I'm simply pointing out that the OP in calling this arrogant is simply displaying his own arrogance.
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"My" drummer?
- Thread starter bassobrutto
- Start date
I'm simply pointing out that the OP in calling this arrogant is simply displaying his own arrogance.
I suspect it’s more akin to an arbitrary difference in meaning, kinda like being pissed.
I use the word my when discussing a personal or musical relationship with a fellow player. That has nothing to do with proprietorship. It is used to illustrate an individual relationship. For instance: “Your my friend”. If your act is a duo, would you describe your guitar player as our.
When discussing the whole band and how this player fits into the concept of band, I use our as the situation involves more than the two people
As for being an individualist, being “rugged” has little to do with individualism. Heaven knows this slightly paunchy 67 year old could hardly be described as rugged. Dogged maybe a better qualifier, unless you think us Yanks are still clawing their way to existence in the new world. LOL! Cheers.
“Our” implies ownership in exactly the same way that “my” does.
If I were single, it would be “my house.” Since I am married, it is “our house”. I see no difference there other than singular vs collective possession/ownership.
And either way it is just idiomatic speech for “the drummer I play with in our band”, shorthand for “our band’s drummer“ or “my band’s drummer”. The band is collectively ours, but also singularly mine - not solely mine, but mine nonetheless.
It isn't really ownership. It's more about whom the drummer drums for, whom he or she has the primary relationship with. Here's what I think the difference is. For some of us, saying "my drummer" means the drummer drums for me personally and specifically (the way a friend is a friend to you personally and specifically), and "our drummer" means the drummer drums for us (ie, the band). In a band, for the most part, the second usage seems more appropriate and respectful than the first. If I'm in a band with other musicians, I'm not the guitarist's personal bassist, or the singer's, or the drummer's, or the keyboardist's, or the sax player's; I'm the band's bassist.
But again, I do think this is pretty minor on the great scale of things. I personally do find the "my" usage mildly annoying, but I, like most people, have many more important annoyances just about every day. I only post about this because isolation is boring.
Good day...it's called cultural awareness, and its not just for Americans,and America.
So you didn’t make it to the second part of my post where I described it as idiomatic and said everything you said?
No offense, but I don't think you did exactly. You said there was no difference between "my" and "our" in terms of ownership, and I said there was a difference and it wasn't about ownership. Complementary, perhaps, but not identical. Either way, no biggie. Carry on.
I don't know if this has been mentioned by anyone in here and I'm summarising the account quite a bit, but there's a Rolling Stones story about Mick Jagger speaking to Charlie Watts and referring to him as 'My drummer.' The story goes that Charlie punched him in the face and said, 'You're my singer and don't you forget it.'
But yes, I tend to use the word 'our' or, in a duo situation, 'the (instrumentalist/vocalist) I work with'
But yes, I tend to use the word 'our' or, in a duo situation, 'the (instrumentalist/vocalist) I work with'
OP was arguing that “our” didn’t imply ownership, if you read the post I originally quoted.
OP was right ... to an extent. True, "our" usually implies ownership, but not always. We own "our" basses (I hope!), but we don't own "our" friends. Sometimes "our"--or "my" for that matter--means something more like having a specific relationship to. Which is why I said there was a difference between the two in this context and why it wasn't about ownership.
Well, I am an American and I don't like "My drummer" except when the bandleader is someone of stature and everyone else is clearly a hired gun.
If you're playing for Miles Davis, you're "his drummer". If you're playing in a weekend-warrior five piece where the bandleader is the bandleader because he owns the PA and is the most willing to hustle gigs, you're not "his drummer".
If you're playing for Miles Davis, you're "his drummer". If you're playing in a weekend-warrior five piece where the bandleader is the bandleader because he owns the PA and is the most willing to hustle gigs, you're not "his drummer".
When I'm around those in the band speaking to others whom are not in the band or speaking to the other band members without the drummer present I say the term "our drummer". When I'm around people that are not in the band and no other band members are present and I'm speaking about the drummer to someone I generally say "my drummer" because most people know my drummer is the guy in the band. But do I actually have anyone to call..."my drummer" no because I don't have a person that I can call my personal drummer. I'd like to have one though.
I've never given thought to it. I call them my drummer, just as I'd call them "my" bandmate. Simple.
Seem to be a whole lot of inferiority complex amongst us. If you are comfortable and confident in your position it doesn't matter what anyone calls you.
Full dislcosure: I am American. According to Ancestry.com, I am descended almost completely from immigrants from the British Isles, and mostly England. I spent a couple of months of medical school training in the UK and I have visited many times. I adore my son-in-law and his parents and siblings, who are from a small town near London. I consider myself an Anglophile, and keep fairly current with British events.
That said, I enjoy the small differences between American and British cultures. I find them endearing. I think your concern adds context to the old Charlie Watts-Mick Jagger tale that has been mentioned above. I have been called "my bass player", "my doctor", "my forward", and "my left fielder". I considered them all terms of positive association and have felt welcomed when people have chosen to claim me as their associate. It has never once occurred to me that someone was claiming to possess or own me, and I'm pretty sure it never occurred to the person making those statements.
The only one who might have possesssion in mind is "my wife", because I certainly do belong to her.
I think the premise of the OP is amusing, but I don't quite get the intransigence. It suggests that rather than enjoying these cultural differences, the OP is of the opinion that the British way is proper and the Yanks have it all wrong. I do wonder how you refer to "your" doctor. If you do refer to him or her as "my doctor", do you think he is of the opinion that you think you own him? I'd say you are painting with a rather broad brush here, mate.
Digging in on this seems to be making a
out of a
That said, I enjoy the small differences between American and British cultures. I find them endearing. I think your concern adds context to the old Charlie Watts-Mick Jagger tale that has been mentioned above. I have been called "my bass player", "my doctor", "my forward", and "my left fielder". I considered them all terms of positive association and have felt welcomed when people have chosen to claim me as their associate. It has never once occurred to me that someone was claiming to possess or own me, and I'm pretty sure it never occurred to the person making those statements.
The only one who might have possesssion in mind is "my wife", because I certainly do belong to her.
I think the premise of the OP is amusing, but I don't quite get the intransigence. It suggests that rather than enjoying these cultural differences, the OP is of the opinion that the British way is proper and the Yanks have it all wrong. I do wonder how you refer to "your" doctor. If you do refer to him or her as "my doctor", do you think he is of the opinion that you think you own him? I'd say you are painting with a rather broad brush here, mate.
Digging in on this seems to be making a
out of a
We one says “our drummer” to another it would suggest that the drummers works with both of us.. We rugged individuals here in Land of Liberty understand that the person with whom we may be conferring may themselves have freely elected to work with an entirely different drummer, so in order to differentiate between the two drummers we would say “my drummer”, or “your drummer” when discussing which of the two drummers is attempting to (ahem) borrow money.
It should be noted that when discussing the drummer with a common musician (common as in one with whom another shares joint interest) we would just say something along the lines of: “Did (Mike) pay you back”? as opposed to “Did (our/my drummer) pay you back the money he borrowed last week?” as we tend to have high regard for drummer Mike’s said rugged individualism.
BTW, to the OP, could you bring me “our bass”.. thanks comrade.
It should be noted that when discussing the drummer with a common musician (common as in one with whom another shares joint interest) we would just say something along the lines of: “Did (Mike) pay you back”? as opposed to “Did (our/my drummer) pay you back the money he borrowed last week?” as we tend to have high regard for drummer Mike’s said rugged individualism.
BTW, to the OP, could you bring me “our bass”.. thanks comrade.
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