Non-bassists say the darnedest things

[BAG]

That kid will never make it until he’s able to replace the look of child-like wonder with the blank expression that could be interpreted as “I’m really thinking about the music”, “I wonder if I remembered to turn the stove off”, or “I would like some soup”.

Or.... "the bridge is coming up..... crap, what are the bridge chords again"

 

[Nashrakh]

I mean... I've got a lot of opinions about instruments I don't play.

This why I always keep a viola player in my pocket for cases of emergency. The make an excellent deflector shield.

 

[brianrost]

- “I can play bass” *proceeds to play only roots in, gripping the neck like a baseball bat or only fretting using index finger.*

I know a guy who's not far removed from that (he does play more than just roots but his fingering is primitive). On fretless. He totally blows me off the stage.

I've had people see me play my DB and ask what instrument it is.

 

[Pings Bass]

[DEEP THOUGHTS]
If everyone is part of the drum section, then is really anyone part of the drum section?
[/DEEP THOUGHTS]

Heh, welp. Any way you look at it, everybody's gotta contribute to the groove. I'm done playing any kind of music with people who can't groove.

 

[kesslari]

Not quite a stupid question, more a snarky musician reply (I'm not proud of my snark, but there it is)
Person: "Wow, man, your bass sounds great!"
Me (stepping away from the bass and appearing to listen intently): "Hmm, doesn't seem to make any sound at all by itself..."

 

[Logic_11]

- “A bass is really just a pitched drum” or “A bass is really just tunable percussion”

Well, now I just realized why I like percussion so much

 

[Flatwound]

“You should only hear the bass when the bass player makes a mistake.”

And yes, I’ve heard this one.

 

[MVE]

This whole thread reeks of insecurity and self-doubt and further advances the marginalization of the artistry of bass playing.

And for the record,

Bass IS the easiest instrument in the world to play!!!
--- for me.

 

[micguy]

“Why is yours so much bigger than the other’s?”

I'm OK with that comment, assuming it comes from the right kind of person.

 

[micguy]

Non bassists think there are more than 12 frets!

The last few do have a purpose - they need to be there so you have something to bounce the strings off of when you want to make a good clank.

 

[gln1955]

"You should only feel the bass, not hear it"

 

[RyanSaranich]

Somewhat related, but I was doing a session last week as a drummer and was having a discussion with the producer about something and he said, "....yeah, but you're not a typical drummer. Most of them only know how to brush their teeth.....barely, and can only count to four." I was taken back and then laughed about it all afternoon!

 

[MichelD]

Playing jazz standard charts with a good friend who plays mandolin, I said something like "so what is the colour note, 6th in that chord?" It's not hard, I should know that anyway.

But you know what he said?

"I didn't think bass players cared about those."

 

[bobalu]

Not quite a stupid question, more a snarky musician reply (I'm not proud of my snark, but there it is)
Person: "Wow, man, your bass sounds great!"
Me (stepping away from the bass and appearing to listen intently): "Hmm, doesn't seem to make any sound at all by itself..."

^^^ A famous/true Chet Atkins story. (well documented). Guy: "your guitar sounds great!". Chet: puts the guitar down in its stand and say's "how does it sound now?"

 

[zoonose]

"You really want the sound of the bass and the kick drum to blend together so that it sounds like the same thing”

Pretty sure I've heard that one on Talkbass.

 

[Slevage]

Its only four stings, how hard could it be?

My reply:
“Yah, less strings makes it easier. Trumpet is super easy.”

 

[zoonose]

My reply:
“Yah, less strings makes it easier. Trumpet is super easy.”

Trombone is easiest... just like fretless!

 

[Slevage]

Trombone is easiest... just like fretless!

Trombone = pitch approximator

 

[kesslari]

^^^ A famous/true Chet Atkins story. (well documented). Guy: "your guitar sounds great!". Chet: puts the guitar down in its stand and say's "how does it sound now?"

I didn't think it could be original to me.

 

[Holdsg]

we've all had to respond to this one, haven't we?

why do you need more than one? Don't you play just one at a time?