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"My" drummer?

#61
I don't disagree that the US as a whole is the most individualistic and, in turn, least collectivist culture. I don't think this is a situation of self possession delusion, though. I think it's an idiom that may result from individualism. Let's not pretend that the UK is this selfless and totally collectivist society, though. That's just disingenuous.
 
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#62
nnnnnn said:
Interesting. What are the other categories?
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PDI = Power Distance Index
MAS = Masculinity
UAI = Uncertainty Avoidance
LTO = Long Term Orientation

The description of what these mean can be found at clearlycultural.com.

Im only familiar with the individualism rating, as I had very recently heard about it when discussing the individualistic nature of the US and other western world cultures.
 
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#64
Let's also clarify that there's much more nuance to people than American or British, Inidivualistic or Collectivist, or any other way of labeling people. There's brands of individualism that are certainly all about self preservation and caring little for others, and there's brands of it that are just sub conscious and still care for others and sacrifice for the marginalized. I know a ton of people in both categories and all along rh spectrum between.
 
#65
There's a great anecdote in Keith Richards' autobiography about this. In some interview, Mick Jagger referred to Charlie Watts as "my drummer." After it was published, Jagger gets a knock on his hotel door. He opens it to find Watts (dressed in full suit and tie). Watts punches Jagger in the face and starts dragging him toward the window (to throw him out). "Don't you ever call me 'your' drummer again," Watts says. "I'm the drummer for the Rolling Stones." Richards writes that the only reason Jagger wasn't tossed out the window is that Keith grabbed his pant leg while talking Watts out of his rage.

That was the last time Jagger called Watts his drummer.
 
#67
I'm with you OP

Personally I just think it sounds tacky

And unless you pay me a salary, we work together, I don't work for you.....so, it's "our" band not yours, and members should be mentioned as such
 
#69
The only time I minded being called "my" musician was about 12 years ago. I was looking to get out of a very part time go nowhere cover band. At one audition, it turned out the 2 BL's knew each other.

The audition went well and the band liked my playing, then 2 days later I get a call from the current BL who opens the call by asking "Why is my bass player auditioning with other bands?". I told him for one he doesn't own me, two we aren't getting a retainer not to, and three we aren't playing quality gigs.

Other than that, I think the emphasis on needing to measure words against someone else's potential perception of what's meant is getting a bit out of hand these days.
 
#70
I can see using both, depending on context. If you and I were talking and I said ‘our drummer’ it would seem to imply a drummer who works with both you and me, so I would tend to use ‘my’ by default.

On the other hand, if you said something about your band’s drummer, I might reply with ‘our drummer’ with emphasis to distinguish from (plural) ‘your drummer.’
 
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#71
bassobrutto said:
Over the ten years or so I have been visiting this site, it is hard not to notice how often people refer to their bandmates as "my" drummer, "my" guitarist, "my" singer, etc. As a Brit, I would always say "our" drummer, etc., because a band is obviously a "we" not an "I." To my ear, "my" drummer sounds like a kind of servant, someone who shows up to drum for me personally whenever I happen to need a few beats in my life. I click my fingers and he is magically there with me, pounding the skins, whether I am in the woodshed, driving to work, or walking the dog. So why do people talk like this? Is this just America's legendary "rugged individualism" speaking?
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You mean he's not my servant?

I actually just replied to another thread saying "our drummer"... where I usually say "my drummer."

It depends on how I feel at the moment... If I'm thinking of him as a partner in the band I may say "my drummer," but sometimes opt for "our."

If I were the leader of the band I would probably say "my drummer" more often, which wouldn't be anymore of saying he's a servant than saying "my doctor or my plumber"...
 
#73
One time my old band was out and about and we encountered some folks in another local band (a self proclaimed dippy punk band) mentioning they were looking for a bass player. The drummer said, "We just stole our bassist here from a dippy punk band."

Then the guy said, "Well, maybe we'll steal him from you."

That's when our singer (an attractive female) immediately stepped in and exclaimed, "My bassist! You can't have him!"

So, in that case, the singer using "my" bassist worked.
 
#75
I kind of understand the OP's point, but I still say "my" (insert appropriate position here)...

In the last band I was in, when people would find out what band I played in, they would say "ohhhh, your in Will's band!", to which I would reply, "No. He's in MY band!"

:cool:

BnB
 
#77
bassobrutto said:
Why do you take this to be a passive-aggressive insult, if speaking of "my" drummer when referring to your band's drummer, even when you are not the BL or handpicking that drummer for a project, seems entirely natural or normal to you, as it plainly is for many on here? It's only an insult if you think being a rugged individualist is actually something to be ashamed of...
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It's passive aggressive for the same reason that something like "monarchy worshipping Brits who view the Queen's English as superior", and put it in quotes, would be passive-aggressive. That being said, I agree with your original post and I'm American. "My" drummer, guitarist, singer, etc... sounds very odd to me. It may be a little different if I were a clear band leader and the other folks were hired guns for a tour or something.
 

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