and if you tell that to a pick player like me there is a 99% chance of him giving you the finger.

 

[PlungerModerno]

Parsnips

 

[NoiseNinja]

I'm the best!

 

[Sixpack324]

95% of bassists use 66% of a guitar's strings, 38% of the time. This, compounded with the escalation rate of 12.5%, yields an exponential equivalent of 56.76% of strings, 45% of the time. The remaining 55% is split appropriately between 34% of the bass players, 22% of the guitar players, an astonishing 41% of fans and a meager 3% of establishment employees.

This radically changes with the inception of GAS. GAS immediately raises the ratio exponentially. GAS causes 66% of the strings to increase by 17% (+/- 1%) which, naturally, increases the remaining balance of percentages by 12.25%, on average, with ratio spikes of 5%-7% occurring on occasion.

Once a sound man is introduced to the equation, the GAS is counter-balanced to the extent of 14.25%. This does not effect the corresponding collateral percentages at face value, but 21.89% of the time, it reduces the 100% division factor by a factor of 39.45% to the 3rd power, as another product is entered into the equation approximately 4% of the time.

These percentages should be used with care, as they are only proven to be accurate to within .3347%, a rate that needs to be compounded daily for 43% of the duration time of the evaluation.

While it is a given that these numbers are 100% mendacious, care should also be given to ensure that you use these appropriately in 30%-40% of all bass-related equations. This will result in a success rate of near 100% (+/- 92%) when trying to disorient the average reader.

The average reader will only read about 10% of the material, though. To counteract this phenomena, increase all of the figures by at least a factor of 86% during the first attempt, with smaller increases in the range of 37%-56% in subsequent attempts.

Be well and use these figures at your own risk.

 

[String Theory]

80% of bassists are dissatisfied with their current gear. The other 20% aren't on TB.

 

[Fishheadjoe]

There is a 100% chance that the crappy, beer soaked bar you just played your guts out for the last four hours will try and stiff you on your fee...
Fishheadjoe