i use all kinds of picks for different things, but my main one is a dunlop tortex .88 (green one). i grip it between index and thumb. i use it when the song calls for it. i mostly use fingers, though.
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+1. When I use lighter than .88 I can pick fast and have great attack, but my tone is thin. When I go heavier than .88 I get the full tone, but my dexterity is reduced and I can't get enough thwack on the attack. .88 balances it out. I pick behind the neck pup generally. I can always tell a guitar player (especially acoustic) who has picked up the bass because they pick on the fingerboard and fan out their other fingers.
Scott