Oy. People are weird.

[-Asdfgh-]

use a drum machine/loops.
or add a DJ instead of a drunmer.

Toontracks Superior Drummer. Bound to be better.

 

[Keyser Soze]

I didn't take it personally. It's just frustrating because the chemistry up until now has been great.

If it seems to good to be true, it prolly is NOT true.

 

[armyadarkness]

So, my second band has been coming together nicely.

Good female lead singer. Toral pro. She not only sings lead well, but can harmonize with a fence post.

Good guitar playet. Super versatile. Great gear. Fantastic chops. No ego. Not too loud.

Me on bass, backups and some lead vocals.

Drummer. Super cool redneck. Practice spot at his house. Good timing. Good gear. Good harmonies and low lead vocals.

We had done two rehearsals. Everything great. We really clicked. We all liked the music. We all liked the three part harmonies. We were even talking about bringing on a keys player who can sing his butt off too. Now we're talking FOUR part harmonies and all good players.

I had agreed to join another band at about the same time. I was totally up front with everyone in both. All parties were fine. Neither band would play more than a show or two a month so conflicts would be minimal anyway.

First band got a show before the second band. It came up kind of quickly. I asked the second band (the one described above) if it would be OK if I took a couple of weeks to finish out my kids' school year, attend rehearsals and performances of their dance recitals, and finish off the first band's setlist for that show. Every one of the second band said "Sure man. No problem."

That show was this past Saturday with the first band. All went well.

Second band had set up rehearsal for this coming Wednesday. We had been texting back and forth for days to make sure we all knew the set for rehearsal with keys and vocal assignments. All texts were cheerful. All members had participated in the aforementioned texts.


Then today....

The rest of us get a text from (of course) the drummer. *sigh*

Paraphrasing....

"Guys, I'm done with this project. There's just too much distance in this band. I have lost interest. Never mind that I'm not playing a show in just over a month with a band that can't get it together amd is ill prepared."

*sigh*

I have done dozens of gigs where I got the set on Tuesday. I learned the songs that week. I met the band for the first time in the parking lot of the venue where we were playing. We went inside and did the dang thing.

Never mind that this guy had been all about this project up until this morning.

Of course, he won't return any of our phone calls or texts. (I never bothered. Screw him.)

People are dumb.

You see what happens when new Jersey musicians move to the Carolinas! I warned you that Jersey musicians are crap! lol

 

[armyadarkness]

I'm not able to find anyone reliable at all in Jersey. 10 years of wasted time, gear, and connections. TV has warped their minds about reality... These idiots still think they're going to be like Motley Crue

 

[alaskaleftybass]

To play devil's advocate, maybe he felt like the band wasn't making enough headway and some of the members had other commitments. I think maybe he wanted to get going pretty quickly and the band wasn't offering that opportunity soon enough. I understand that. I have a hard time committing to a band where members are busy with other projects and the times between rehearsals are too long. I'd rather do a bunch of rehearsals and be tight sounding than go out and wing it. Just my 2c.

 

[armyadarkness]

Yes I joke, but in reality, it's sad and painful. I have professional connections, free marketing and merchandising, two full blown pro equipped studios, two venues... things that most musicians will never get to experience... but no band.

I even bought all of the gear so that band members would merely need to show up... a Mesa and Marshall stack for the guitarists, a full Mapex drum kit, all new, all high end 14,000 watt all digital PA, monster cables, $200 mics... endorsements...

No musicians. So everyday I contemplate just selling it all. Why bother. So long as it all hinges on the good of others, I'm screwed. All of my killer basses and gear sit waiting.

 

[tb4sbp]

Some people need practice with a band and some can play and learn on the fly.

Looks like your ex-drummer was either jones-ing for the stage or was worried he would mess it all up.

The sad part is the way he ended it.

Best of luck in future endeavors

 

[slobake]

Then today....

The rest of us get a text from (of course) the drummer. *sigh*

Paraphrasing....

"Guys, I'm done with this project. There's just too much distance in this band. I have lost interest. Never mind that I'm not playing a show in just over a month with a band that can't get it together amd is ill prepared."

*sigh*

I have done dozens of gigs where I got the set on Tuesday. I learned the songs that week. I met the band for the first time in the parking lot of the venue where we were playing. We went inside and did the dang thing.

Never mind that this guy had been all about this project up until this morning.

Of course, he won't return any of our phone calls or texts. (I never bothered. Screw him.)

People are dumb.

Nothing worse than a squirrelly musician. Sic your cat on him, a headless drummer would be cool.

 

[swarfrat]

A self firing drummer?

 

[AdamR]

To play devil's advocate, maybe he felt like the band wasn't making enough headway and some of the members had other commitments. I think maybe he wanted to get going pretty quickly and the band wasn't offering that opportunity soon enough. I understand that. I have a hard time committing to a band where members are busy with other projects and the times between rehearsals are too long. I'd rather do a bunch of rehearsals and be tight sounding than go out and wing it. Just my 2c.

This. When I'm in a band, it's weekly rehearsals unless there is a show on rehearsal night. I play in a band to have a night out enjoying music with friends and letting go of some of life's stress.

 

[alaskaleftybass]

Some people need practice with a band and some can play and learn on the fly.

Agreed. I am one of those who was always able to "play on the fly." But there is no substitute for a band that is REALLY TIGHT and well rehearsed. It's obvious to me as a musician when I go in and hear a band and they're making obvious mistakes. Plenty of rehearsals WITH live gigs makes for a healthy band.

 

[CryingBass]

I can see it now: "mHarmony". A TB sister website for all musicians so that they can learn Harmony - in both vocals and life!

 

[SactoBass]

Yeah I wish I could talk to the guy in person. Not to argue with him or anything. Jist to get to what's really bugging him... even if he still doesn't stay with the band.

I'll probably shoot him a text in the morning.

Thanks

Sorry that happened to you TF. Regarding how to reply to that guy, I recommend always taking the high road, so I would say something like "no worries man, I'm sorry it didn't work out, and I wish you the best of luck as you are an excellent musician!" He may (at his discretion) then choose to open up a bit and share info as to why he is bailing. If not, let it ride.

Positive vibes are always better than negative vibes. He will feel better, and so will you, especially in the long run!

 

[Gaolee]

I'm in the process of running out the string with a guitarist who announced that he was done at the end of July. It's the second time he's done this in a band I was playing with him in. Shame on me this time. The good thing is that the singer and drummer seem interested in finding a replacement and continuing on. With him gone, we could wander into a more jazz side of things, a place the guitarist freaks out about going.

 

[Wfrance3]

This is basic. I've been reading and responding to posts in TB for a while now. The consensus is always:

1. FIRE THE DRUMMER
2. TORT
3. CARROTS
4. You guys can take it from here....

Sorry to head about the personnel trouble. It's sad that band #1 sounded like it was really gelling... I've been in bands that worked, but didn't feel comfortable and together from that point of view. When it happens, and it gets taken for granted, like it seems to in this case, well, that's just a shame and was completely avoidable. Maybe your new drummer will be less of a cat with an attitude. (notice how I made suggestion #1 and then just went forward like that was the plan...)

 

[funkinbottom]

"Guys, I'm done with this project. There's just too much distance in this band. I have lost interest. Never mind that I'm not playing a show in just over a month with a band that can't get it together and is ill prepared."

Never mind that this guy had been all about this project up until this morning.

Sorry to hear. I've found, many times people will take the path of least resistance, and just blame the band/situation, as opposed to giving the real reason. Maybe the too much distance, ill prepared for a gig in a month is his real reason. If so, his bad for agreeing with the original plan in the first place and should have been more up front. If a different reason, or he just changed his mind, Oh well, move on.

To me, if this guy is good a drummer, and more importantly, a good human being, it would be worth at least a call to see what's going on. I would tell him, without kissing ass or being harsh, that

A: You would have appreciated him being more up front in the beginning. You were. He knew going in you needed some time.
B: Thank him for his time and effort thus far. He did offer a place to rehears and leaned some of the material.
C: Remind him there is still over a month before the gig. Plenty of time to be well prepared.
D: Tell him something to the effect of "too bad it didn't work out, maybe next time". I try not to burn any bridge, as your musical paths may cross again.

If he doesn't change his mind, again,move on.

All and all, positive things have been accomplished here. You've established the core of a good band (I know minus drums), and you still have over a month to handle the situation. It sounds like there are plenty of musicians in your area, so worst case scenario you find a sub. Perhaps the keyboardist know good drummer. I hope all works out well for you.

All that said, I will close in saying........... Dummers

 

[Rickter]

I agree with those of the mind that the drummer had something else going on. That's too abrupt of a change of heart to happen so quickly for seemingly questionable reasons.

 

[alaskaleftybass]

There are always two sides to a story. Although often said in jest, "fire the drummer" isn't a solution. Good drummers are hard to find. Especially if they don't drink or drug and take their music seriously. And they ARE out there.

 

[MarkA]

So, my second band has been coming together nicely.

Good female lead singer. Total pro. She not only sings lead well, but can harmonize with a fence post.

Good guitar playet. Super versatile. Great gear. Fantastic chops. No ego. Not too loud.

Me on bass, backups and some lead vocals.

Drummer. Super cool redneck. Practice spot at his house. Good timing. Good gear. Good harmonies and low lead vocals.

We had done two rehearsals. Everything great. We really clicked. We all liked the music. We all liked the three part harmonies. We were even talking about bringing on a keys player who can sing his butt off too. Now we're talking FOUR part harmonies and all good players.

I had agreed to join another band at about the same time. I was totally up front with everyone in both. All parties were fine. Neither band would play more than a show or two a month so conflicts would be minimal anyway.

First band got a show before the second band. It came up kind of quickly. I asked the second band (the one described above) if it would be OK if I took a couple of weeks to finish out my kids' school year, attend rehearsals and performances of their dance recitals, and finish off the first band's setlist for that show. Every one of the second band said "Sure man. No problem."

That show was this past Saturday with the first band. All went well.

Second band had set up rehearsal for this coming Wednesday. We had been texting back and forth for days to make sure we all knew the set for rehearsal with keys and vocal assignments. All texts were cheerful. All members had participated in the aforementioned texts.


Then today....

The rest of us get a text from (of course) the drummer. *sigh*

Paraphrasing....

"Guys, I'm done with this project. There's just too much distance in this band. I have lost interest. Never mind that I'm not playing a show in just over a month with a band that can't get it together amd is ill prepared."

*sigh*

I have done dozens of gigs where I got the set on Tuesday. I learned the songs that week. I met the band for the first time in the parking lot of the venue where we were playing. We went inside and did the dang thing.

Never mind that this guy had been all about this project up until this morning.

Of course, he won't return any of our phone calls or texts. (I never bothered. Screw him.)

People are dumb.

I read the whole thread and think I follow but, just to be clear, the band in question (from which the drummer bailed) has/had a gig on the books in about a month, correct? You'd practiced together twice, then took two weeks off for reasons already explained, right?

Did the other members continue to practice without you? How did those practices go? How often were you practicing -- how many more practices would you have had together before the gig?

I'm just trying to get a more complete picture of the situation. The sudden mass-text and refusal to communicate afterward are disappointing, for sure, but I can see some scenarios where the drummer might have felt legit frustration, even as I acknowledge that more straightforward communication would likely have addressed that more effectively.

That's guesswork, though. Personally, I'd want to talk to the guy -- face-to-face, ideally -- whether you get (or want to get) him back or not. If something doesn't work out, I want to know why and if there's some positive human element or modicum of good feeling to salvage, I want to do that. I'd make a good faith effort to make that happen, but wouldn't beat myself up if it doesn't.

Good luck either way.

 

[esoxhntr]

Then today....

The rest of us get a text from (of course) the drummer. *sigh*

Paraphrasing....

"Guys, I'm done with this project. There's just too much distance in this band. I have lost interest. Never mind that I'm not playing a show in just over a month with a band that can't get it together amd is ill prepared."

Someone may already have said this - I get the feeling he may have had another offer.