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married guys i need your help

#63
Joshua said:
I assumed nothing, and quite frankly have no idea why you assumed I did. My post makes no mention of any of the above.

I merely suggested a very plausible scenario that could have resulted from the lack of communication on such financial items, and asked Bluesdog's thoughts on it.
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Plausible based on certain assumptions or taking certain things for granted...you're right you assumed nothing.
 
#64
Diggler said:
No, because then I'd be lying! She's under 120 lbs.

She'll say she's 'getting fat', and I'll say no, there's maybe only 10 lbs or so all over that she could afford to lose, but she looks great, which is the truth.
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afford to lose, translation, you think she's fat. :D
 
#65
Joshua said:
So what happens if you go to pay for junior's car and find that your wife spent the money on something she wanted without telling you?

Communication is what prevents just those kinds of "surprises"...
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Actually I agree that communication is crucial in a relationship, but not the small minded , control issues, and self important ones, If this bloke wants to hide somthing about buying this rig it'll be the ammount he's spending, and this may be beacuse the relationship has already faultered and he doesn't want to add to the communal property his new rig. I don't know. The original post said he could afford it .

Actually I like a little surprise now and then, and it has happened; e.g. She went to an auction from a furniture manufacturer who was mooving show rooms and got a great deal on a leather lounge suite ; when I got home the old one was out on the verandah, The new one is great and perfectly suited and really comfortable.It was about 3.5 k and about a third of retail, and I was really proud of her astute buying prowess.

Having said that ; we're both really tight with money and rarely spend money wastefully and I don't have a heap of bass gear around the place, but if I wanted a new rig I'd buy it .
 
#67
well he has decided to buy the rig, and not tell her. either way i dont care, i just want my money for a rig he has been using for 2+months. this is the main # 1 reason i stay single. i earn money and i damn sure will spend it however and whenever i feel like it. he has a good job, makes a boatload of money and takes care of his family. if he wants to buy my rig, i dont care how he does it, as long as he does it.
 
#68
davetakis said:
well he has decided to buy the rig, and not tell her. either way i dont care, i just want my money for a rig he has been using for 2+months. this is the main # 1 reason i stay single. i earn money and i damn sure will spend it however and whenever i feel like it. he has a good job, makes a boatload of money and takes care of his family. if he wants to buy my rig, i dont care how he does it, as long as he does it.
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I agree with those sentiments. As a guy happily doing 15 to life, so far, I'd confer with the warden before I'd make a major purchase, but it IS NOT your job to keep their marriage blissful and honest. If I was selling something, and a guy had cash in hand, I wouldn't give a gnat's nut if he discussed with his wife or not. As for you earning money and spending it any way you please, I have to tell you, things change when you're married. As long as you're single, go man go.
 
#69
davetakis said:
well he has decided to buy the rig, and not tell her. either way i dont care, i just want my money for a rig he has been using for 2+months. this is the main # 1 reason i stay single. i earn money and i damn sure will spend it however and whenever i feel like it. he has a good job, makes a boatload of money and takes care of his family. if he wants to buy my rig, i dont care how he does it, as long as he does it.
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If he really takes care of his family and makes a "boatload" of money, then why is he afraid to be a man and discuss this with his wife? If what you say is true, then what is his problem?

I think there's more to his story than what we're being told...
 
#70
ElBajista said:
If he really takes care of his family and makes a "boatload" of money, then why is he afraid to be a man and discuss this with his wife? If what you say is true, then what is his problem?

I think there's more to his story than what we're being told...
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Agreed. This type of behavior is not synomous (sp?) with married life, but rather with a marriage that has issues on some level.
 
#75
davetakis said:
ok folks this is getting a little convaluted here. we have all hidden purchases from our spouses, except me as i'm single. it's just a fact of life. i've never met a married couple that hasnt done this to some degree or another. sorry fact of life. this is not about whether their marriage is strong or not. they have been married for 20+ years, kids blah blah blah. no marital problems. maybe i'll work out a payment plan with him. jeeze this was mor of a joke than anything. i didnt mean to ruffle any feathers.
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Wrong, I have never done this. I am man enough to do what I'm going to do and not hide it

To the original poster, tell your friend to stop being such a wus.:rolleyes:
 
#76
tZer said:
Billy said it best... "Honesty... is such a lonely word... everyone is so untrue...."
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"...and mostly what I need from you!..."

After that, find a way to show it paying for itself. I've gotten gear while gigging and used the gig money to pay back the house account after it comes in. Other than that; trades work. Just traded "up" for a Warwick, and had enough of a trade to do it without any money changing hands. Just a few thoughts...;)
 
#80
Let me just share that with wife number one, it got to the point where the above described behavior might have come into play on a couple of occasions. I agree with those responders that this is probably a symptom of a doomed marriage.

With my current wife, there is very open and honest discussion regarding finances. Of course, one of the reasons we are married is we see eye to eye on finances and in fact have separate bank accounts for "your, mine, and our" money. So really, I don't need permission to spend my "mad money" but something this large, I would still run it by her before the deal was done.

As a good friend, I would just do the deal and keep my trap shut.

My $0.02
 

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