Hi, I'm playing in big band for few months. I've noticed that sometimes I drag the drummer (when he loses focus and starts to slow down), sometimes he drags me (when I can'r read the hard parts fast enough) and the horns are often trying to change the tempo both ways. By dragging I mean 'I hear that my tones sound a little while before drums, not for a note, but for a feel'. I was trying to study this by listening to other bands, seems to me: 1. when a bigband plays according to metronome, it sounds terrible, so the varying tempo is probably right 2. in drums, the clear indicator of the tempo is hihat stomped on 2 a 4. The bass seems to me to play slightly in advance of the tempo given by drums. I was playing funky grooves, I know that the bass mostly work best when playing a bit laid back from the kick drum. I tried different approaches in the bigband, regarding 'tempo pushing'. When I play laid back, the band happily adapts it and the song slows down and loses the energy. When I play in advance, the song works great, but it exhausts me mentally. When I try to play exactly in the right time, the song sound a bit 'detached' (lacing better term). What it right?