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Oy. People are weird.

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by two fingers, Jun 11, 2018.

  1. -Asdfgh-


    Apr 13, 2010
    Toontracks Superior Drummer. Bound to be better.
    rufus.K likes this.
  2. Keyser Soze

    Keyser Soze Supporting Member

    If it seems to good to be true, it prolly is NOT true.
    Wisebass and two fingers like this.
  3. armyadarkness

    armyadarkness Supporting Member

    Nov 3, 2012
    NJ Bayou Country
    You see what happens when new Jersey musicians move to the Carolinas! I warned you that Jersey musicians are crap! lol
    Wisebass and two fingers like this.
  4. armyadarkness

    armyadarkness Supporting Member

    Nov 3, 2012
    NJ Bayou Country
    I'm not able to find anyone reliable at all in Jersey. 10 years of wasted time, gear, and connections. TV has warped their minds about reality... These idiots still think they're going to be like Motley Crue
  5. alaskaleftybass

    alaskaleftybass Will Hanbury, Jr. Supporting Member

    Mar 21, 2012
    Sitka, Alaska
    To play devil's advocate, maybe he felt like the band wasn't making enough headway and some of the members had other commitments. I think maybe he wanted to get going pretty quickly and the band wasn't offering that opportunity soon enough. I understand that. I have a hard time committing to a band where members are busy with other projects and the times between rehearsals are too long. I'd rather do a bunch of rehearsals and be tight sounding than go out and wing it. Just my 2c.
    oldrocker likes this.
  6. armyadarkness

    armyadarkness Supporting Member

    Nov 3, 2012
    NJ Bayou Country
    Yes I joke, but in reality, it's sad and painful. I have professional connections, free marketing and merchandising, two full blown pro equipped studios, two venues... things that most musicians will never get to experience... but no band.

    I even bought all of the gear so that band members would merely need to show up... a Mesa and Marshall stack for the guitarists, a full Mapex drum kit, all new, all high end 14,000 watt all digital PA, monster cables, $200 mics... endorsements...

    No musicians. So everyday I contemplate just selling it all. Why bother. So long as it all hinges on the good of others, I'm screwed. All of my killer basses and gear sit waiting.
    Jimmy4string likes this.
  7. tb4sbp


    May 9, 2017
    North East
    Some people need practice with a band and some can play and learn on the fly.

    Looks like your ex-drummer was either jones-ing for the stage or was worried he would mess it all up.

    The sad part is the way he ended it.

    Best of luck in future endeavors
  8. slobake

    slobake resident ... something Supporting Member

    Nothing worse than a squirrelly musician. Sic your cat on him, a headless drummer would be cool.
    Jimmy4string and Gaolee like this.
  9. swarfrat


    Sep 23, 2014
    A self firing drummer?
    Jimmy4string and funkinbottom like this.
  10. AdamR

    AdamR Supporting Member

    Sep 24, 2007
    Bethel CT
    This. When I'm in a band, it's weekly rehearsals unless there is a show on rehearsal night. I play in a band to have a night out enjoying music with friends and letting go of some of life's stress.
    SpyderX and alaskaleftybass like this.
  11. alaskaleftybass

    alaskaleftybass Will Hanbury, Jr. Supporting Member

    Mar 21, 2012
    Sitka, Alaska
    Agreed. I am one of those who was always able to "play on the fly." But there is no substitute for a band that is REALLY TIGHT and well rehearsed. It's obvious to me as a musician when I go in and hear a band and they're making obvious mistakes. Plenty of rehearsals WITH live gigs makes for a healthy band.
    oldrocker likes this.
  12. nbsipics

    nbsipics Bass Plasma Gold Supporting Member

    Apr 8, 2016
    I can see it now: "mHarmony". A TB sister website for all musicians so that they can learn Harmony - in both vocals and life! :)
  13. SactoBass

    SactoBass I like all-tube amps! Supporting Member

    Jul 8, 2009
    Sacramento CA
    Sorry that happened to you TF. Regarding how to reply to that guy, I recommend always taking the high road, so I would say something like "no worries man, I'm sorry it didn't work out, and I wish you the best of luck as you are an excellent musician!" He may (at his discretion) then choose to open up a bit and share info as to why he is bailing. If not, let it ride.

    Positive vibes are always better than negative vibes. He will feel better, and so will you, especially in the long run! :thumbsup:
    redwingxix, mikew31 and +6dB Dan like this.
  14. Gaolee

    Gaolee Official leathers tester and crash dummy Supporting Member

    I'm in the process of running out the string with a guitarist who announced that he was done at the end of July. It's the second time he's done this in a band I was playing with him in. Shame on me this time. The good thing is that the singer and drummer seem interested in finding a replacement and continuing on. With him gone, we could wander into a more jazz side of things, a place the guitarist freaks out about going.
  15. Wfrance3

    Wfrance3 Supporting Member

    May 29, 2014
    Tulsa, OK
    This is basic. I've been reading and responding to posts in TB for a while now. The consensus is always:

    2. TORT
    3. CARROTS
    4. You guys can take it from here....

    Sorry to head about the personnel trouble. It's sad that band #1 sounded like it was really gelling... I've been in bands that worked, but didn't feel comfortable and together from that point of view. When it happens, and it gets taken for granted, like it seems to in this case, well, that's just a shame and was completely avoidable. Maybe your new drummer will be less of a cat with an attitude. (notice how I made suggestion #1 and then just went forward like that was the plan...)
  16. funkinbottom

    funkinbottom Supporting Member

    Apr 23, 2006
    Northern CA.
    Sorry to hear. I've found, many times people will take the path of least resistance, and just blame the band/situation, as opposed to giving the real reason. Maybe the too much distance, ill prepared for a gig in a month is his real reason. If so, his bad for agreeing with the original plan in the first place and should have been more up front. If a different reason, or he just changed his mind, Oh well, move on.

    To me, if this guy is good a drummer, and more importantly, a good human being, it would be worth at least a call to see what's going on. I would tell him, without kissing ass or being harsh, that

    A: You would have appreciated him being more up front in the beginning. You were. He knew going in you needed some time.
    B: Thank him for his time and effort thus far. He did offer a place to rehears and leaned some of the material.
    C: Remind him there is still over a month before the gig. Plenty of time to be well prepared.
    D: Tell him something to the effect of "too bad it didn't work out, maybe next time". I try not to burn any bridge, as your musical paths may cross again.

    If he doesn't change his mind, again,move on.

    All and all, positive things have been accomplished here. You've established the core of a good band (I know minus drums), and you still have over a month to handle the situation. It sounds like there are plenty of musicians in your area, so worst case scenario you find a sub. Perhaps the keyboardist know good drummer. I hope all works out well for you.

    All that said, I will close in saying........... Dummers:rollno:
  17. Rickter

    Rickter Bassist for EverCross, Precision Bass Geek Supporting Member

    Nov 30, 2006
    Nashville, TN
    I agree with those of the mind that the drummer had something else going on. That's too abrupt of a change of heart to happen so quickly for seemingly questionable reasons.
  18. alaskaleftybass

    alaskaleftybass Will Hanbury, Jr. Supporting Member

    Mar 21, 2012
    Sitka, Alaska
    There are always two sides to a story. Although often said in jest, "fire the drummer" isn't a solution. Good drummers are hard to find. Especially if they don't drink or drug and take their music seriously. And they ARE out there.
    +6dB Dan likes this.
  19. MarkA

    MarkA I believe in countermelody. Supporting Member

    Sep 26, 2008
    I read the whole thread and think I follow but, just to be clear, the band in question (from which the drummer bailed) has/had a gig on the books in about a month, correct? You'd practiced together twice, then took two weeks off for reasons already explained, right?

    Did the other members continue to practice without you? How did those practices go? How often were you practicing -- how many more practices would you have had together before the gig?

    I'm just trying to get a more complete picture of the situation. The sudden mass-text and refusal to communicate afterward are disappointing, for sure, but I can see some scenarios where the drummer might have felt legit frustration, even as I acknowledge that more straightforward communication would likely have addressed that more effectively.

    That's guesswork, though. Personally, I'd want to talk to the guy -- face-to-face, ideally -- whether you get (or want to get) him back or not. If something doesn't work out, I want to know why and if there's some positive human element or modicum of good feeling to salvage, I want to do that. I'd make a good faith effort to make that happen, but wouldn't beat myself up if it doesn't.

    Good luck either way.
  20. esoxhntr

    esoxhntr Supporting Member

    Jun 21, 2007
    Markham, Ontario
    Someone may already have said this - I get the feeling he may have had another offer.
    ezra1 likes this.

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