No Weeknight Gigs Common?

[lfmn16]

Either I'm over-thinking this stuff, I'm with the wrong group, or this band stuff is a lot more difficult than I imagined.

The latter two.

 

[EastCoastThump]

...And the drummer is becoming a person that is quick to miss practice.

You and the drummer are eager to play. Stick with the drummer. Talk with the drummer. Do what needs to be done to build a workable band.

 

[INTP]

Either I'm over-thinking this stuff, I'm with the wrong group, or this band stuff is a lot more difficult than I imagined.

I keep finding that it's a lot more difficult than I imagined.

I'm not yet giving up, but I'm starting to wonder if finding a group of players that want to play occasionally while still maintaining family/job/hobbies might be too much. On the face of it, there are a bunch of players that seem to fit this criteria, but in practice, there seem to be a lot of divergence of goals, ability, effort, ability to get along, etc.

 

[abbub]

She just goes crazy when he's not there helping her. She texts him the whole time we're practicing wondering when he'll be home.

That statement alone tells me it's time to find a new guitarist if you want this project to be anything beyond a part-time basement band. I'm so glad my wife understands that music is a great deal of what keeps me (mostly) sane.

 

[Joebone]

A problem for him rather than you; getting involved in that mess ranks amongst the worst ideas you could have.

You should talk with him about it frankly, leaving out all the "afraid of success" and "holding us back" stuff (it's critical and won't help), and be as positive as you can be. Try to get some hard time commitments or at least the reasoning behind why not. Maybe he can make a schedule or a deal with his wife or something (has worked for me before).

I don't think this will work out. It seems apparent that the problem here is his spousal relationship. No weeknights? Not good, but not a killer. No exceptions? Bad. Probably no Fridays? Really bad. Wife constantly texting? Rilly rilly baaaad. He's not willing to compromise? I'd be looking for a replacement. I know he's a friend, but...

I work 45+ hours a week, commute 45+ minutes each way, and am married with two kids. There are times I can't make rehearsals or gigs. But it's on a case-by-case basis, and my wife cooperates with me so I can make as many dates as possible. We sometimes do evening gigs during the week. It sounds to me like your guitarist wants to be in a band (kinda?), but his wife isn't happy about it. That's not a good sign for the future.

If you are OK gigging the occasional Saturday and nothing else, that might work. But it might be hard to get Saturday nights if you're not willing to do any other night first.

These folks have it right. If you and your other bandmates are committed to moving forward in a way that this fellow is not, then best to deal with it now. It sounds that he is torn by external factors and ambivalence, and that's not going to get sorted out quickly. It sucks, but ask yourselves how deeply you want to get involved in helping him get sorted out, and do you have the time for that exercise. Maybe y'all can work with him, but it sounds like it will be a project, and you don't have his wife at the table.

 

[BigMarc]

If you want it bad enough, you'll play any time and anywhere, because, believe me there are plenty of dedicated musicians out there who are motivated and ready to play...

 

[invader3k]

Maybe it's because I'm in a small town area, but I'm surprised a band is getting many offers to play on weeknights. Literally nowhere around here has live music on weeknights. It's strictly Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. That said, the person the OP is talking about has "family drama" written all over them.

 

[kikstand454]

Idk.

Maybe guitarist is the one with the real sense here. OP it seems as though this is you guys' first band and you're just starting to get where you can do some shows. You're having to (possibly, you think, you haven't played any yet...) book some weeknight gigs - that will have little to no redeeming qualities- in order just to play and have a chance at a real gig. ( paying). You said yourself that you don't care about the gigs financially and you are the most "well off" member of the group. You also said that the other two guys are Craigslist dudes and the drummer is enthusiastic in mentality....but is starting to shrug responsibilities. By your own admission you- as his only real connection in the band- have no experience in band dynamics and are coming to realize that its not all a band of brothers laying waste to your local scene.

Seems to me like this guy has a real life with real issues ( money, work, kids, unsupportive wife...) and when weighed against the factors he's looking at in your current band situation- is correctly not willing to commit the time and effort you're asking. His nervousness to play out may actually be a sign that he feels the BAND is not ready- not just stage fright- and he's scared to embarrass himself?

I'm not sure about your respective ages, but if you're all over thirty- then I don't blame this guy at all. Stressing your finances and homelife for some non paying gigs during the week with a newbie band that has no no real clue whats going on is asking ALOT. If you're younger and trying to " make it" then this is not the guy for you.

Sounds like you guys need to have the proverbial band meeting and draw out some serious goals and directions and see what page you're all actually on.


StuartV - I know exactly the place you're talking about on the coast. Our scene here in Tallahassee is very different than many I see on here. Take for instance the fact that if you want to play on the strip- you have to play a Friday or wed night in order to be booked on a Thursday or Saturday night when its big time. Lol.

 

[lilcrate]

Idk.

Maybe guitarist is the one with the real sense here. OP it seems as though this is you guys' first band and you're just starting to get where you can do some shows. You're having to (possibly, you think, you haven't played any yet...) book some weeknight gigs - that will have little to no redeeming qualities- in order just to play and have a chance at a real gig. ( paying). You said yourself that you don't care about the gigs financially and you are the most "well off" member of the group. You also said that the other two guys are Craigslist dudes and the drummer is enthusiastic in mentality....but is starting to shrug responsibilities. By your own admission you- as his only real connection in the band- have no experience in band dynamics and are coming to realize that its not all a band of brothers laying waste to your local scene.

Seems to me like this guy has a real life with real issues ( money, work, kids, unsupportive wife...) and when weighed against the factors he's looking at in your current band situation- is correctly not willing to commit the time and effort you're asking. His nervousness to play out may actually be a sign that he feels the BAND is not ready- not just stage fright- and he's scared to embarrass himself?

I'm not sure about your respective ages, but if you're all over thirty- then I don't blame this guy at all. Stressing your finances and homelife for some non paying gigs during the week with a newbie band that has no no real clue whats going on is asking ALOT. If you're younger and trying to " make it" then this is not the guy for you.

Sounds like you guys need to have the proverbial band meeting and draw out some serious goals and directions and see what page you're all actually on.


StuartV - I know exactly the place you're talking about on the coast. Our scene here in Tallahassee is very different than many I see on here. Take for instance the fact that if you want to play on the strip- you have to play a Friday or wed night in order to be booked on a Thursday or Saturday night when its big time. Lol.

Totally get your point, and that's great if that's the case, but that would also mean this project isn't for him. From what he says and acts like, the issue is much more related to what others are saying. He says it's something he wants more than anything.

I have already defined the model to the band members before joining. I have a goal and a target market area. "Making it" is absolutely the goal and every band member should want to make it happen. And "making it" in this model is not anything extraordinary, but it will take drive to get us there and it isn't something everyone is capable of.

 

[Biggbass]

He said it's something he is not willing to compromise on and if we'd like to find another guitarist he'd understand.


there you have it.

 

[StuartV]

StuartV - I know exactly the place you're talking about on the coast. Our scene here in Tallahassee is very different than many I see on here. Take for instance the fact that if you want to play on the strip- you have to play a Friday or wed night in order to be booked on a Thursday or Saturday night when its big time. Lol.

I don't know if that's 100% true. If you play other places (on Fri and/or Sat nights) enough to get known, you can play on the good nights on the Strip. We played at Red Rocks, just down from Bullwinkle's on a Fri or Sat (I can't remember which) for our first gig every on the Strip. But, we had been playing around other places enough that I guess whoever did the booking there knew of us enough to be willing to book us. Of course, that was 4 years or so ago and things could definitely have changed.

Anyway, as far as the OP goes, I definitely think a new band has to be willing to take whatever gigs they can get, to get themselves some credibility and a little reputation going. Being able to start out with ANY kind of pay - even if it's for a Wednesday night - is good!

 

[kikstand454]

I don't know if that's 100% true. If you play other places (on Fri and/or Sat nights) enough to get known, you can play on the good nights on the Strip. We played at Red Rocks, just down from Bullwinkle's on a Fri or Sat (I can't remember which) for our first gig every on the Strip. But, we had been playing around other places enough that I guess whoever did the booking there knew of us enough to be willing to book us. Of course, that was 4 years or so ago and things could definitely have changed!

Oh....I was specifically referring to Bullwinkle policy, and the fact the big night on the strip is thursday night- which is strage probably compared to other places... but like you I havent played on the strip in years and have little to no desire to now. I know that's how they used to audition bands....even up to semi recently. But that may have changed. Hell last time I played at Bullwinkles was '99 and red rocks was big daddy's and we would do shows between those two and Floyd's music store. Lol.
Long time ago.



OP- I misconstrued your postings I guess. If you are focused and ready.....let nothing stand in your way.

 

[skychief]

The guitar player mentioned he can't do weeknights due to wife/kids and possibly having to get up early for work. He said it's something he is not willing to compromise on and if we'd like to find another guitarist he'd understand.

hes a stand up guy.

No BS,, no drama,, just the facts.

If this conflicts with your band objective(s), then you must let him go.

But do so in a positive manner. Never burn your bridges,,, etc.

 

[DwaynieAD]

no weeknights is fine. I think Meet At Sundown only played one weeknight in our 3 year run. No Fridays? that's just crazy.. Saturdays are more desirable but Friday is the weekend.