this is gonna sound like a rant, as well as be kinda "religious", but only to illustrate the difference between church and music as two different things. -- I don't even think this topic should be in "Bass Humor and Gig Stories" since, unless a person is in a professional paid music director position, it's really not a gig, and it's mostly about working in ministry, which isn't a music gig either.
(feel free to delete this)
wow. same old issues that I've see for yeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaarrrrrrrrs in church with musicians. I was in the realm for 25 years. I experienced it in my own ways, as well as watched other people on both sides, musicians and directors, constantly battle one another over personal turf. That's what this is, a turf war. And sorry to say, anytime such a thing pops up in church, whether it be with a music minister or a musician - I hate to say it but, it's some degree of ego - on both sides.
I've been the MD and I've been the musician and the only conclusion that I could draw after too many years of seeing these conflicts is - It's not all about that bass. It's not about the bass player, or the MD's left hand or left feet, or a musician's years of seniority in service, or the new director's trying to fulfill his commission by carelessly taking control. But that's what's happening on both sides of your equation, and on both sides, it's the wrong power play.
This isn't accusation, it's just human and it's just normal. It's something observed and experienced by myself - as guilty and innocent bystander - that is constantly all too common - sooner or later.
First off, I don't think God needs or cares about music ministers or worship bands. Praise doesn't need the modern human worship construct to be pleasing to God, it just needs loving hearts for God and for one another - not turf, low frequency or otherwise. If it gets to be about anything other than gratitude to God, as a gift freely given, without ego, in a pure posture of service and loving one another (can't i say this?) Eff it all.
When I played on Sundays, all I wanted to do was disappear and pour out my heart for an audience of One - playing or not playing. That's how I worshipped in the language of music that I best spoke my heart and gratitude in. I don't know if it was right or pleasing to God, but it was the best I could do. It wasn't to lift up the people (that's the Holy Spirit's job), it wasn't to be in the MD's back up band, it wasn't to "own" my sonic space, it wasn't to "play it like the record" or have my carnal brain stressed out about "my parts" being stepped on. God need's none of it, if God needs at all.
I was there to yield and serve in respect of the order of things. As a player, that meant, respecting the office of the MD as a leader over me (and some of those cats were far less qualified). That didn't mean being a doormat, but it did mean laying down my ego and doing my best to serve the vision that they were entrusted and called to in their office of music minister and worship leader. Sometimes the MDs were wrong and arrogant jerks; and that, in turn, made me act like one as well. But they were the MD, not me, so I had to adjust and be a christian about it, which was really freekin' hard sometimes.
I didn't always like it or agree with it; and when it got to the point where I was taking it too personally, it was time for me to step down. It didn't even necessarily mean that the MD, the church, or even I, was doing anything wrong, it was just humans struggling to deal with a changing situation. For me letting go was the right thing to do.
Don't misunderstand, I DO feel for your dilemma, I've lived it. It sucks. These sorts of conflicts are borne on human attitudes. Many is the time I've seen the new MD come in and slash-and-burn the old guard, people who served selflessly and faithfully for years and years. I think it's wrong, because people get hurt. I know there are better ways to learn to reason together if both sides can trust one another and work for the common cause - which isn't about the music at all.
-- As a metaphor: How many parents could enjoy their kids celebrating their wedding anniversary if the kids are fighting with each other and pulling all the attention and "glory" of the moment to themselves and turning it into a conflict? Such ego would ruin the moment and the celebration of their years of loving each other. -- So how can we expect something like communal worship to be pleasing to God when "we" are making the moment of P&W about us, or casting sideways glances at the other guy because he's on my turf ?
---The WD probably has done things on the organ the way he does them for a while, and sees that method as the way he worships best, like you feel about how you do things. But even though he's new to you, and you have turf seniority, one mustn't forget that he's had a history before you met of music, training, maybe a license in ministry, maybe he's really called to be there... I don't know - but, just because he's younger, and maybe he is a little power-tripping in his new position of authority as given office by the pastor... but that's where choosing to love one another, preferring one another before yourself, being patient, kind, long suffering, and being a servant, comes in. Because playing in church has nothing to do with music, it's about ministering in service before God and one another. We decrease so He can increase, as the saying goes.
If the WD or any musician is in it for the gig, or to play on stage, then playing in church is just a surrogate for gigging and performance - which praise and worship isn't. Not even close. -- Yes, when one plays for worship, one does "perform" one's best, but not for the "audience" in the pews, or for their own position; and not for the sake of being a tight band and having a good sunday gig. When that happens, it's a gift that we don't own.
Instead, it's about getting the focus on God alone, anything else is out of place. It's ministry, not music. It's worship of God, not performance. It's clean hands, pure heart. First fruits, an offering without blemish. Isn't it?
If it means all of this to you, then it's worth putting down your lo freq guns and maybe asking the WP for help, one on one, as fellow servants, how you might serve better under this circumstance. In kindness and humility, let him know that you're not sure how to play under his methods. No animosity. It's just 2 people with 2 different orientations - him from his prior background and experience - which is valid - and you with yours - which is equally valid.
There are always compromises.
But there are also seasons to everything, and this seems to be, for better or worse, one of change in your church. How many years have you had the joy of doing it your way? These new seasons happen all the time and it's not always easy to adjust to. I endured many until I hit my last one and it was time for me to let go. I'm not saying that's you.
You might be able to tell that the whole topic is frustrating to me. Ideally, I see it as something that shouldn't ever happen in the church - the musician vs ministry tension that you're experiencing. But for as along as forever, it seems, neither side "gets" it. Ministry folks want to do a fresh new program that will suit their own personal interests toward making the church fun for people (and themselves) and help the church grow, and hopefully see God show up -- and musicians want self expression in music regarding their faith, while wanting it to always be fun and fulfilling to them as players.
For both parties, those are the standard human aims. But when you get down to worship and praise, which is supposed to be "in spirit and in truth" and a situation where "God inhabits the praises of His people", what do those ministry/musician things have to do with that???? If church people aren't functioning in humility and service in spirit and in truth, then God (biblically speaking) isn't likely to be inhabiting. So what's the point?
I couldn't deal with it, or myself in it anymore.
"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal."
Church isn't a gig, it's ministering to God, so God can show up and inhabit.
The good news is, you have your past season of doing it your way, plus you have the whole world outside of that church to keep on doing it your way. Since you do get a stipend, and you're under the new MD, for as long as you agree to be in your roll, you're in a servant position. But truth be told, I strongly believe that the the WD is called to be the servant of all, enabling those under him to do their best.
That's biblical.
