I was doing a little researching today and I ran across this: in order to be twice as loud you need 10 times as much watts to acheive it. Any opinions on that? So that means my 450watt head is only twice as loud as a 45watt one?
------Assuming all else is the same and the only difference being the amplifier power then yes, that's true.----
I'm kinda stuck sideways on the add a cab situation, I have a 1200watt 410, good headroom I guess but its 4 ohm. Couldnt pass up the Behringer deal, $260 I paid for it. Sounds great, cant complain. But I guess I cant just plug in another cab now since this ones 4 ohm right? The Behringer 450watt head is rated at 4 ohm, I havent found where it says dont run two 4 ohm cab but I assume that I shouldnt. Maybe I should have saved the $260 and put it against an 810.
-----Adding speakers is another way to get louder. A pair of 410's on the same amp will be a good deal louder than one of them. 4ohms is the minimum on your amp, that means one 4ohm cab or two 8ohm cabs. Could be you're having problems with boundry cancellation too. Has to do with soundwaves bouncing off walls, floor, ceiling etc. and how they meet. Wherever you're standing on stage could be a bad spot for that causing you to turn up whereas 20-30ft. out in the room you might be drowning out the band.-----
-----Don't expect your bass to sound like it does in the car, it won't. Car audio benefits from cabin gain, that's enough cone displacing enough air in a small enough space to actually change the air pressure in the listening environment (the inside of the car). To accomplish that in something the size of a small club you'd need a stadium size subwoofer rig. If you do make it work, you won't be asked back.

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I'll probably back away from volume thing and start looking at PA systems. I've been married for two years and last night discovered my wife can sing practically thing, didnt know that previously

and being in my first band I have discovered good singers are hard to come by. I have heard husband/wife deals in bands are almost always a bad deal in bands. Learning as I go along...