Pick the punchline

[onlyoneZ]

Help me with picking a punchline for my joke.

My family and I went to Lonestar Steakhouse celebrating my son's awesome report card and teacher conference. The waiter asked me if I'd like to add battered shrimp to my dinner. I said,

1 No, I prefer my shrimp to only have had a mild talking to.
2 No, I prefer my shrimp waterboarded.
3 No, I prefer my shrimp to have been obedient.
4 No, I prefer my shrimp verbally abused.
5 No, I prefer emo shrimp. They de-vein themselves.
6 No, I can't eat around the bruises.
7 No, I prefer my shrimp only mentally tormented.
8 That depends. Why weren't they listening?
9 No, I prefer my shrimp dead.
10 No, I prefer my shrimp assassinated.
11 That depends. Are they cooperating now?

Which is funniest?

 

[TheDarkReaver]

I pick none of them.

Instead:

"But my wife is already at the table"

 

[tplyons]

Frankly, none of them are funny...

 

[TheDarkReaver]

The set-up isn't great either really.

 

[TheDarkReaver]

 

[TheMarkV]

agreed

 

[5StringBlues]

Carrots are shrimply delicious!

 

[TheDarkReaver]

Since we're on the subject of bad shrimp related jokes

Two guys were working in a morgue. While the supervisor was quite switched on, his assistant was rather daft.

One day they were talking and the assistant said, “Did you notice the young girl that was delivered this morning? The one that died from an overdose?”

“What about her?” asked the supervisor.

“Well, if you look closely, you’ll see she’s got a shrimp in her [lady garden]!”

“[BS]!” said the supervisor, “That’s impossible! You’re mad!”

The supervisor then decided to settle this once and for all. So off they went to the morgue. The assistant pulled open the drawer, pulled apart the deceased girl’s legs and said, “See, I told you there was a shrimp in there.”

“You idiot, that’s not a shrimp, that’s a clitoris,” corrected the supervisor.

To which the assistant responded, “Well, it tasted like a shrimp!”

 

[Simo98]

Lonestar Steakhouse

Oh man, sudden craving to go to Lonestar, haven't been there in a good 10 years or so.

I wonder if there are even any left in the country

 

[Deluge Of Sound]

Since we're on the subject of bad shrimp related jokes

What'd the blind man say when he walked past the fish market?

"Hello, ladies."

 

[TortillaChip520]

Since we're on the subject of bad shrimp related jokes

 

[TallLankyBastyd]

Could I get a lightly tossed dwarf instead?!?

 

[Gopherbassist]

Well there it is. Why don't you put this one into the poll?

 

[Phalex]

I'm surprised they even offered to give you a portion of shrimp at all. After all, they are Shellfish!

Wocka Wocka

 

[electracoyote]

okay, so it's corny. so what.

I was torn between #4 and #6.

 

[EricF]

I like corny crap like that. I voted for #6, but I'd keep a few of those in the arsenal for use at different times.

 

[MakiSupaStar]

I would have said, no, I like my shrimp anal raped before being put on the plate. That way they're nice and tender.

 

[Phalex]

I would have said, no, I like my shrimp anal raped before being put on the plate. That way they're nice and tender.

I like my shrimp restrained with duct tape and anal raped before being put on the plate.

I dunno why, but any rape joke just get's better with Duct Tape. Huh, I think I just discovered the one thousand and second thing you can do with Duct Tape; Make rape jokes funnier. I think I'll write a letter to the Duct Tape people right now.....

 

[EricF]

I like my shrimp restrained with duct tape and anal raped before being put on the plate.

I dunno why, but any rape joke just get's better with Duct Tape. Huh, I think I just discovered the one thousand and second thing you can do with Duct Tape; Make rape jokes funnier. I think I'll write a letter to the Duct Tape people right now.....

Sure. Nothing says funny like rape and duct tape.

 

[Deluge Of Sound]

Nothing says funny like rape and duct tape.

A fantastic picture/caption combination