Movie reviews (rant)

[Killed_by_Death]

What movie goer wants to read that kind of crap?

Pretentious artsy fartsy types who have read those novels, LOL!

 

[Frank Tuesday]

I can't stand over-wrought movie reviews. Often I read them and am left with (1) no information at all about whether I would like the movie and (2) a sense that the reviewer was just writing to congratulate himself on the sophistication of his tastes.

For example (not the worst but the first that comes to mind), here's the first sentence of a review of a 1982 film called Who Dares Wins:
"Why not watch this reactionary anti‑CND action thriller while imagining it is actually a Comic Strip parody and pretending it stars Keith Allen instead of Lewis Collins?"

I don't know what CND is, what Comic Strip was, or who Keith Allen and Lewis Collins are. What a cultural illiterate I must be! I'm so ashamed!

I know you spent a lot of money on your college degree, Mr. Reviewer, and I'm sorry your career didn't turn out like you wanted. You'd rather be writing screenplays for millions of dollars instead of writing 200 word reviews for a free weekly paper. I get it. But, when I read a movie review, all I want to know is whether to spend two hours of my life watching the movie. OK? I don't want to be impressed by your vocabulary or your obscure literary references. Is it funny, is the story interesting, are the visuals creative, are there any hot chicks. That's what I want to know.

/rant

Given that it is an early '80s movie titled "Who Dares Wins", I'm going to guess that CND is Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament. I'm going to guess that the movie is about winning the Cold War via large scale military intervention rather than by diplomatic means.

 

[hrodbert696]

All movie reviewers had better have Gene's sense of flair or I'm not listening...

 

[ZenG]

Well...if you have to have somebody else decide what you like for you..

 

[Luke19Boarder]

I don't usually pay attention to singular reviews ... I'm more likely to find an aggregate review site and see what multiple people are saying about a film/show/album/etc.

 

[zontar]

I don't listen to whether they like the movie or not, but why or why not.
I've heard reviews where the reviewer hated the movie--and they said shy--and I thought--"Hmm, I think i'd like it then"--and I did.
I've heard reviews where they loved the movie--but their reasons told me I wouldn't like it.
And if I had the misfortune to see the movie--I've found I was right.