I know and gig with numerous working pro's in the NYC area who sit in on gigs on an ad-hoc basis. None of them bats an eye over having a music stand on stage. Neither does the band leader.
I was also at the Love for Levon concert at the Meadowlands in New Jersey, last night. The house bass player and co-music director for the night was Don Was. He, as well as all of the horn players, HAD MUSIC STANDS on stage.
The moral of the story? Making sure the music is right is the over-riding consideration. A music stand is a minor visual. I'd much rather that than someone fumbling their way through a song.
nortonrider - some pros use music stands. Agreed?