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Palmface moments.

FreaqyFrequency

FreaqyFrequency

Jan 29, 2008
2,725
17
Virginia Beach, VA
#1
They don't have to be yours.

My mother's best friend got a new car. But she was having a problem with it; the engine was surging with a huge "ka-chunk ka-chunk" motion. She spilled her coffee on herself three days in a row on her way to work.

So, she takes it into the shop. Mechanic checks under the hood, reports all systems go. Takes it for a spin with her in the passenger seat, everything's fine. Now she takes it for a spin with him. Immediately, the mechanic says:

"Ma'am, please remove your left foot from the brake." :eek:

:D
 
#2
i went to the sprint wireless store and they had a little computer. you type in your zip code and it gives you a list of all the phones available to you and such. I enter it, and it says not recognized. I try again, same thing. I call over my friend and tell her "this is crazy, its like we dont exist!" She watches me type in the zip code. 4-1-2...Not Recognized. "Paul, thats your area code..."
 
#4
One of my personal favs was when I (totally inadvertently) signed an official work-related outbound email to a client with "Retards" then my name instead of "Regards" causing a somewhat tense situation between my boss and a client's supervisor. It looked for all the world like I just called his guys "Retards". I had posted a thread about this a while back, but so you can laugh at me as opposed to with here, here's last part of that email again:

"In the end, your technical team had followed an earlier suggestion from us which resolved the issue. Had they attempted the suggested fix earlier within the time frame of our troubleshooting, the content would not have been lost.

Retards,"
 
#6
me too, far too well! It's the reason I've removed "retards" from my spell checker. Now whenever it pops up, it's highlighted as though it's a misspelled word. If it wasn't for that, I swear that I would have done it a few more times since then.
 
#7
Relic said:
One of my personal favs was when I (totally inadvertently) signed an official work-related outbound email to a client with "Retards" then my name instead of "Regards" causing a somewhat tense situation between my boss and a client's supervisor. It looked for all the world like I just called his guys "Retards". I had posted a thread about this a while back, but so you can laugh at me as opposed to with here, here's last part of that email again:

"In the end, your technical team had followed an earlier suggestion from us which resolved the issue. Had they attempted the suggested fix earlier within the time frame of our troubleshooting, the content would not have been lost.

Retards,"
Click to expand...

I remember that too. That's just quality stuff right there. Especially in context with what came right before it.
 
#8
I have one that pulled double duty:

1) I had missed a few math classes in college and I was getting back up to speed before a test. The professor, who was Russian, kept referring to "raw" values of the matrices. I searched through all of my notes and the book and was unable to find any reference to "raw" matrix values. My concern was alleviated though when he wrote the "row" values on the board.

2) Thinking this story was funny enough to tell at a dinner party.
 
#11
Relic said:
"In the end, your technical team had followed an earlier suggestion from us which resolved the issue. Had they attempted the suggested fix earlier within the time frame of our troubleshooting, the content would not have been lost.

Retards,"
Click to expand...

This is so hilarius.I can so sig. this one if sig. limit lets me,don't know what'd be funnier though,making fun of myself or you in the sig ?:p

ps:I know its not making fun of but I can't think of a more suitable term right now.
 
#13
Relic said:
One of my personal favs was when I (totally inadvertently) signed an official work-related outbound email to a client with "Retards" then my name instead of "Regards" causing a somewhat tense situation between my boss and a client's supervisor. It looked for all the world like I just called his guys "Retards". I had posted a thread about this a while back, but so you can laugh at me as opposed to with here, here's last part of that email again:

"In the end, your technical team had followed an earlier suggestion from us which resolved the issue. Had they attempted the suggested fix earlier within the time frame of our troubleshooting, the content would not have been lost.

Retards,"
Click to expand...

One of my favs :)

facepalm.gif
 
#14
Friend decides to go get groceries when it is snowy outside, at around 2 AM. Friend sees empty school parking lots and decides to have a go at some doughnuts. Friend is having fun until he hits a hidden concrete pillar (about two feet high).

Snaps the rear axle of the car right off. Friend then had to call his parents and try to explain how in the hell a rear axle can just "pop out" while driving in a closed parking lot at night.

Too bad I wasn't there to witness it.
 
#15
Not my story directly, but still.

One of my brother's "friends" decides to host a killer party at his parents' house, while they were gone. This part of the story being outrageously generic, things get trashed. A 42" LCD TV, to be more precise. Being incredibly drunk, he finds an incredible idea to fix things ASAP. He proceeds to steal every iPod and cell phone he can find in coats and purses around the house, while people are still partying. He then takes his mother's car to go sell them in town. "This sly move will surely fund a new TV", he thought.

While rolling like a pimp towards the urban area, he surprisingly gets involved in a kind of serious accident. No one was wounded, but the cars weren't exactly A stock anymore. So, deciding that this was enough bad things to tell his parents, he decides to turn this into a hit and run, to save the paperwork. But as his brilliant mind raced, he realized he could also save himself the culpability, by brilliantly rolling the car into a nearby wood and calling it stolen. So he rolled the car as deep as he could, and walked home thereafter. He got there to find everyone panicking about their cell phones being stolen, said something like "You guys are lucky, my mom's car got stolen" and proceeds to call insurance and tell them so.

Mom comes home to find officers interrogating the guy, because it turns out incredibly sharp people had spotted the young man's hidden car. The wood was in the middle of a residential neighbourhood.

How did I learn this? I ran into the guy while walking, and had a chat with him as he continued his community service duty.
 
#17
L-A said:
Not my story directly, but still.

One of my brother's "friends" decides to host a killer party at his parents' house, while they were gone. This part of the story being outrageously generic, things get trashed. A 42" LCD TV, to be more precise. Being incredibly drunk, he finds an incredible idea to fix things ASAP. He proceeds to steal every iPod and cell phone he can find in coats and purses around the house, while people are still partying. He then takes his mother's car to go sell them in town. "This sly move will surely fund a new TV", he thought.

While rolling like a pimp towards the urban area, he surprisingly gets involved in a kind of serious accident. No one was wounded, but the cars weren't exactly A stock anymore. So, deciding that this was enough bad things to tell his parents, he decides to turn this into a hit and run, to save the paperwork. But as his brilliant mind raced, he realized he could also save himself the culpability, by brilliantly rolling the car into a nearby wood and calling it stolen. So he rolled the car as deep as he could, and walked home thereafter. He got there to find everyone panicking about their cell phones being stolen, said something like "You guys are lucky, my mom's car got stolen" and proceeds to call insurance and tell them so.

Mom comes home to find officers interrogating the guy, because it turns out incredibly sharp people had spotted the young man's hidden car. The wood was in the middle of a residential neighbourhood.

How did I learn this? I ran into the guy while walking, and had a chat with him as he continued his community service duty.
Click to expand...


Dude, that's not even a facepalm-caliber story. That's like the FML to end all FMLs.
 

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