New House or New Bass

[lfmn16]

My wife and I have two separate accounts for our personal stuff (For me, it's music and motorcycles) and what I do has no impact on our joint account. Although I tell her if I am buying something new, she knows that I will do what I want. I've worked all my life (I am 72) and I know my budget - the same goes for her, she has no need to rationalize anything she decides to buy - cars, trips with friends etc. we are lucky, not wealthy, but lucky. Something like a lake house would fall into our joint selection. A bass, not at all.

Obviously it all depends on your relationship. Fortunately for me, ours is well defined. Maybe that's the joy of getting married much later in life.

Yup. I married my current wife at 50. We have separate bank accounts and finances and theoretically split all the bills evenly, although I pay for a lot of the little small things like dinner out, if we go out for coffee, etc. I don't tell her how to spend her money and she doesn't tell me how to spend mine. That assumes of course that neither party is running up ruinous debt AND is saving for a secure retirement.

 

[GreyBeard]

I think the difference between this and the idea of spending $12k on a car or whatever is that the floor is a lot lower for basses vs. cars (or other toys). A $1k bass is a pretty decent instrument but a $1k car is a POS. And $13.2k gets you an okay car, but nothing fancy, whereas a $13.2k electric bass puts you in the absolute stratosphere. Bugati, Pagani, etc. level.

That said, OP has clearly identified this bass as his/her dream bass, so trying to convince him/her that this is not a reasonable desire is kind of silly. He/she almost certainly knows that $13.2k on a bass is extreme, but has still identified it as a dream bass. Not just that, but he/she has gotten to a point where it actually isn't just a dream. Trying to talk OP out of this dream is pretty silly.

Didn't he ask us?

 

[Michedelic]

 

[fishdude101101]

Well, sounds like you have no choice in the matter. If you don't go along with the house, the resentment will grow and blossom and bring forth fruit in the form of perpetual hostility.

Maybe she'll Feel guilty and find a way to get you that bass. Maybe she won't. Relationships are like that.

Don't ask me how I learned this.

I'll bet that 12k she won't feel guilty. As far as resentment goes, will he resent her though?

 

[fishdude101101]

Wipe a zero off that price tag and I'm still against paying that much. USA Fenders can fetch that much here, and better can be had for cheaper. This coming from a Fender die hard.

I'd never pay over 2500 for a bass.

 

[31HZ]

Do not, I repeat DO NOT assume that the lake house will appreciate in value in the next 10-15 years as part of your calculation of pros and cons.

 

[GreyBeard]

Spending 12K on a custom made bass is a lot like spending 12k on a Rolex but with one big difference. You can sell that Rolex and get a lot of your investment back.

 

[31HZ]

I must have missed the part of the poll where the OP solicited opinions on the maximum amount that each of us would find acceptable to spend on our dream bass.

 

[Wanker_Joe]

Sounds great. What do the cold beverages play?

Jug music.

 

[longfinger]

Depends.

Are you keeping the Lamborghini?

How about returning that for a Chrysler? The savings..

Or make more money.

 

[herrsmith]

Didn't he ask us?

OP did not ask us if $13.2k was reasonable for a bass purchase. OP asked $12k for the bass, on which $1.2k has already been spent vs. $12k on closing costs for a lake house. Those are two different questions, and the people saying that is way too much to spend on a bass aren't answering OPs question. They're answering a question that OP and his/her wife have already decided on.

 

[Hounddog409]

So, my wife green-lit my dream bass. Deposit paid, balanc>e is due... $12K

My wife found her dream lake house, deposit is paid, and now she wants to pivot and use the 12K for closing costs.

$1200 deposit will be lost...

We both agree that we don't want to touch savings because there are some minor upgrades that she wants to do to the house.

So... which stays... the lake house, or the bass?

Are you seriously asking this question? Lake house is an investment. One you both will enjoy. That bass is not either of those. Your wife wants the house, not the bass. I mean really....this is the definition of a no brainer.

Get the bass

 

[LanEvo]

I sold a bunch of basses and guitars to help come up with the down-payment on our house. The house has already gone up in value pretty dramatically.

Unless you do something dumb, a house is almost always going to be an appreciating asset. A boutique bass is like a sportscar: unless you get lucky (like buying a Porsche 964 RS when they were $35k about 15 years ago), you're going to lose much of the value.

 

[J_Bass]

House. $1200 is a small price to pay for marital harmony.

That said, in response to some commenters on how this should be a no brainer: a lake house is also a luxury. Just because it's a more conventional luxury than a dream bass doesn't make it the default choice.

choosing between your home and a bass. Easy. Choosing between a nice musical instrument and a potential money pit that happens to be next to a large puddle….. may not be the easy choice for some that it is to others.

the primary concern is the development of a big resentment sandwich - and those do come in both 'his' and 'hers' models. Discuss. Negotiate. Reach consensus. Commit. Don't look back.

Then it'll feel a lot better when you eat that deposit. Good luck. They keep churning out awesome basses. A good partner is hard to find.

So well put.

 

[fourstringdrums]

Do what I did. I bought the house and then snuck in the bass

 

[707GK]

Is the lake house a 2nd home?

 

[pbassnut]

So, my wife green-lit my dream bass. Deposit paid, balance is due... $12K

My wife found her dream lake house, deposit is paid, and now she wants to pivot and use the 12K for closing costs.

$1200 deposit will be lost...

We both agree that we don't want to touch savings because there are some minor upgrades that she wants to do to the house.

So... which stays... the lake house, or the bass?

Just remember this sage advice I heard somewhere ... "a happy wife is a happy life".

 

[chadds]

Whoa! So "tort" isn't the correct answer here?

 

[Refonbass]

This thread is making me feel somewhat guilty for purchasing 3 Ritters within the last six months…

 

[Manticore]

Not my place to give advice. I can, however, state that I went the seasonal home route.

As a side note, I've found each residence requires a bare minimum amount of music equipment to sustain our existence through extended stays. As such I was faced with the choice of either figuring out how to personally move equipment from one location to another or buy equipment for the alternate locations and have it shipped there. There are advantages to both "solutions."