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Pet Monkey?

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by bassturtle, May 9, 2005.

  1. bassturtle


    Apr 9, 2004
    Anyone here own a monkey or chimp? It's something that I've wanted since I was a kid, but there are no breeders close by for me to check out and for as much as they cost, I don't wanna take any chances.

    I'm fully aware of all the complications, problems, and dangers that can come from owning one, but it's still something I want to look into.

  2. jobu3

    jobu3 Artist formerly known as Big Joe

    Feb 17, 2002
    Mountain Top, PA
    I know that you said you're aware of the dangers, but a chimp will tear your arms off. Pound for pound, they are the strongest primates.

    I've honestly heard nothing but bad things about monkies for pets. Think twice before you go spending a ton on importing something. :meh:
  3. bassturtle


    Apr 9, 2004
    I was thinking more along the lines of a squirel or spider monkey....for that exact reason. No one wants to have a monkey that can rip your face off go...well...ape sh!t.
  4. bassman314

    bassman314 I seem to be a verb, an evolutionary process...

    Mar 13, 2005
    Bay Area, CA
    Ever try to pick up a 6-year-old child who DIDN'T want to be picked up? Sure... the kid only weighs 35 lbs... but they can squirm, kick, bite, and jump...

    Now imagine trying to pick that same kid up, only he weighs 5 lbs.. has sharp teeth, has claws, a tail, and can squirm 6 directions before know which way is up?

    Unless you got patience to deal with a small, fast and VERY intelligent (and therefore headstrong and stubborn) animal, I'd steer clear.
  5. NCorder

    NCorder Smoke-free since 4/3/05

    Dec 26, 2002
    Dayton, OH
    My uncle used to have a spider monkey when he and my mother were little. She said once it hit puberty it would beat off constantly in the presence of her and my aunt. And when it was mad, it would throw its poop at you. :meh:
    Not my kind of pet. YMMV.
  6. SuperDuck


    Sep 26, 2000
    If you really want a unique pet, go for a skunk. You cannot buy them _unless_ they are de-scented, which neuters them at the same time.

    Just think... how cool would it be to end a phone conversation by saying, "Oh, I gotta go - I have to walk the skunk." :D

    They're very affectionate and smart, though sometimes tempermental, and have unique dietary needs.
  7. Petebass


    Dec 22, 2002
    QLD Australia
    You should see what a monkey can do if you're holding food. In went to Bali last year and went to check out the wild monkeys in the rainforest. I made the mistake of buying bananas from the little old Indonesian lady who was selling bananas to all the tourists. Before I knew it I was covered in monkeys, climbing me like a tree. I felt like I was swatting at giant flies but I couldn't get them off me no matter what I did. Luckily they were only small and didn't do any damage. They caught me off guard that's for sure.

    Once I ran out of bananas things got much better. They would let you walk over to them and stroke their fur, and they were generally a lot more fun. They're athletic little buggers that's for sure!
  8. DigMe


    Aug 10, 2002
    Waco, TX
    This is all I can offer in the way of advice:


    brad cook
  9. I was stationed in Panama for 2 years. My first introduction to monkeys was out "in the field." Right around dusk we pulled our vehicles inside a woodline- 5 meters into the jungle (pronounced hoon-gla :) ). Anyway, there's this little foot tall monkey hanging out in one of the trees above us, it's always been my personal policy not to mess with the wildlife. There was this new kid (his name was Gamez- grrr...) and he starts making 'ooh ooh ooh' monkey sounds. EVERYONE was telling him to shut up, but he's all like "I'm just talkin' to him..." The monkey goes away, and he's all like "see, he didn't get mad." Ten minutes later a frickin' batallion of monkeys is in the trees above us, peeing on us, throwing poop and screaming. I hate Gamez to this day.

    There was another time when Gamez and I were on guard duty just off base, jungle all around... He's doing the same thing, but the monkey was bigger- but it didn't do anything.

    Shortly after Just Cause the Americans opened up the Amador Causeway, it's a strip of land connecting these 3 islands kind of in the bay of Panama City that sort of form the entrance to the Canal. After they opened it up, Panama Canal Commission employees were coming out and driving around, checking it out- it had been off limits to anyone but the Panamanian military and there was a National Geographic monitoring station on the first island. The Islands used to have big huge gun emplacements from the beginning of the 20th century, and were used as military bases by the Panamanians, and we just had those guarded, so...

    A guy and his daughter (around 5 years old) get out of their car to look at the last island- it's really beautiful. This monkey comes crawling off the side of the causeway and the little girl is all like "monkey!" And the monkey comes up and chows into the little girl's thigh. Mind you, this is one of the 4 foot tall monkeys with the 4 foot tail with the leather pad on it. Two guys from my platoon were on guard duty 20 meters away and this one guy, Floyd, went running out and tried prying the monkey off the girl. Floyd was a BIG corn fed Iowa farm boy. He somehow managed to get the monkey off the girl, and was standing on his chest. He buttstroked the monkey as hard as he could with his weapon around 15 times, and the monkey was just getting madder. I said Floyd was big, big enough to pick me up over his head and twirl me like a baton (which he took great delight in). So he fixed his bayonet and tried stabbing the monkey, and he said the chest was like leather and the bayonet wouldn't penetrate. He set the bayonet on the monkey's chest and stepped on the front sight post assembly of his weapon and sunk it in, finally killing it.

    I fear monkeys.
  10. Juneau


    Jul 15, 2004
    Dallas, TX.
    Monkeys do NOT make good pets. As another poster said, they can be a handfull when young, but once they hit puberty, its all over. They are expensive, require as much of your time as a child (read that again and really think about that), and only remain a good pet for a few years before they become devils.
  11. bassturtle


    Apr 9, 2004
    I appreciate all the info, but like I asked - anyone here actually own one?
  12. bassturtle


    Apr 9, 2004
    You bet!
  13. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Apr 12, 2001
    Olympia, WA
    Yep, sure did. When I was growing up, we had one. It was two, but my uncle took one when he moved out. Let me explain that....when I lived in Altoona, my family, my uncles family, and my grandparents all lived in the same house. My grandpa built it, yada, yada, yada, so everyone lived there. Anyway, we had two until he moved out. They were small with long tails, probably something like a spider monkey. It wasn't tiny, but it wasn't some big chimp either. I do not remember exactly what it was. It was never vicious, never violent, never threw poop or pee on anyone, and never did anything destructive. My dad, uncle, and grandpa trained it some basic obedience skills, and some other things. It was friendly to everyone in the house, and visitors.

    I will say this though....you MUST watch the monkey at all times. You can't just let it roam your house like a dog or cat. You also have to lock all your kitchen cabinets and doors, or keep the monkey in an area closed off from the kitchen. We kept ours downstairs away from the kitchen area that was closed off by a door. These are wild animals to an extent, so they will go crazy if left unattended. It happened a couple times, and our monkey had a field day looking through drawers and cabinets. It didn't go crazy in a fit of rage, or anything like that. Monkeys are creative, inquisitive, curious animals.

    That is why you should be very careful about getting one. Do NOT buy one if you are not willing to spend hours a day with it. You can NOT leave it in a cage for days at a time and take it out to show off to your friends. You can not leave it out in your house when you head off for work. Primates are very social creatures, and they need to be handled and interacted with daily just like a human. You should check into local laws also. Many cities and counties are trying to outlaw the ownership of any kind of "jungle animal", and they are having some success at it.

  14. pigpen02


    Mar 24, 2002
    My college roomate was in the army for 4 years, and also went to panama on exercises, and repeatedly told me about this one night: apparently his platoon had been out hiking all day, and some dude pelted a monkey w/ a rock or something. that night, a gaggle of monkeys assaulted a guy in his sleep, and broke numerous bones, left great gouges in his face and neck, and generally messed him up. Monkeys, i hear, are bad-ass.

    But, monkeys are highly intelligent, and, like children, respond very well to positive reinforcement, and as such, are very trainable. Monkeys make the best aids for disabled folks requiring total assistance but desiring their independence, and can be taught and trained to have excellent (by our standards) behavior. It's not easy, and requires some reading and doing, but it isn't impossible. Consequated properly, some types of monkeys could make excellent pets, in the same way that they make excellent aids. Or, so i reckon.

    But, i never had one.
  15. DigMe


    Aug 10, 2002
    Waco, TX
    They're also very handy at wearing a hat and collecting change for people who play organs on the street.

    brad cook
  16. pigpen02


    Mar 24, 2002
    See? You can make a buck at it, as well. Every seen a bass player w/ a monkey? That's gotta be original enough to earn a few$$$.....
  17. anyone seen that (pretty bad) movie Monkey Shines?? The one where the monkey aid becomes obsessed and murders people???

    Way scary! :bag:
  18. Don't_Fret

    Don't_Fret Justin Schornstein

    Dec 10, 2003
    When you're really tired, "Pet Monkey" actually looks a lot like "Pat Metheny."
  19. DigMe


    Aug 10, 2002
    Waco, TX
    I'd say Project X is probably my favorite monkey movie. I don't know though...Every Which Way but Loose is ok too.

    brad cook
  20. bassturtle, since these monkey thingo's are apparently really dangerous, why not get some Sea Monkeys???

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