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Performing after a couple beers

I feel OPs GP was not qualified to deal with the problem, and highly unprofessionally just handed out pills. My GP tried the same thing with my depression in the early 90s, a sample box of effexor which mom and I decided would not be a good idea.

Prescribing 2 Benzos at once to someone that young is a crime!

Can we say pharma rep kickback?

Try to get most p docs to give you xanax and another benzo at the same time, most won't do that for a reason. At the same time, most can't handle them long term without building tolerance, and the withdrawls can be nasty, worse anxiety than before (rebound anxiety).
 
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I feel OPs GP was not qualified to deal with the problem, and highly unprofessionally just handed out pills. My GP tried the same thing with my depression in the early 90s, a sample box of effexor which mom and I decided would not be a good idea.

Prescribing 2 Benzos at once to someone that young is a crime!

Can we say pharma rep kickback?

Try to get most p docs to give you xanax and another benzo at the same time, most won't do that for a reason. At the same time, most can't handle them long term without building tolerance, and the withdrawls can be nasty, worse anxiety than before (rebound anxiety).
 
And it's completely legal unlike a particular harmless plant........

Not for OP, he's under 21.

ExactlMy doctor assures me that I am a healthy 20 year old and that it would be highly unlikely for that to happen. I still just cannot wrap my head around it. I guess it is part of the illness.

You've already made your decision about what you're doing so I see only two real reasons you could have posted this thread.

1) You're satisfied in what you're doing so looking for validation.

2) You're concerned about it so you want someone call you on it.

This is me calling you on it. If you fear your medications aren't working you need to talk to a doctor and get things changed up. Taking things into your own hand and replacing doses with drinking is a terrible idea. Besides the impact it may be having on your mental health- more than likely you're driving home from these gigs with alcohol in your system. A lot of states have very serious punishments for driving with any BAC if you're under 21.

(This is not meant to debate what the drinking age should be and that's not what this will turn into. I'm looking at facts here)
 
For all those recommending SSRI's, I am never going to try another one of those. I tried combinations of Wellbutrin, Zoloft and Prozac and they almost ended up killing me. I might start saving up for a session of Behavior Cognition Therapy as recommended by a user.
 
The sad thing about my situation is that it's sort of paradoxical. I have an overwhelming fear of panic attacks in public, which can cause me to have a panic attack. So no matter how prepared I feel, it doesn't matter. My anxiety isn't from embarrassing myself from playing, it is from having an episode on stage.

This is exactly how I lost most of my twenties and early thirties stuck indoors. I went to the doctor once and got laughed at so i didn't seek further help (I was young and embarrassed, had enough difficulty getting as far as the doctors office and well, I guess professional care givers don't always have your best interests) and muddled through by myself. I found that a gulp of cognac before I went out was the key to settling my stomach and mind and over time I've all but conquered it, now I live in Amsterdam (possibly a part of my cure), have a band, get out and about. The key now is to ensure I go out even when I don't want to so as not to be comfortable indoors for too long.

So yeah go ahead and have a drop if it calms you. Hopefully it will have a similar effect on you as it did me - effectively acting to prevent anxiety problems and ultimately to make you realise you've just been out and not had an attack, thus moving you closer to cured instead of drugged.

I guess I treated the brandy as a medicine. A shot of it before doing something I previously would struggle with, but no overdosing. This enabled me to perform my own version of cognitive behavioural therapy. Good for me I don't have a particular problem with addiction, so your results may vary. I don't drink anything now, save perhaps a beer or two at rehearsal.

It's a tough road made more difficult but the fact most people just don't understand, and I wish you well.
 
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