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"Party" gig is actually a wedding

#41
I've dealt with some bellends in my time. It pays to always remain calm and professional, regardless of the situation. Be clear with the client as to what you will provide and listen to their requirements before agreeing terms. Have a strong and clear contract. Be prepared to say no, but go the extra mile when necessary. You will earn more money from referrals.
 
#42
Ralph Notoro said:
You just contradicted yourself. That's the gig. If you just want to do what you want to do regardless of what is expected, then you aren't being professional.

A wedding is a very special day in family's lives. It's not about you. If that's how you feel, stay home and don't ruin their party.
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No, what he described IS being professional. It's giving the client exactly what they paid for. As some have described, the standard wedding-reception expectations place a lot of extra burdens on the band; time, wardrobe, special music and requests, MCing. Wedding bands charge more because of those extra burdens, and because the family is paying for music that will fit their idea of a "very special day in their lives." It takes more for a band to do that, and to say that the band ought to jump through the extra hoops and not get paid correspondingly is preposterous. THAT's the attitude that kills live music, the notion that a musician's time and work doesn't have value and shouldn't have to be paid for.

I'm in complete agreement with those that said, if you're being paid party rate (which I assume means something to the tune of $100/man), you play it like any other private party; your usual stage attire, show up an hour early or so to set up, play three or four hours of your usual set list, pack up and go. Play and perform with the utmost professionalism, of course. But make it clear to the client that this is what they paid for. It may be a very casual wedding and very casual wedding party, and they may well be happy with that. But make sure this is communicated ahead of time.
 
#44
62Jazzbass said:
If you only found out it was a wedding through other channels, you didn't ask enough questions.

Customer service 101.

It's not the customers responsibility to know what to tell you, you need to know enough to ask.

This is all about setting expectations.

We are a weekend warrior bar band playing blues. We have been offered all sorts of gigs. I then ask questions. Backyard party for husbands birthday, we're in. Outdoor music and arts festival, in. Soft background music during fundraising dinner, out. Corporate yearly sales kick off...out.

I know what we do, where we fit, and where we don't.

A party? Tell me more. What's the setting, time of day, guest age range? What's the party for? What are your expectations for entertainment? And so on......

The demands of the gig determine the price.
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Not only do these types of questions usually eliminate this problem (30+ years of giging and never had this happen) but i find that it shows the customer that you are interested in being part of their function and not just showing up to play. You get alot more repeat business and never end up playing a gig that your type of band is unsuited for.
 
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#46
I once did a wedding that was described to me by the bandleader as "my buddy's ex-girlfriend is getting married and asked if we could do it". We ended up getting something like $600 for a quintet, low price because it was for a friend of a friend.

When I arrived at the reception site it was this monstrous mansion perched above the Hudson River, the newlyweds were both college deans and the father of the bride was a billionaire banker. We could have asked for $5000 and they wouldn't have blinked :woot:

During the reception, many guests got up to speak at the toast...it took about an hour in all. When the bandleader asked if we all didn't mind playing longer so the guests could have more time to dance, we all said:

NO WAY :roflmao:
 
#47
Just contact the person who hired you and say "originally you said this was just a party- if this is indeed a wedding, you may want to think about extra services- such as requests, using our equipment, etc... Here are our standard charges for those"

Then if they don't agree to them, you are truly being professional by providing what was required and NO MORE.
Some people on this site, don't do much in the real business world, because being a "professional" does not mean giving up everything you have for nothing, just to have a good client relationship.
The first thing you learn as a professional "lawyer, architect etc..." is SOME clients aren't worth having. Because all they will do is expect something for nothing and lose you money. Yes you will be a little flexible with a "Good" client and give some extras but NEVER with a "bad" client.
 
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#48
I just think it's putting yourself in a bad situation. If you show up in flip flops and ironic tshirts ready to play a party, then you look bad to everyone at the wedding. No referrals happening with that crowd. If you don't do the wedding "extras", then again, you look bad to the crowd. The bride and groom can just fall back on "the band is being difficult" and of course they'll do that. Are they going to say, "We lied and told them the wedding was a party so that we could get them cheaper"? Hell no. They'll put the blame on you. So instead of canceling, I would contact them, let them know that you now know that it is a wedding and get to the bottom of it. Maybe it's an extremely low key wedding and party band playing some party tunes is completely perfect. Maybe they'll provide their own MC, especially since there is now a free PA supplied. I just see far more downsides to this particular gig and would definitely contact them to set things straight.
 
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#49
You'd be surprised, a lot of TB'ers have extensive business experience.

Looking at it from the opposite side, the client might feel that having different prices for "wedding" or "party" is also under-handed. Having to reveal just the right information to get offered the right service / price is a turn-off. Some people love to haggle, most hate it.

Agreeing to a price, and realizing afterward that you could have charged more, is water under the bridge. It happens to everybody. Good negotiators will instinctively avoid telling you anything that might reveal their negotiating position. The best way of dealing with it is not to trash the gig, but to do a high quality professional job while learning from the experience and doing it better next time. Entire books have been written about price negotiation. Good luck. Fixed pricing is always an option, and may work better for some bands in the long run.

Pricing is an art. There's no one best way to do it. One idea is to always offer "packages." Tell the client: "We have packages for parties, weddings, and corporate events, that will help make sure you get everything you need. Or, we can work with your planner to create a custom event for you."

Not every client wants a full blown $30000 Hollywood wedding. Some can't afford it, others think it's gross, and a fair percentage have already been there and done that.
 
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#57
I did one unexpected wedding - it was just a gig at a bar attached to an expensive hotel, but a really small low-key wedding party reserved a couple of tables. Wish someone told us in advance, though they didn't expect MC duties or anything extra. The groom was Spanish and the bride Polish and they were friends of the hotel's Spanish manager, so it was a good thing we had a few Latin songs in the setlist. They loved "Una mas cerveza", though I doubt any of them ever heard it before. And our cajon player was late, showed up after we started the second song, but nobody complained.

Also, not a misrepresented gig but another gig-unexpectedly-meets-wedding story, while setting up for another bar gig, a couple came in to do part of their wedding photoshoot. They weren't there for the gig, the photographer just thought it was a photogenic bar. They really wanted to borrow my DB for 10-15 minutes. So somewhere out there are pictures of a woman in her wedding dress standing on a table with my bass.
 
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#58
OP, based on your last post, I have much less of an issue. They probably don't want the whole bride cuts the cake/garter ceremony, and didn't want to pay for it. I did some renewal ceremonies, and we priced and did them as a normal party. Just clear it with them as to what they are getting. If they wantthat, they should pay more, since it takes more.
 
#59
62Jazzbass said:
If you only found out it was a wedding through other channels, you didn't ask enough questions.

Customer service 101.

It's not the customers responsibility to know what to tell you, you need to know enough to ask.
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In general I agree, but in this specific case I don't think there is anyone stupid enough to not know that letting the band know that the gig is a wedding is relevant. A wedding is a special event and if you want it done right, you need a band with experience playing weddings. The client was trying to cheap out and I agree that the OP should perform the services expected of a private party, not a wedding. As to the people saying they shouldn't play requests, I have never played ANY gigs with a variety band where we don't take requests. Treat it like any other gig - accommodate the person paying you to the best of your ability.
 

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