Nightmare scenario

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by LBS-bass, Aug 15, 2022.

  1. LBS-bass

    LBS-bass Guest

    Nov 22, 2017
    Imagine if you will:

    I got hired to play in a very successful, big-ticket cover band. I drive several hours to get to our first show together; get there and it's this huge hotel with a big conference going on.

    There are several bands setting up for what seems like a big conference event. I start to bring my stuff in and realize that all I have are stands. No amp, no cabinet and no bass!

    As I begin to panic, someone points to a very busy area and tells me, "that's support staff over there. They have everything, just go over there and tell them what you need and they'll rent it to you."

    Really? Oh, wow, OK. So I go over there and wait in line. After what seems like forever it's my turn and I tell the guy I need a bass amp and cabinet. He says, "All I have is this old Acoustic 160. It's pretty awful." Well, I used to have one so at least I know what I'm getting and I tell him, "I'm desperate, I'll take anything." Then I say, "I also need to rent a bass for this show," and he tells me he doesn't have one.

    So I'm out of luck. I walk over the the keyboard player; she and I are in a different band together and we've been talking earlier about getting our passports renewed to travel with this bunch; we were so excited. I tell her what happened and say, "I guess I'm just going to drive home. I don't know what else to do, but I won't be able to play this show without any gear, and I know they won't keep me around after this mess."

    As the bandleader is walking toward us, I steel myself against the news I'm going to have to share with him. Then I wake up and realize the whole thing is, indeed, a nightmare!

    That's how my day started. How about yours?
  2. I'd think, after rubbing the sleep out of my eye's and realizing it was just a bad dream, I'd be pretty happy.
    Though I know it often doesn't work that way. Those dreams feel real and can set the tone for the rest of the day, no matter how much we try to rationalize it. Some people believe that our dreams are a way for our subconscious mind to work through real problems. I believe the psychologists refer to this as, waking up on the wrong side of the bed.
    Maybe the dreaming you is chewing on all that other band drama you've been going through?
    Hope your day gets better.
  3. LBS-bass

    LBS-bass Guest

    Nov 22, 2017
    You'd think I would have known I was in dream world as soon as the rental scenario came up. Where does that happen in real life? But yes, I was super happy the minute I realized I wasn't really in this predicament :)
  4. turf3


    Sep 26, 2011
    Mine is always that I'm late, late, late for the gig (I am never late for a gig) and I sit down and start to set up (I only dream about sax gigs) and all my reeds are these little useless nubbins (every sax case always has a minimum of four playable reeds), and the downbeat is approaching and I still haven't even pulled the charts.

    It's a variant of the famous "unprepared student" dream: I've just realized that somehow I've passed almost the whole semester and never attended that advanced math class; it's past the drop date; can I start now, cram like crazy and manage to pass? And either I can't even remember what room the class is in, or I get there and sit down and what the professor's writing on the board is just totally incomprehensible. Usually about then the rest of my mind starts talking into my other ear: "You already passed the course. You got the degree. You've been working as a professional in this field for 40 years. You're practically ready to retire, for crying out loud!" and I wake up, still in a lather about my impending failure. It's always a math class. Jeez, I'm almost 60, when does the dream stop?
  5. Tari


    Feb 2, 2016
    Hamburg, Germany
    And I just wanted to ask how it's possible to forget all gear when going to play a gig ;)
    crobasster, Remoman, SoCal80s and 4 others like this.
  6. LBS-bass

    LBS-bass Guest

    Nov 22, 2017
    That was the question I kept asking myself the whole time. How did I manage to not think to put my actual gear in my car? HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN??? Hilarious.

    @turf3 exactly. It's the same dream, just tailored for the music thing. I have that school dream sometimes, too, and it's almost always about not being able to find the right classroom, or I can't find the proper courses on the schedule.
  7. It's very possible... IN YOUR DREAMS! :D

    The metal termites ate the back, lift hatch off her Pinto station wagon, and all the gear fell out. :woot:
  8. SoonerBill

    SoonerBill Supporting Member

    Aug 27, 2017
    Ok! You had me hook line and sinker for a while. But I've read enough of your posts over the past few years that I kept thinking there was absolutely no way you would do that.
    timplog, And I, Dust2Dust and 3 others like this.
  9. LBS-bass

    LBS-bass Guest

    Nov 22, 2017
    What absolutely slays me in this dream is that the Acoustic 160 came back to haunt me after almost 40 years. That right there is the musical nightmare equivalent of the guy with the hatchet who chases you around.
    dwm74, timplog, Scott Bland and 14 others like this.
  10. Plucky The Bassist

    Plucky The Bassist Istanbul...not Constantinople Supporting Member

    Jul 30, 2010
    Dreamt like a true musician....a specific model AND you recollect your experience with it, even when asleep! :roflmao:
  11. QweziRider

    QweziRider Gold Supporting Member

    Sep 15, 2008
    Northern Nevada, U.S.
  12. Nashrakh


    Aug 16, 2008
    Hamburg, Germany
    I actually have a somewhat similar nightmare story to tell.

    So, as is not unusual, I was booked to play a realbook gig as a sideman. Cool.

    However, for some reason I do not turn up with my trusty bass and amp. I bring a tenor sax. Oh, and I forget my realbook at home. Which wouldn't be much of a problem if the BL could just stop calling standards I've never heard of for a minute.

    So I try to fake it. I blow by ear and it sounds pretty good to me. Suddenly, the pianist comes up to me and tells me to haul ass because I've been stinking up the joint all night -- it's the most embarrassed I've ever felt, a real pants-around-the-ankles moment.

    Then I wake up and I'm happy I always triple check my stuff before a gig, plus the obligatory idiot check.
    Bass Jones, Tari, covermego and 2 others like this.
  13. you had me hook, line and sinker! whew. Glad it was a dream. Usually my nightmares involve some sort of public lack of pants.
    timplog, cymbop, mexicanyella and 2 others like this.
  14. Killing Floor

    Killing Floor Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2020
    Austin, TX
    Glad it was a dream.
    RocknRay and LBS-bass like this.
  15. WRM

    WRM Supporting Member

    Aug 2, 2015
    Going on a Ski trip on a chartered bus, I had a dream that the cargo doors opened and let our Skis out all over the highway. It was so real that I made them stop the bus to check (what a maroon!)...
  16. I forgot my bass twice this year ! fortunately I live close to the venue normally , one time Is was NOT close but I have freinds all over and borrowed a bass ( had an extra gtr I could have used and faked it playing finger style) freakin Dumb azz :)
    Dust2Dust likes this.
  17. 2saddleslab

    2saddleslab Supporting Member

    May 30, 2003
    Had the exact same dream. Except mine involved pants [or the lack thereof], not a bass.:D
    RocknRay likes this.
  18. LBS-bass

    LBS-bass Guest

    Nov 22, 2017
    I think I have the model number wrong; been a few decades. It was a horrible Acoustic combo, in any case :)
  19. bigjames

    bigjames Player of Smooth Lines

    If Flea can do it, you can do it.
  20. SoonerBill

    SoonerBill Supporting Member

    Aug 27, 2017
    I often have something similar to the unprepared student dream. I dream that at present age (63) either my high school or OU send me a certified letter that I have to go back and finish one class that got overlooked or horrible things are going to happen.
    cymbop, Admiral Akbar and Dust2Dust like this.