I love the look of the road worn Fenders but I come from the play it to wear it camp, unfortunately thanks to the modern materials used in today's instruments you would have to play your new bass or guitar for a hundred years to get the mojo of a well used 70's era piece. Enter the Inventor's mind I have developed the concept for the four piece Mojo kit, now it will be possible to naturally get the road worn look simply by using your guitar or bass while using my patent pending accessories.
#1.) The Rash-Master belt buckle.
You wear pants while you play,don't you? How do you hold these pants up? If you answered Suspenders you probably wont buy my kit anyway, but if you answered A belt this product is for you! It is called the Rash-Master belt buckle. With 365 small sharp randomly placed points this buckle will create a years worth of belt buckle rash on the back side of your instrument each time you use it. After 40 uses the back of your bass will look like a bass played since the 70's by a Rodeo Champion.
#2.) The Sandpaper Sports-coat
Hey its Winter time here in the good old U.S.A. so you need to wear a jacket, why not add a touch of class and wear my newly designed Sandpaper Sports-coat. The Sandpaper Sports-coat is a classy casual gentleman's sports-coat with interchangeable sandpaper pads attached by Velcro to the right sleeve and the belly area. Replacement sandpaper pads can be purchased in various grit levels to custom tailor (bad pun intended) you sports-coat to your desired wear level. Optional shop-vac attachment will keep the stage floor at gigs free of sanding dust.
#3.) The Relic-Case
It is always a good idea to carry your instrument in a hard case to keep it from getting accidentally damaged, but a real road worn instrument will have its share of bumps and bruises, enter the Relic-Case. The Relic-case is an instrument hard-case with a built in Random latch trapdoor mounted in the bottom. The beauty of this case is the microprocessor controlled ground penetrating radar. It would be a waste of your time if the case randomly dropped your bass on the three inch thick stinky shag carpet at the rehearsal room, that's why we have installed sensors to detect ground conditions hard enough to give you instrument real mojo. Drop the Bass more often than Shrillex with the Relic-Case
#4.) Mojo-Mounts
The other accessories in my kit address the wear typically found on a well loved instrument but your chrome still looks brand new, Mojo-Mounts will help you get the final part of the look, corrosion. Mojo mounts will allow you to mount your instrument to the undercarriage of your vehicle because nothing says road worn like road dirt, and the best place to find road dirt is the underside of a car. The length of time you should leave the instrument mounted to the bottom of your car varies by region and time of year. For example if you live in Michigan and its winter time one hour of driving on the salted roads could simulate 40 years of corrosion, but if you are in Texas you may have to leave your bass attached to the bottom of your car for 9-10 months to achieve the desired effect. Mojo-Mounts have a secure padlock locking mechanism to deter the thieves looking under your car for musical instruments to steal.
So that's the rundown for my Idea don't try to steal it because that would be wrong, and your products would create bad Mojo because of it.
Investors.... anyone....?
#1.) The Rash-Master belt buckle.
You wear pants while you play,don't you? How do you hold these pants up? If you answered Suspenders you probably wont buy my kit anyway, but if you answered A belt this product is for you! It is called the Rash-Master belt buckle. With 365 small sharp randomly placed points this buckle will create a years worth of belt buckle rash on the back side of your instrument each time you use it. After 40 uses the back of your bass will look like a bass played since the 70's by a Rodeo Champion.
#2.) The Sandpaper Sports-coat
Hey its Winter time here in the good old U.S.A. so you need to wear a jacket, why not add a touch of class and wear my newly designed Sandpaper Sports-coat. The Sandpaper Sports-coat is a classy casual gentleman's sports-coat with interchangeable sandpaper pads attached by Velcro to the right sleeve and the belly area. Replacement sandpaper pads can be purchased in various grit levels to custom tailor (bad pun intended) you sports-coat to your desired wear level. Optional shop-vac attachment will keep the stage floor at gigs free of sanding dust.
#3.) The Relic-Case
It is always a good idea to carry your instrument in a hard case to keep it from getting accidentally damaged, but a real road worn instrument will have its share of bumps and bruises, enter the Relic-Case. The Relic-case is an instrument hard-case with a built in Random latch trapdoor mounted in the bottom. The beauty of this case is the microprocessor controlled ground penetrating radar. It would be a waste of your time if the case randomly dropped your bass on the three inch thick stinky shag carpet at the rehearsal room, that's why we have installed sensors to detect ground conditions hard enough to give you instrument real mojo. Drop the Bass more often than Shrillex with the Relic-Case
#4.) Mojo-Mounts
The other accessories in my kit address the wear typically found on a well loved instrument but your chrome still looks brand new, Mojo-Mounts will help you get the final part of the look, corrosion. Mojo mounts will allow you to mount your instrument to the undercarriage of your vehicle because nothing says road worn like road dirt, and the best place to find road dirt is the underside of a car. The length of time you should leave the instrument mounted to the bottom of your car varies by region and time of year. For example if you live in Michigan and its winter time one hour of driving on the salted roads could simulate 40 years of corrosion, but if you are in Texas you may have to leave your bass attached to the bottom of your car for 9-10 months to achieve the desired effect. Mojo-Mounts have a secure padlock locking mechanism to deter the thieves looking under your car for musical instruments to steal.
So that's the rundown for my Idea don't try to steal it because that would be wrong, and your products would create bad Mojo because of it.
Investors.... anyone....?
